advice

edited December 1969 in Faith Issues
hey everyone! I just wanted to seek your advice on a situation that i'm going through now... My best friend is hard headed and always wants her own opinion to be heard. She never seems to give me a chance to explain my views and express myself freely. Whenever i'm around her, i feel like i can't exactly act myself because i know that she'll criticize me.
I'm starting to feel that continuing being best friends isn't the best option given all we've been through.
Thx for your time .

GOD BLESS YOU

Comments

  • Tell her, don't leave her..sometimes people are blinded by their actions..just stand by her side and pray that she can see what she's doing..
  • Honestly in situations like these the best thing to do is to tell her how you feel! Just sit her down, and say "can you not talk for the next 20 minuts and just let me tell you how i feel, and let me tell you what i need to say then you can say what you need to say!" trust me she doesnt see what she is doing, she cant really se how people precieve her actions! and how they feel about them, try not to stifle her , but jest tell her that she ignores your oppinion, and taht at times she doesnt let you express your oppinions and you dont like that! And pray that she can see what she is doing and your friendship continues!

    Maria.
  • hey!
    i understand your situation...

    i had to go through somthing like that (only it wasnt my opinion being shut off, it was another thing, but i know what you're talking about)

    shes my really really good friend, and i never really had the 'courage' to tell her what was bothering me about somthing she did. it kept building up and after a while i couldnt exactly enjoy my time with her, and i would constantly leave her presence so as not get upset. one of my other good friends kinda noticed, so we ended up talking about it. it really helped, and i realized i wasnt alone.

    eventually i decided to sit her down and talk about it. i told her not to get upset and to understand that im feeling this out of weakness and i'll need her to 'change things' so we can go well together and stuff. i told her to 'wait till im done'. we talked about it for a bit. i gave her examples and told her how i felt.

    i did this without being 'attacking', (cuz if was offesive or defensive, things wouldnt work out)... she ended up apologizing and being more careful at how she did things.

    now we're closer than ever!

    so my adivce from experience, is to talk to her about it. if you want to talk to another friend, go ahead you might feel better (but be sure not to turn this into gossip or 'ganging up' or anything like that - Christ has to still be in the midst of all this so things can get better).
    pray before you approach her, and apporach her at a good time (not, for example, when she just finished yelling at her brother or somthing lol)

    ask your FOC how to deal with this, he most likely knows you and your friend, and will give you good advice.

    if she really is your good friend, she'll take into account what you said. she'll work to building your friendship stronger.
    even if she reacts negatively at first, give it a bit of time you'll notice a change. you may not get a verbal apology, but you'll get a change hopefully.

    always remember to keep Christ as the foundation of your friendship, otherwise it wont be concrete :) (even if your friend isnt Christian)

    take care and God bless
  • i think u should tell her how u feel EXACTLY!!! tell her everything... actually i did that to a friend once with out realizing it.. i would have luved if she told me how she felt.. i opened my eyes myself n saw how i was wit her.. WE'RE STILL AS CLOSE :D so u need to tell her and also show her that u posted this up here and maybe she will get how much she hurt u..

    God Bless :-*
    C.A.P.
  • well i'm kinda going threw the same thing...i noticed that everyone is saying just tell her how u feel..but (i'm not saying i'm a shy person) sometimes it hard to stand up to a really good friend because u don't want to hurt thier feelings...so what i'm saying is the next time she doesn't listen to u or critisizes u just take the advice everyone is saying..let out ur feelings and know that by doing that ur not hurting her ur helping her...
    ;D :) ;D :);D :);D :);D
    she prally critsizes u because she wants u to be the best..and i'm saying that becuz u know how i said i'm kinda going through the same thing? well i'm the one who alwayz critisizes my friends..they really didn't have to stand up to me..one day i just noticed i'm being a lil' bossy and found out for my self..i relized that i should mellow down a little
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