I have not posted on here in a while. I have gone through a lot in the several years that I have been here, and a lot of things have caused me to question a lot of things about the church and question my views. I have several questions. I will post the others in separate posts.
First of all, I do not understand the Coptic Orthodox view of a church member who believes he or she is homosexual. Or even bringing someone from the community who is homosexual to the church. Do we believe that being homosexual is a choice?
Do we believe in conversion therapy which I have heard is very harmful to people and has caused them to leave the church.
Also If someone does become Christian are they supposed to confess anytime they have weird feelings or attractions to the opposite sex?
I often think about the issue of homosexuality and how I would
never bring a homosexual to our church. For one, there was a
period of time where I was confused about my sexuality; thought I might
be gay and didn't know why I was having strange thoughts. And I was
TERRIFIED of being a lesbian. I did not choose those thoughts or
It just happened. And I prayed to God to remove the thoughts
and it didn't go away just magically.
It even went to the
point that I involved myself physically with a guy in college just to
make sure I was still attracted to guys. Because I was that afraid of
being homosexual. I was NOT a lesbian... but it was a scary time in my
So I do not agree with homosexuality being a choice. I do not believe people choose this way.
And nobody wants to live alone
for the rest of their life because they have those feelings that they
can't control, while at the same time God doesn't condone gay marriage.
I felt like if I was homosexual, I would be forced to live alone if the feelings never went away because God doesn't condone gay marriage, and that made me fall into despair and feel hopeless.
God says it is wrong, but I guess I don't understand why. Why does he let people have these confusing feelings and then at the same time condemn it and force them to live alone for the rest of their lives.
I understand why homosexuals feel like they want to leave the church.
Some people spend a lot time identifying themselves with their
favourite hero or style of clothing, but their heroes will die and the fashions
Our identity in God (from a commentary on the gospel of Saint John by
Abouna Tadros Malaty)
* We will become like the Light as we come close to the light of the
true Christ. According to the Lord’s words, if we leave the dark atmosphere of
the world and live in the heights, we become lights (Jn 9: 5; 1:9).
The true Light that lights in the darkness descends to us. However, if
the filth of sin covers our hearts, it darkens the brilliance of our light. (St.
Gregory, Bishop of Nyssa; On Virginity, 11).
*However, adoption is it is dependent on ‘our willingness.’ St. John elaborates
by saying that many ‘received Him, to them He gave the right to become children
of God, even to those who believed in His name.’ That indicates that they were
not the children of God before they believed. However, by choosing to believe
they are qualified to become His children.
Those who refuse Christ's suffering are proud. They do not step down,
so they are not healed. They say "far be it from me that I believe that
God was incarnate, born of a woman, and that He was crucified, and scourged,
that He died, was wounded, and was buried. Far be it from me that I believe
that this is of God; this does not befit God." Let the heart speak, and
not the stiffneck: For the proud, the Lord's meekness seems unsuitable to Him.
Therefore, enjoying health is far from them. If you want to be healed you must
step down. (Saint Augustine; Sermon on N.T. Lessons, 74:3; from the parable of
the paralysed man at Bethesda).
The most important aspect of our identity to understand is our relation
Everything else is subject to change and less important.
Male and female complement each other through their differences, and
can learn love and tolerance
Ephesians 5:32 – marriage is an image of the relationship between Jesus
Christ and the church
Saint John Chrysostom says that this helps us to understand God’s plan
for our salvation.
Since the time of Adam and Eve, humans have been rebellious
Ephesians 6:12 – For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but
against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of
this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.
Same gender attraction:
Estimated to be between 1%-3% in males and between 0.5%-1% in females
Dean H. Hamer and colleagues in 1993 published results from their
research that men with specific types of the gene Xq28 are more likely to be
In 1995 another group of scientists could not replicate this and found
no X linked gene.
Year Type Concordance
1952 Identical 100%
Non identical 15%
2000 Identical 31%
Non identical 13%
2001 Identical 20-25%
Later samples more representative; so concordance for orientation is
Ref: Kallmann, Kendler et al, Hersh- berger
High school students attracted to the same sex – 2-7x more likely to
attempt suicide (18. Remafedi G. JAMA. 1999;282:1291–2)
Increased risk of sexually transmitted infections & more likely to
have had sexual intercourse (including non consensual) and more partners (12.
Garofalo R et al Pediatrics 1998)
Change of gender does not relieve psychological distress:
324 people after sex change surgery
~ 10 years after having surgery –increasing psychological problems
Death from suicide nearly 20x more than similar people
Karolinska Institute, Sweden (followed up for up to 30 years)
It is normal for humans to have romantic desires as God created us with
However, all desires need to be controlled, this is why we fast
God gives us the power to control ourselves
Intimate pictures of others – harder to control thoughts
Self pleasure – harder to control emotions
Marriage – pleasure with controlled thoughts + emotions
God helps us to resist temptation:
2 Corinthians 12: 9 – My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength
is made perfect in weakness.
Matthew 19: 29 – everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or
father or mother or wife or children or lands for My name’s sake, shall receive
a hundredfold, and inherit eternal life.
1 Corinthians 10: 13 – No temptation has overtaken you except such as
is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted
beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of
escape, that you may be able to bear it.
Pray – God knows our deepest desires and came to heal + save us
God is in complete control and will give us wisdom + strength
Confess sins or temptations. There is no sin that will not be forgiven
(except lack of repentance)
Hebrews 4:15 – Our High Priest ‘was in all points tempted as we are,
yet without sin’.
Sorry for the note format, it is copied from a slide presentation.
May God guide you and give you peace.