God bless all firstly... I am new here and am not good at introductions... I wouldn't know where to begin... so please forgive me for jumping right into posting. :)
I am posting because I seek the advice of others regarding a very sensitive situation concerning an engaged friend of mine. I APOLOGIZE for how long the posting is, but, it is a very sensitive situation.
I presently live in America and am a Copt, but, my family has lived here a long time, so, I am pretty much ignorant as to the culture in Egypt having been born and raised in the Usa.
My engaged friend was born and raised in Upper Egypt. About 2 years ago got engaged in Egypt to a distant female cousin. About one year ago my friend met a non-Egyptian girl and started a relationship with her.
Everyone here knows that he is engaged and does not approve that he is being deceitful to his engaged in Egypt with this other girl here.
I have spoken to him several times about him breaking this relationship and being honest with the girl he is engaged with before they marry, but, he refuses to do this and says that he will not be with any other women other than his wife after he marries.
I feel VERY BAD for the girl he is engaged to... I have spoken to her on the phone several times and she seems so sweet and innocent. I also get very angry because this girl has no idea what my friend is doing to her over here in America.
The situation gets more complicated because all of his friends and work companions know the girl he is in a relationship with since they are together almost every day. I worry that once he marries in Egypt and the girl comes to America that one day someone will make the mistake of mentioning his relationship with the other girl and bring so much shame upon this innocent girl.
She doesn't deserve this and I think that he does not truely love her. I think he cares alot for the girl he is in a relationship now and is only getting married later next year in Egypt in order not to create a scandal with the family of the girl he is engaged to and especially in not disappointing his mother. If he had met the girl he is presently in a relationship with before his engagement, I am sure he would have married her.
He would not be with her every day, constantly calling her and worrying about her if he did not have some kind of love for the girl.
I feel very bad inside because I can see what will come from marrying this girl and it is not good. First, he will go into the marriage with a lie and will not confess it to God because he knows his Abouna will force him to tell the girl. Second, if he truly loved the girl and was serious about marriage he would not allow for everyone to see him in his present relationship.
I don't know what else to say to him... As a woman I feel bad for the girl he is engaged to, but, I just don't want to this girl in a loveless marriage and have to face the humiliation of coming to America and finding out the truth about his current relationship... because as Jesus said there is nothing hidden that will not be brought out into the light and no secret that will not be revealed....
What advise do all of you have concerning this situation?
I pray that God touch the heart of my friend and that he does what is right in this situation.
Anxiously await advice on this matter...
God bless all