orthodox and protestant couple (plz respond, all responses are welcomed)

i born and raised in egypt as orthodox then moved to the states, and i know a girl who born and raised in egypt as protestant and moved to the states as well, we met in the states, we really like each other, i can say we "love" each other but the faith issue is preventing us from revealing our feelings to each other, specially we both are strongly tied to our churches.
1- any thoughts how this can work out?
2- do u or someone u know have done this before? and if so, how life after marriage worked out?
3- let's say she agreed to get baptized, and we got married (because of course she has to get baptized to be able to marry in the orthodox church), do u think she should completely change and go regularly to the orthodox church or its ok she keep going to her church?
4- what about the kids, i really want them to be raised orthodox.
5- any other comments
THANK YOU SO MUCH IN ADVANCE for any response

Comments

  • Hello,

    You may get so many replies with the message "orthodox all the way or no relationship". I know of a couple where the guy is originally Protestant and the lady's family is Catholic...both were born in Egypt. They are together and they only go to the Orthodox Church now as a family. In fact, they are ones of the most active church members.

    I also know another couple where one of them's parents is a minister in a different church. They alternate between going to the Orthodox Church and the other church.

    The thing is, there is no clear cut "right" and "wrong" in these scenarios. There are some fundamental beliefs (that jesus is the son of God and he gave up his life for us). Some important elements of the belief system are very different between the orthodox church and the Protestant church. As a person of faith, how strong is your faith?

    I came across this verse recently:

    For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. (‭Hebrews‬ ‭4‬:‭12‬)

    God looks at the heart. What are your intentions? How do you see things working out for you two as a family? Where would the kids go? They are all group decisions. You can't make them alone and ignore your spouse.

    You can't change someone for the aim of marriage and guarantee this will last. Say she does agree to join the Orthodox Church, as time goes by, she might notice that she is not happy with the decision and decide to go back to her childhood church. She might be swayed by her feelings for you and feelings are fleeting. Once the romance dampens down, she may not feel as strongly willing to be part of the Orthodox Church as she may have been doing so "to make you happy". And God should not be about making another human happy.

    Bear in mind that as her family is Protestant, she won't simply cut herself off the Protestant church (if that's what you're hoping for). She would still join her family some days. The church where you spend your childhood has a special place in your heart and it brings a special kind of comfort to be back there.

    It takes a lot to get used to a new church (imagine you are moving to a different city and a different Orthodox Church, that can be hard enough. So how much more challenging will it be to move to a church where everything is done completely different?)

    Bottom line is, you won't know until you discuss this clearly. You may need to then take a break from each other for a while to give each other a chance to think logically without being swayed by emotions.

  • - May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, 6so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. - Romans 15

    - Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. - Phillipians 2

    -Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgement. - 1 Corinthians 1:10 

    - Finally, brethren, farewell. Be perfect, be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace; and the God of love and peace shall be with you. - 2 Corinthians 13:11 

    - Marriage: For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,[b] 8 and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” - Mark 10

    Given the fact that in marriage you are one, unity of mind is essential. There are those who say, they agree to disagree - but I ask you, is that truly unity of mind? Is that one mind, one Spirit? I believe if you answer that very simple question on a personal basis, then you have answered all 4 of your questions on your own. I suggest you think about it a few moments before you carry on reading - as I will share my personal opinion.
  • edited February 2015
    Thought about it? :) Let's go through the questions:

    1- Any thoughts how this can work out?
    It can work out if, and only if, you both have one mind and agree fully on everything. Sad part is that an Orthodox-Orthodox relationship does not always meet this criteria - And given it is orthodox-orthodox relationship they assume it is a good relationship. That is not correct. One Mind, one Spirit is essential. 

    2- Do you or someone you know have done this before? And if so, how life after marriage worked out?
    I personally am close to certain Egyptian Catholic-Coptic marriages. None are pleasant to watch. One where the one person completely let go of what they are thinking are getting along better. But who knows if that person ever decides to come back on their word? 
    If you look at the example that mnc_hnn showed :
    "the couple where the guy is originally Protestant and the lady's family is Catholic...both were born in Egypt. They are together and they only go to the Orthodox Church now as a family. In fact, they are ones of the most active church members."
    Well they both completely let go to go to a different church. Both sacrificed, both are now following one mind and attending the same church and both seem successful. One Mind. One Spirit. Essential.

    3- Let's say she agreed to get baptized, and we got married (because of course she has to get baptized to be able to marry in the orthodox church), do you think she should completely change and go regularly to the orthodox church or its ok she keep going to her church?
    I believe the previous answers include my opinion on how to answer this question...

    4- what about the kids, I really want them to be raised orthodox.
    Again, you both must have one Mind, one Spirit. If you get married, and have one Mind and one Spirit - your kids will not be an issue. If you are married and she doesn't care which church her kids attend yet she attends another church, then the issue may arise in the future if she starts believing that the church is cause your kids issues. Or she may never even care and the kids not be an issue - but there would nonetheless be an underlying problem of lack of oneness within the marriage. Marriage is all about unity. Unity between you, your spouse and most importantly God. One Mind, one Spirit, One Faith.
  • THANK YOU SO MUCH GUYS for you replies, i really appreciate your time and your thoughts, pray for me please :)
  • good messages.

    going to different churches as a married couple is very difficult. may God guide you.

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