I've been very far from God for the last couple years. Now I'm in the process of returning. I've been listening to H.H sermons on youtube, they're Great! I feel that I should be rough on myself and punish myself. so that I'll never ever do same mistake. H.H also talks about the idea of not being rough on yourself when repenting.
I've briefly talked with my FOC and explained to him that there're things I did which is very difficult for me to confess, since then Abouna encouraging me to confess.
But I feel that I should truly repent, punish myself before confessing. But my question is how can I punish myself? how can I be rough on myself from spiritual perspective.? especially in the 50 days because Metanas is not allowed,
appreciate any input.