How to meet nice Christian men

edited December 1969 in Personal Issues
Do you have any advice on how to meet nice single men, age appropriate for late 20's, other than attend church and try to join a Bible study if you can there?  I am single and don't make new friends and acquaintances easily running errands or at get-togethers with my good friends and their friends.

Comments

  • I was recommended this 5 part Real Dating sermon though I have only listened to the first 2 parts so far. It sounds good

    http://orthodoxsermons.org/sermons/real-dating-part-1

    http://orthodoxsermons.org/search/apachesolr_search/dating
  • I made notes on part 1 if you don't have the time to listen to it. But it is really useful if you can!


    How to find the one?

    You will never find true satisfaction in life until you find the one
    Marriage sometimes has a way of turning the perfect one to the one with a lot of faults
    Marriage creates more problems than it solves
    It turns things that were cute during dating to annoying
    Every marriage that is now sad did not start that way
    Every marriage starts off in the same way and they all go in different directions

    Marriage is a risk

    Dating is not an accurate picture of 50 years of marriage

    Choices:
    Play it safe, test it a lot, go slowly
    Or
    Jump in it’s 50/50

    Getting married nowadays:
    Later in life
    More reservations
    Less success

    Because of confusion, everyone has a different opinion
    We get so used to the ‘undo’ button
    We get scared

    The current dating model is quite recent
    It started during the last 50-100 years
    Traditional formal courtship: under the blanket of parental accountability

    The worst time for marriage has been in the past 100 years!

    Is it a coincidence?

    The world’s methods of dating have failed. They don’t work.

    Is there a better way?

    Before you follow a road, question if you want the destination
    Something must be better than this!
    The bible has principles on relationships

    The hardest thing to accept is that God has better plans for the other person
    Philippians 4:19 God shall supply all your needs by his riches.
    99% of marital problems are because one partner expects the other one to provide for the needs that only God can fulfil.
    If you rely on another person for your needs you are going to struggle.

    Jesus is the one
    Your spouse is the two
    Your spouse is the icing on the cake

    Love is not enough for marriage
    Love changes

    Wife:
    Submit in everything

    Husband:
    Love and lay down your life

    The key motivator: in the fear of God

    Golden rule of marriage: do to your spouse what God has done to you

    Marriage is coming to die: coming to care 100% for your spouse.
    I no longer live for myself. I live for my spouse.

    Make God your one and he will give you the two.

    2 different types of relationships: you push God or God pushes you.

    Delight yourself in the lord and God will give you what you want

    Marriage should be a triangle:
    God is the only stable corner stone





  • At least in countries like the USA or Canada, there are many Coptic Churches with youth groups and bible studies with hundreds of participants. In countries like mine, where the congregation is small and formed by converts (mostly), to find an Orthodox woman or man is almost impossible.
  • Which country (if you don't mind)
  • Does this go the other way around too? I'm sure there are lots of guys, like me, who are socially inadequate, and cannot talk to girls... or it's just me. Yup, definitely just me! Of cooooourse it's just me. Back to studying and then doing more study. You know, I'll study till I die from studying. Like that time I studied for 2 and half days straight which made my fingers bleed pretty badly. My around 500 pages of study sheets were drenched in blood. Need, more, studying. Must... understand... everything!
  • [quote author=venado link=topic=13958.msg162585#msg162585 date=1357871304]
    At least in countries like the USA or Canada, there are many Coptic Churches with youth groups and bible studies with hundreds of participants. In countries like mine, where the congregation is small and formed by converts (mostly), to find an Orthodox woman or man is almost impossible.

    I think I am just past the age of most youth groups.  I've been out of college a few years and am nearing 30.
  • [quote author=So Minute, So Lonely, So Blue link=topic=13958.msg162613#msg162613 date=1357997409]
    Does this go the other way around too? I'm sure there are lots of guys, like me, who are socially inadequate, and cannot talk to girls... or it's just me. Yup, definitely just me! Of cooooourse it's just me. Back to studying and then doing more study. You know, I'll study till I die from studying. Like that time I studied for 2 and half days straight which made my fingers bleed pretty badly. My around 500 pages of study sheets were drenched in blood. Need, more, studying. Must... understand... everything!

    Do yourself a favor. Invite a friend over, put on a comedy, and have a glass of wine, then get to sleep early tonight. Blood like that is not cool.
  • [quote author=Anastasia1 link=topic=13958.msg163008#msg163008 date=1359260322]
    [quote author=So Minute, So Lonely, So Blue link=topic=13958.msg162613#msg162613 date=1357997409]
    Does this go the other way around too? I'm sure there are lots of guys, like me, who are socially inadequate, and cannot talk to girls... or it's just me. Yup, definitely just me! Of cooooourse it's just me. Back to studying and then doing more study. You know, I'll study till I die from studying. Like that time I studied for 2 and half days straight which made my fingers bleed pretty badly. My around 500 pages of study sheets were drenched in blood. Need, more, studying. Must... understand... everything!

    Do yourself a favor. Invite a friend over, put on a comedy, and have a glass of wine, then get to sleep early tonight. Blood like that is not cool.

    Sorry, I was being a little extreme :(. My fingers did bleed due to pressure but it was just like a little small puncture cut, it wasn't as intense I said it was; I was exaggerating and I regret that. The 500 pages was not an exaggeration though. I literally used almost 4 bundles of paper. But it's true, I must understand everything or else I will not be adequate in the field of science. Those who don't understand are less likely to make a difference. The more knowledge I have the more connections I could possibly make I believe.

    I'll do myself a favour and take a break from studying because my eyes are getting pretty darn bad from all this studying. A glass of wine in school season is unaccepted for me, I only drink during breaks outside exams, but I'll have some ice cream. I'll watch TheYoungTurks, and I'll just relax... this will be after my exams of course, February 14.

    One more thing, invite a friend over... Yeah, if only I had friends to do that... One problem at a time lettuce, just one problem at a time, it was a mistake i posted here, because this problem is deeper than my main problem... one at a time lettuce.

    Please pray for me and good luck to you, I'm praying for you.

    Lettuce (I actually typed my real name, but phew, I noticed before I posted.. too early in the morning).

    Edit: Oh yeah, I still hold to my claim when I said, "Of cooooourse it's just me"
  • [quote author=Anastasia1 link=topic=13958.msg163007#msg163007 date=1359260170]
    [quote author=venado link=topic=13958.msg162585#msg162585 date=1357871304]
    At least in countries like the USA or Canada, there are many Coptic Churches with youth groups and bible studies with hundreds of participants. In countries like mine, where the congregation is small and formed by converts (mostly), to find an Orthodox woman or man is almost impossible.

    I think I am just past the age of most youth groups.  I've been out of college a few years and am nearing 30.



    The majority of what you are is how you see yourself to be. If you look at yourself in a way that says "I don't belong with youth" "I'm too old" etc etc...then it is a self fulfilling prophecy...

    In my church there are many unmarked people 30 and over who still hang around with the rest of the younger youth.

    As long as you don't start separating yourself from people, you can fit in with most. It is when you start creating mental barriers that makes you feel that you cannot be around certain age groups.

    I have to say, I made mistakes where I thought that I do not belong with people the same age as me. I felt that I cannot connect with them because my thinking was different to issues they think about.

    We just make assumptions that people younger than us will not understand. Or people our age are too shallow for us. These things are not always true, you may find someone who is much younger than you whose life has taught him/her more than you. There are also older people than us who are too spoilt and still have a lot of growing up to do.

    The worst thing about making assumptions is that it will hurt us the most. We will find ourselves lonely and separated from everyone around us because we can't find people exactly like us.

    It is very hard to find someone with exactly the same circumstances and life experiences as yourself. Just be open to converse with everyone. (But I'm not saying don't be cautious or believe everything you hear).

    You are only as old as you want yourself to be. (It's up to us if we want to feel aged and miserable)
    You are only as mature as the number of tribulations life has shown you. (Don't dwell on things for too long, just long enough to learn the moral of the story...then move on)
  • the short answer is to be a nice Christian woman!
    8)
    does your church have Bible studies? today in our church we had more than 10 people at the english Bible study and they were about half men.
    if u meet more people, and do great things together like study the Bible, this will help.
    also get to meet women too, as a lot of them have brothers and cousins who are men!
    ;)
    we have nice single men in our church in the 30+ category, but i suppose it's a bit far to come...
    but seriously, if u go to church and stay for coffee and ask about Bible study or helping poor people or some other kind of outreach or service, you will meet people and also find out more about living a good Christian life.
    may God guide you.
  • [quote author=So Minute, So Lonely, So Blue link=topic=13958.msg163012#msg163012 date=1359292497]
    [quote author=Anastasia1 link=topic=13958.msg163008#msg163008 date=1359260322]
    [quote author=So Minute, So Lonely, So Blue link=topic=13958.msg162613#msg162613 date=1357997409]
    Does this go the other way around too? I'm sure there are lots of guys, like me, who are socially inadequate, and cannot talk to girls... or it's just me. Yup, definitely just me! Of cooooourse it's just me. Back to studying and then doing more study. You know, I'll study till I die from studying. Like that time I studied for 2 and half days straight which made my fingers bleed pretty badly. My around 500 pages of study sheets were drenched in blood. Need, more, studying. Must... understand... everything!

    Do yourself a favor. Invite a friend over, put on a comedy, and have a glass of wine, then get to sleep early tonight. Blood like that is not cool.

    Sorry, I was being a little extreme :(. My fingers did bleed due to pressure but it was just like a little small puncture cut, it wasn't as intense I said it was; I was exaggerating and I regret that. The 500 pages was not an exaggeration though. I literally used almost 4 bundles of paper. But it's true, I must understand everything or else I will not be adequate in the field of science. Those who don't understand are less likely to make a difference. The more knowledge I have the more connections I could possibly make I believe.

    I'll do myself a favour and take a break from studying because my eyes are getting pretty darn bad from all this studying. A glass of wine in school season is unaccepted for me, I only drink during breaks outside exams, but I'll have some ice cream. I'll watch TheYoungTurks, and I'll just relax... this will be after my exams of course, February 14.

    One more thing, invite a friend over... Yeah, if only I had friends to do that... One problem at a time lettuce, just one problem at a time, it was a mistake i posted here, because this problem is deeper than my main problem... one at a time lettuce.

    Please pray for me and good luck to you, I'm praying for you.

    Lettuce (I actually typed my real name, but phew, I noticed before I posted.. too early in the morning).

    Edit: Oh yeah, I still hold to my claim when I said, "Of cooooourse it's just me"

    A post like this is only a mistake if it harms you in some way. You sought to be proactive. Sometimes an error can help us see what real issues are. Do not be too hard on yourself. A rested mind is sometimes a more productive mind. A happy person can be a more productive person.  A study partner can help the test prep go better.

    [quote author=mabsoota link=topic=13958.msg163014#msg163014 date=1359310632]
    the short answer is to be a nice Christian woman!
    8)
    does your church have Bible studies? today in our church we had more than 10 people at the english Bible study and they were about half men.
    if u meet more people, and do great things together like study the Bible, this will help.
    also get to meet women too, as a lot of them have brothers and cousins who are men!
    ;)
    we have nice single men in our church in the 30+ category, but i suppose it's a bit far to come...
    but seriously, if u go to church and stay for coffee and ask about Bible study or helping poor people or some other kind of outreach or service, you will meet people and also find out more about living a good Christian life.
    may God guide you.

    I would still feel weird dating someone 7 years younger than I am.

    Do you think it would be ok to attend a Bible study at another parish if mine was hard to attend for various reasons?

  • A post like this is only a mistake if it harms you in some way. You sought to be proactive. Sometimes an error can help us see what real issues are. Do not be too hard on yourself. A rested mind is sometimes a more productive mind. A happy person can be a more productive person.  A study partner can help the test prep go better.

    I become SO jealous by reading these posts, and frustrated, so it did do some harm. A rested mind is sometimes a more productive mind, a happy person  can be a more productive person, a study partner can help the test prep go better.

    I don't know, AnastasiaOne (Sounds like an airliner, no offence), but those words, which I have repeated above, really hit me hard. You have just doubled my happiness. Really helped me, a lot, I'm going to follow your advice. There are some things I will prepare and do to help me with my problems. I will post a topic shortly (within one month), on what I am doing so people can see that their efforts to help a lonely, blue, minute, brother is actually working. I would like you to see the topic too when it opens.

    Thank you a lot... For all those who helped me as well, you all deserve my recognition and in a months time, in due season, I will show that recognition with action.

    ...Sorry for taking this topic... so off-topic... Good luck with your quest to find nice christian men. I'm praying for you and whoever the heck wants to be prayed for, praying for them too. If nice christian women only like nice christian men then I've got a lot of work to do in 10 years. Haha, one problem at a time, lettuce, just one...
  • anastasia1, if u are 'nearing 30' then the guys in my church are older than u.
    there should be others in your country too.
    it's certainly fine to go to other Bible studies.
    if u don't meet interesting people, then the improvement in your spiritual life will help you to find God's will for your life, and then you will become the interesting person people want to meet!

    so either way it works!
    this applies for the other people who have written in this thread too.
    :)
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