Why do alot of people expect too much from a person?

edited January 2013 in Personal Issues
If I go to a coptic event they say so we will see you next week at this charity event or church and they take it very
why do they judge me so harshly for not giving up my life for them?
seriously the tone is even if you fail in life still you must come well thats how I took it
this probably happens in other non coptic churches because I see it in other people I deal with in a different manner
sorry if this post is unnecessary or offensive I am making too many posts in a row but I think we will all benefit
feel free to delete whatever posts you want but do not close down this forum

Comments

  • When they say that it's not because they're judging you.
    It's just a way of saying that they are happy to see you and want to see you again next week. Assume that they always thinking the best for you.
  • It can feel hurtful if you take everything too sensitively. When someone says something to you, please try to consider all the various 'options' for the reasons for what they say. Most of the time, it is unlikely that they have bad intentions.

    In this case, when people say "ahh, so see you next week!"

    What do you think?

    You think that they are saying "you better be here next week at 9am or we will reconsider whether we should ever talk to you again"

    Or

    "You better turn up next week or else you are a really bad person"


    How would you feel if they don't say anything at all?

    You would still take it sensitively and think: these people completely ignore me. They don't want me here, they didn't even bother to invite me to the event next week :(


    So...

    What they meant is:

    Hey, we want to see you more often, you are one of us and we miss your face! Try to come next week...it'll be nice to hang out more often :)
  • great answer mnc_hnn!
    :)
  • Excellent forum, Thnkx for uploading the important material. I found it useful. Best regards !!
  • Man, I pray for you. At least you didn't ruin your life. At least you have a life and at least people talk to you. At least you know how to talk to people. I'm none of the above, so consider yourself really lucky. I just got out of a bad mindstate and area in my life and I realized how much I wasted my life and it's traumatizing.

    Lucky you.
  • [quote author=mabsoota link=topic=14169.msg162838#msg162838 date=1358506722]
    great answer mnc_hnn!
    :)


    You're too kind


    Dear so and so and so,

    (Your name is too long)

    It is not a competition or a comparison here. No one is lucky. Everyone has their own lows and trials. But again, I detect high levels of self pity. Try to resist
  • [quote author=mnc_hnn link=topic=14169.msg162877#msg162877 date=1358701123]
    [quote author=mabsoota link=topic=14169.msg162838#msg162838 date=1358506722]
    great answer mnc_hnn!
    :)


    You're too kind


    Dear so and so and so,

    (Your name is too long)

    It is not a competition or a comparison here. No one is lucky. Everyone has their own lows and trials. But again, I detect high levels of self pity. Try to resist

    Well, I ruined my life. Read my other post in the Llmoyhd topic.... you probably did, just saw the post.

  •   Sometimes if we get depressed first it can give us sadness, but then after that, it can make us angry. Just the frustration of nothing moving. We are involved in God's creation, so we try to involve ourselves creatively. In a righteous manner, that our lifes aren't empty because it has only come from us.
      If you study science so blue, then it might be best to veiw the things you see as God's creation instead of just something material, even though it is. It is still moving. So you are involved in movement too.

      I pray you find someone who is in common with you and that you actively go to find them.
  • i think what you should say, rather than 'i ruined my life' is 'i committed a much bigger sin than i thought i would and it seriously dented my pride and took away my hope'.

    but (i think) you didn't do mass murder (like saint moses the strong) or prostitute yourself to a whole boat full of sailors and religious pilgrims (like saint mary the egyptian).
    but even these people found repentance and salvation.
    maybe it would help to watch their saint movies (or saint ba'eesa the repentant) to put things into perspective.

    ok, when saint ba'eesa finally repented, she had spent all her money, she had no useful education and she was not only a prostitute, but she was manager of a house of prostitution and when she heard a monk was coming to visit her, her first thought was to put on her best clothes and seduce him!
    :o
    so i realise you feel really low, but there is a way out. are you really so much more difficult to reach than these people?

    no, brother, and God is waiting with open arms like the father of the prodigal son.
    so accept you are starting from zero, but with your zero investment, God can make millions (of good things) with you.
    :)
  • [quote author=mabsoota link=topic=14169.msg162882#msg162882 date=1358716695]
    i think what you should say, rather than 'i ruined my life' is 'i committed a much bigger sin than i thought i would and it seriously dented my pride and took away my hope'.

    but (i think) you didn't do mass murder (like saint moses the strong) or prostitute yourself to a whole boat full of sailors and religious pilgrims (like saint mary the egyptian).
    but even these people found repentance and salvation.
    maybe it would help to watch their saint movies (or saint ba'eesa the repentant) to put things into perspective.

    ok, when saint ba'eesa finally repented, she had spent all her money, she had no useful education and she was not only a prostitute, but she was manager of a house of prostitution and when she heard a monk was coming to visit her, her first thought was to put on her best clothes and seduce him!
    :o
    so i realise you feel really low, but there is a way out. are you really so much more difficult to reach than these people?

    no, brother, and God is waiting with open arms like the father of the prodigal son.
    so accept you are starting from zero, but with your zero investment, God can make millions (of good things) with you.
    :)


    Thank you mnc_hnn, Joshua and Mabsoota for your responses. I've decided to proceed with self-punishment to realize I've done a mistake and I've made a topic on it. I can't prostitute myself as I'm not a female, and even if I could prostitute myself as a male I couldn't because I'm not attractive enough, unfortunately... well, fortunately, pfft, no comment, lol. A manager of a house of prostitution? Sounds like a whore to me, amazing how she's a saint... A whore turns into a saint... imagine what I can turn into if I can put my mind and heart towards it... That's amazing, hard to fathom prostitutes becoming great saints and mass murderers becoming great saints.

    No I can't be more difficult to reach than these people, no way, they were at the depths of the pit! I'm not even close to that, fortunately.
    Thanks or those supportive words! I feel better, but I WANT to remember what I did for the REST of my life. Like I remember that the integral of x^-2 is -x^-1 instead of -2x^-3.

    You know what, i'll log all of my experiences and write a book, or journal or diary then make it available to people. Might as well, I'm a fast typer and have a lot in mind.

    Thanks a ton for those words mabsoota, and to you too Joshua and mnc_hnn,

    mnc_hnn: you're right I can't compare myself to others, that's foolish and selfish. mikeforjesus has it as bad, if not worse, as I do, no doubt. We're enduring different struggles and it isn't up to me to judge who bears the most weight.

    Joshua: I am depressed, even after my words above, I feel saddish, but I need that sadness to progress. I notice after a spur of sadness and crying I improve and become stronger and better in life but it fades then I go into another spur of sadness like a cycle.


  •   I think it has been great that you can express how you feel so well and that others genuinely care for you and that if we can encourage or share the hope we have, then good, knowing that we have done this in Christ name.

      Hope is the spiritual movement, the thing deep inside someones heart that God always gives.
Sign In or Register to comment.