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Why was my dad against me being a monk but now he is not?

mikeforjesusmikeforjesus
edited January 2013 in Faith Issues
Now he does not care if I get married or not.. but I know he ofcourse cares
My mum I told her I would play genie in the bottle at my wedding and she cried
I asked her why. She said because she would be really happy when I get married
I will also try to play complicated by Avril

Comments

  • Boricua_OrthodoxBoricua_Orthodox
    Happy Theophany to you , Mike.  When I was in my early 20's my mom was sadden to know I wanted to become a priest. This was because she wanted grandchildren . Then after I joined a religious community she was proud of me. Some parents have mixed feelings because of the sacrifices a priest or monastic may have to do: celibacy, poverty, no family and ascetic practices. It's similiar , to a degree, when someone's child enters the military (scarier due to the risk of death by war).
    Parents wish to see their families grow. The monastic life is not at all easy! But marriage isn't either!! They both are paths to holiness. Make sure to speak with your spiritual father about this and go visit some monasteries and speak with a monk about this. Discern well and pray. May God bless you!
  • ritarita
    I am also kinda of going through the same thing. I keep telling my mom I want to be a  sister or nun after I graduate with an engineering degree. And I don't want to get married I just want to live and sere in monastry my whole life. But sometimes she gets upset because she wants grandchildren. And she wants me to stay close to her. I can not thing of this to much though because I have to finish school first and pay all my loans but its up to God to decide. But please if any of you have more about this topic let me know what you thing. Pleaseeeeee this has been going through my mind for a while.
  • Boricua_OrthodoxBoricua_Orthodox
    Rita, continue trusting God for His will be to be done.  Make sure to ask yourself some questions such as: Why do I want to be a monastic? Is it to run away of some problems or insecurities? Do I feel unattractive? Do I have a romantic (unrealistic) expectations about monastic life? What am I avoiding? Write your answers and feelings in a personal journal (it can be a diary or notebook) and share your thoughts with your spiritual father or mother. Writing them down tend to help sort out your thoughts and feelings and not feel overwhelmed. Don't rush it. Be patient and continue living a true sacramental life in Christ! God bless you.
  • ritarita
    It is very hard for me but I know God will help me through. And I always ask myself is it just to escape from something? But I don't feel that way. Everywhere I go I see couples and families struggling but again I feel that if God wants me to get married he will send me the right person and open my heart to the right person at the right time. It's still gets harder for me to talk about this issue as I grow. Sometimes I feel that there is something wrong with me cause I just don't have romantic feelings for anyone. Sometimes if I start to get feelings. I don't pay attention to them . I feel that God gave me so much that there's a need for me to go serve there. I also don't care about this world or what's in it. But the feelings of what if just keep attacking me. But The Lord said trust The Lord with all your heart. And I will keep trusting because he has a great plan for me. Please keep me in your prayers because this has been a big struggle for me there is still more to this. However I know that with prayer and faith in my God he will show me the way.
  • Boricua_OrthodoxBoricua_Orthodox
    I will pray for you. I just want to re-emphasize the sharing and journal writing part. Do you keep a diary/ journal? Are you sharing with a spiritual father/mother?
    When you write down your thoughts and feelings you're emptying yourself of overwhelming feelings that can cause anxiety, stress and confusion. It's amazing how once you put pen to paper the emotional floodgates burst open and you will write for a long time and marvel how time flies by!

    Make sure there's an Abouna, Khouria or some spiritually wise person in your life to help sift through those feelings and help you in your discernment. Never stay alone with these feelings/thoughts. Are you a teen, a young adult ? Adolesence can stir up intense feelings of passion, guilt and confusion that can last a lifetime. This is why we need mentors. God bless you.
  • ritarita
    Thank you. God bless you .Off course I have two journals. I do love writing in them and I did talk to my spiritual father about it. But all I have to keep doing is praying for the right path.
  • Theophilus 1Theophilus 1
    [quote author=rita link=topic=14094.msg162514#msg162514 date=1357660046]
    I am also kinda of going through the same thing. I keep telling my mom I want to be a  sister or nun after I graduate with an engineering degree. And I don't want to get married I just want to live and sere in monastry my whole life. But sometimes she gets upset because she wants grandchildren. And she wants me to stay close to her. I can not thing of this to much though because I have to finish school first and pay all my loans but its up to God to decide. But please if any of you have more about this topic let me know what you thing. Pleaseeeeee this has been going through my mind for a while.



    From what I have heard, it is better not to tell parents or anyone else for that matter that you intend to become a monk/nun. Just like St. Marry used to keep everything in her heart you will feel inner peace if you don’t discuss the matter with others. Of course this doesn’t include your Father Confessor (FOC).

    Check if this advice will work for you with your FOC.  :)

    Pray for me
    Theophilus   
  • ritarita
    Yes that's a very good idea. Thank you. and yea I didn't discuss it with anyone except foc and my mom. I feel that someone in ur family needs to know of what goes in ur life because their ur parents.
  • mikeforjesusmikeforjesus
    Family life is very distressing for me I think I will leave it to live on my own making my own money
    I will leave my fathers inheritance to my siblings or to the trust of God
    Money has always been a lie perhaps it is unrighteousness mammon perhaps it should  never have been considered our possession or never was Gods will for it to be mine
    I am going to quit engineering to live on my own as I am not accepted by many people and I have to play by their rules
    I am going to try and move to USA

    Problem is I am incompetent at most jobs please recommend work for me
    I don't think I can even mow the lawn well

    The pain of my purchases is too much I am going to start from zero

    I am simply not like other people and not understood also no one has the shopping problem I have from similar circumstances and I will not accept defeat
  • ritarita
    But if you think about it ( not that I should be talking) but that's a way of you trying to escape from life. The Lord to us people will hate you because they have hated him. As children of Christ we are not meant for this world. "If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. (John 15:18 ESV).That's why you might not be accepted here by some people or you will have suffering. I understand Engineering is difficult cause I am studying it to. But you can't run from those problems and there is no way of running from them because they will come back straight to you. God gave your life and your problems for a reason. You can't just quit anything. You have to pray and tell God to show you the way. There is always a right time for everything. I can't tell you not to come to USA but God  if God wants you to he will open the way.you must think about this again though and ask urself this like I been asking myself alo. Am I running away from the life God have me? What am I escaping from? What does God want to let me learn or get from these problems? And just put ur trust in God. Again I am the last one to be talking about this. But God will be with you.
  • mabsootamabsoota
    wow, rita, u have a quote from father arseny!
    i just read a book which was lots of quotes of his and his life story, a truly amazing (departed) priest monk in russia.
    if u follow his advice, u will do well.
    and yes, it's not good to run away.

    finish what you are doing before you leave to do something else.
    our Lord and Saviour's last words were 'it is finished!'
  • ritarita
    yes the book is great i love the book. You can see Gods hand in the book. Father Arseny was such a kind hearted person and is a great saint. Not everyone can die and rise again. But God loved him so much. The book made me cry though. It is a very strong book. please you have any other recommendations for books let me know. Thank you God bless You :) :) :)
  • mikeforjesusmikeforjesus
    Im going to stay in my country and try to finish my degree
  • ritarita
    Its a good decision. Again I can't tell you what u can and can't do. But do Wat u think is pleasing to God and you will always end up successful in his eyes. You will never know his plan maybe she wants u to work in the US after u graduate. Just keep praying about and don't try to run away from ur problems. Remember that ur not the only one who problems. Maybe people including myself are going hardships too. But with God nothing will stand against his people. :)
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