My name is Jeremy I don't normally make posts but I am becoming distant from the church and need the power of the holy spirit this forum is my only connection to the church and giving it a chance to benefit me and to see my need for it
I have a challenge for God
It comes to my mind that perhaps I need to take the sacraments to stop sinning to get the power of the Holy Spirit (the assumption being He is not active just because I am baptised or because I have asked for His help)
I used to take it a lot but I feel tired of performing that ritual often and seeming like a blind sheep and a liar making assumptions I don't want to credit the sacraments for Gods grace in my life unless it is well evidenced
I will say I had felt after taking Holy Comnunion my face shined but that could be in my head but where does that leave all who love God and their neighbor outside the church .. To eternal damnation ?
Now that is offensive so I can not believe that God would insist I need to take the holy communion to be saved
I did feel when I took the holy communion I had grace but I don't want to take it for the above reasons and because being too religious and exclusive and scary only harms myself and others perhaps or maybe not ... I do not want to be quick to judge others and say the Holy Spirit and salvation can not happen outside the church
Even though the Church may not be righteous in all that they judge there is a possibility for the sacraments to have value ...
So........ My challenge to God is as I take the holy communion I want Him to give me no desire to masturbate for 1 or 2 months even if I try to and afterwards I will continue taking the Holy Communion after 2 months it becomes necessary that I have to make some effort also
.. For God to bring me back to the church
Can God work mightily in His Church as in the time of the apostles ? He knows I am not testing Him for a sign there is a story in the desert fathers where the monks prayed for an unbeliever in the holy communion as Christs body and he saw it those well read in the church fathers will know what I am talking about
I just feel when I went to church so often I did not always hear a life changing sermon or have any ability or understanding to reach the lost and feeling saved but just doing rituals because u relied on them alone too much
But I feel the real reason I lust is boredom and despair about my abilities but if I had the holy spirit active perhaps I would not be bored