Wives ,submit yourselves to your own husbands -Ephesians 5:21-23

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Comments

  • + Irini nem ehmot,

    Guys, for the love of God, don't encourage him. Just ignore him. It's the best thing for this forum. We don't need more of his ramblings polluting these threads.
  • [quote author=geomike link=topic=11915.msg147356#msg147356 date=1320982912]
    [quote author=irishpilgrim link=topic=11915.msg147340#msg147340 date=1320970343]
    [quote author=Michael Boutros link=topic=11915.msg141921#msg141921 date=1311629429]
    The OP stated he already read the commentary of St. John. As for the link I posted, the author may not be Coptic Orthodox, but his insight into the chapter still holds.


    Hi Michael,

    Thank you for your compassionate attempt to help resolve a serious issue. I disagree with your conclusion and representation that this protestant bible commentary "holds" as Orthodox theology. Of course, you can rely on any references that you choose. But, especially in these days when Coptic theology of marriage is so weak and confused, probably heretical, it seems to be wrong to add to the confusion by vouching for generally un-orthodox authorities. It is an obvious public disgrace that there are no Coptic sources that we can rely on. If you are able, it would be valuable if you would study St. Chrysostom's commentary and let us know how you think its spiritual value and persuasion compares with the protestant source that you recommended. Which is the strongest support for your present or future marriage and family? Encourage your bishop to put Coptic gender and family theology back on the true traditional orthodox track.



    Coptic Theology on marriage weak and confused? Do you hear urself. I don't know what denomination you are, but before you go out and make the most general statements like that, you need to bring proof to the table. Why is it that you think the Coptic Theology on marriage is weak and confused?(i'm not mocking, i am sincerely wondering why you think so.) Also, can you try to organize your thoughts in one or two posts, not 9?


    Hi geomike,

    Thank you for your seeming concern for Coptic theology (and practice) on marriage (which is seemingly being destroyed by our Coptic leadership's current seeming abandonment of belief in and teaching of God's traditional patriarchal gender and family commandments).

    Yes, it seems to me that it is weak, confused and heretical. This seems to be proven by the seeming exponential rate of increase of unreasonably caused, routinely accepted, divorces by young Coptic wives/ mothers throughout U.S. Coptic parishes. I have repeatedly shown various examples of my experiences of this apostacy on tasbeha and coptichymns in the past. As I have explained in these previous posts, I have used every opportunity to ask for answers to these issues from every Coptic bishop and priest I have encountered, beginning before my Coptic rebaptism over 16 years ago. They have refused to make rational scripture and tradition based responses to my persistent, respectful questions. Some have attempted to answer by making modern feminist misrepresentations/ misinterpretations of traditional Orthodox gender, family and marriage theology. No published authorities (only fabricated/ false personal attacks), have been presented in opposition or criticism of the substance of my many relevant posts and the scripture verses and traditional Orthodox patristic authorities that I have presented. I have repeatedly asked for references to published Coptic documents that explain and support the new heretical Coptic gender, family and marriage philosophy and practice that justifies the evil results (divorces) that they regularly produce.

    I was not able to respond to various independent posts, as they were made. I had specific questions on every post that I responded to. I don't think it is possible to meaningfully discuss complex spiritual issues and heresies in concise "sound bites." I wish it were possible, but even you have not even attempted to make any conclusive objective answer to any admittedly serious issue that I have raised. I hope that you, and/or others will add some valid response to correct my, seemingly unbelievable, speculations of the serious systemic general rebellious anti-patriarchal feminism heresy that has already practically consumed traditional, pre-1950 protestant and Roman catholic "christianity." Father Lawrence Farley's article, that I posted in two recent discussions, verifies that western Eastern Orthodox theology now has all of the similar symptoms that he experienced during the earlier feminist compromise of the Anglican/ Episcopal Church. I personally experienced the same earlier capitulations of the Catholic Church leadership that has produced its current related sexual/ moral collapse.

    Who is your bishop?
    How many young wife filed civil divorces have occurred in his diocese in the last twenty years?
    Did the divorcing wives ask for and receive his permission to file for civil divorce?
    On what grounds did he grant each permission?
    Did the divorced husband ask for his help to save his marriage and comfort his young children?
    How did he assist each husband and child?
    Does he have any spiritual concerns for these divorcing wives and their victim husband, children and extended family members.
    Does he consider these divorces to be spiritual threats to the current and future Coptic Church?
    Has he searched for and published spiritual solutions for these divorces?
    How can we all obtain the information he has published?
    How does he assist to prevent these divorce caused spiritual damages to his Coptic community in the future?

    I appreciate your concern, help and prayers, for me, for our Coptic divorce victims and for our Coptic leaders - whose God assigned duty this evil seems to compromise.       

  • [quote author=irishpilgrim link=topic=11915.msg147346#msg147346 date=1320973312]
    [quote author=elsi70x7 link=topic=11915.msg143336#msg143336 date=1313690177]
    It means if a women is blessed to have a husband that puts Christ first, she should in turn respect his (her husbands) views, even if she might not agree with him at the moment. Like if they have a disagreement she would accept his 'last say' on the matter and do as he say's. When a man puts Christ first they cannot go wrong.



    Hi elsi70x7,

    Thank you for sincerely sharing what you have been taught concerning this vital marriage relationship principle in this post and in your later posts.
    Who is your bishop?
    Have you ever attended any of your bishop's sermons on marriage and family?
    Where did you attend these sermons?
    What parish did you attend when you learned the principles of marriage that you have shared with us?
    For about how many years have you known these marriage principles?


    Hi irishpilgrim,

    You are most welcome! I also feel the importance of understanding the 'Mystery of Marriage'. Since the original sin was between husband and wife (Adam and Eve); I think a lot of our ills would be healed if we can understand the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony.
    I am an Ethiopian Orthodox, but I attend St. Mark Coptic Orthodox Church in Pembroke Parish Bermuda Island. Our Bishop is Fr. Isaac El Antony.
    I have been studying this subject for many years. I always loved the story of Adam and Eve.

    Thank you and GOD Bless you!!!
  • [quote author=Andrew link=topic=11915.msg147355#msg147355 date=1320982402]
    [quote author=irishpilgrim link=topic=11915.msg147349#msg147349 date=1320976858]
    [quote author=Andrew link=topic=11915.msg143532#msg143532 date=1314044082]
    [quote author=elsi70x7 link=topic=11915.msg143530#msg143530 date=1314041187]
    [quote author=Joshuaa link=topic=11915.msg143509#msg143509 date=1313962541]

    The wife is the weaker vessel but the onus or responsiblity is on the husband.


    Oh yes, thats right we have to read the whole scripture to get the whole truth. The husband is responsible for his wife as Christ is responsible for the Church.
    It is not a 'one-sided' thing. The husband has to prove himself worthy of the wife's submission. The husband must have Christ as his leader.
    (emphasis mine)

    Where are you getting this from? I don't see anything in the passage to indicate that. Furthermore, we learn from the great saint (I forget her name) who is called "the mother of the poor" that no matter how awful the husband is the wife should be submissive, unless it leads her away from the faith.


    Hi Andrew,

    Long time no see. Are you tired yet, of stumbling through this minefield with no map, and blindfolded? I hope you'll have time, energy and patience to struggle your way through all of St. Chrysostom's commentaries. It is a valuable exercise for every servant, and for your classes. You can then brief them to your bishop, maybe some rare priest, and even to HH Pope Shenouda. I download St. C's commentaries to my ancient (Orthodox?) Palm and work my way through them when I can. I need to add a few notes in the text for my understanding. Clean house, sweep out all of those feminist demons that try to puzzle you.  Please read the last few pages of the Ephesians commentary referred to in this discussion. St. John gives some 21st century suggestions for marriage preparation.


    You don't understand how tired I am, Irishpilgrim. But, alas, there is no hope for me. Those bloody feminists have taken hold of me and corrupted my mind beyond repair. Pray for me daily!


    Hi Andrew,

    No, you'll come back strong; with just a small daily spiritual energy and knowledge shot of St. Chrysostom. It will enable you to better understand and to offer the greatest spiritual truths available to your old misled feminist influencers. 


  • Hi elsi70x7,

    Have you ever attended any of your bishop's sermons on marriage and family?
    Where did you attend these sermons?

    For about how many years have you known these marriage principles?


    Oh, irishpilgrim,

    I also have listened to a few of Abouna Antony Messah's sermons online. I think he is the marriage expert!
    I've known these things for many years; but sadly realized that a good man is very hard to find. I'm very dissapointed in mankind really  :'(

    GB
  • elsi (may i shorten yr name?),
    to find a good husband, u need to be a good wife.

    in other words, work hard on yr character and spiritual life, so that u will benefit a 'good' husband if u find one or be able to love and accept a 'bad' husband because u r so close to God.
    of course, no husband or wife is 'good' or 'bad'; we are all somewhere in between. but the more u work on yourself, the more content u will be with whatever situation God puts u in.

    also to have a good friend, u need to be a good friend; to find a good priest, u need to be a good church member etc. etc.
    the more we work on ourselves, the less we see the faults in others.
    just some food for thought...

    may God bless u and guide u
    :)
  • [quote author=mabsoota link=topic=11915.msg147552#msg147552 date=1321388045]
    elsi (may i shorten yr name?),
    to find a good husband, u need to be a good wife.

    in other words, work hard on yr character and spiritual life, so that u will benefit a 'good' husband if u find one or be able to love and accept a 'bad' husband because u r so close to God.
    of course, no husband or wife is 'good' or 'bad'; we are all somewhere in between. but the more u work on yourself, the more content u will be with whatever situation God puts u in.

    also to have a good friend, u need to be a good friend; to find a good priest, u need to be a good church member etc. etc.
    the more we work on ourselves, the less we see the faults in others.
    just some food for thought...

    may God bless u and guide u
    :)


    mabsoota,

    yes, of course u may shorten my name as it seems u like partiality and not wholesomeness. No problem though I can take it. May I ask u, what does your name mean?
    And yes a virtuous woman is hard to find as well, but what makes u think I am not virtuous?? You know me? No u do not!
    I do not agree that we r somewhere in between, maybe u r.
    GOD would like for us to be either hot or cold. So I think u need to work at that and decide once and for all whether u r hot or cold and let all that 'in between' stuff go.

    I'm on fire mabsoota, and not the earthly fire, this fire cannot be quenched!

    I have very good friends, a very good Priest (actually 3). And yes, I will continue to work at improving myself for GODS Glory!!!
    I find your views very unrealistic......of course there is good and there is bad! There is Holiness and there is Evil some choose to follow Holiness and some choose to follow Evil; have u really decided which u will follow??.....also just some 'food for thought'!

    I hope and pray our Almighty GOD will guide u to His Perfect Truth!!!
  • Elsi70x7,

    In Revelation, our Lord was rebuking the lukewarm church in Laodicea for being neither hot nor cold. In the same sense, we cannot make room in our hearts for both God and the world, because "...I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God..." Exodus 20:5. What mabsoota (meaning happy) was alluding to is that there aren't any perfect or evil (good or bad) husbands or wives. Christian couples strive to be perfect, but because of human weakness, the "in between state" is the only realistic option. We're not angels.

    PS: Be easy on mabsoota. She is our mom on this forum and always has the best advice for everything.

    Now apologize to our mommy, and I'll forget this entire thing.
  • ok, elsi70x7,
    i want to point out that i suggested u become a good wife as a general rule, a general suggestion.
    i did not want to say that u were not a good and kind person.
    in fact, i have been very impressed by yr posts.
    what i was trying to say is that looking for a good husband is not important. when people are working on their character (i am speaking generally here), they meet people quite easily and also make friends. then among yr friends u may find the person who will be yr husband.

    i was thinking of the saints, who, although they were very holy and spent hours every day in prayer and fasting, still considered themselves to be sinners.
    they spent so much time with God that they realised they were much less holy than God Himself.

    as someone who has been married much longer than 10 years, i have found that the less i look for faults in my husband, the happier i am. e.g. if we argue and i think it is 90% his fault and 10% my fault, i still try to apologise first.
    because i struggle with pride, when i think it is 10% my fault, it is probably 50% my fault!

    i am not suggesting that someone looks for a rapist and murderer and say's 'well, no-one's perfect so lets get married'! i am sugesting that if i have a tendency to gossip and my friend has a tendency to waste money, that i work on my sins before i get too busy looking at his sins.

    yes, as Christians it is extremely important for us to seek only a Christian husband or wife, and especially someone who realises they are not perfect yet and who works at their spiritual life. but we should not look for someone really amazing with very few faults because we are unlikely to find that person on this earth.

    thanks for yr coments TITL, but if elsi70x7 felt upset by my post, it is right for her to say that. i appreciate yr concern, but i was not upset.
    may God bless us all and give us peace.
    mabsoota  :)
  • Hi mabsoota,

    Seasons Greetings to u and yours!

    In reading the synaxir, I see that many Saints come from even pagan unions, or maybe the wife is Christian and the husband is pagan, but still they become Saints; so I think the important thing is to have LOVE, which is really lacking inthe world
  • edited September 2014
    Ephesians 5:21-23 is not demonic, but it is patriarchal.  The church is One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic, but not necessarily patriarchal. As Catholics we do know, with the certainty of faith, that the church will always be Catholic and Apostolic, but there is no such divine guarantee for any country, culture or society of this or any age, including patriarchy.  Therefore, it is not heretical to hope and pray for the ordination of women to the priesthood.

    St. John Paul II's "Theology of the Body" is a theological anthropology that transcends both traditional patriarchy and extreme forms of secular feminism.  Via what he calls "the spousal meaning of the human body," it may provide a solid foundation to resolve some vexing issues of human sexuality, including the ordination of women to the priesthood in the Roman Catholic and Eastern Orthodox churches.  Let us pray that all the Christian churches will be able to discern the difference between patriarchal ideology and revealed truths, and act accordingly.

    In Christ,
    Luis

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