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no fun on the weekend?
this last saturday, our father in the church i was at said that the weekend is a fun two day break to many. many will choose to go watch movies go and just have their fun, but few will choose to come to the midnight praises and the tasbeha and sunday school etc. he saisd that we should be from the few people. does that mean that we shouldn't at all go to watch a movie in the theater or go swim or something on the weekend?
Comments
There is nothing wrong with spending times with friends in re-creative places, like going to the park, cycling, shopping (for ladies) swimming, going to the beach (?) etc, but I doubt whether its good or not for a Christian to go to a concert of e.g. Nancy Ajram or any other artist. Personally, I am not really interested in such artists (however I admit that I used to listen to their music and like it), but I still have some doubts. If, for instance, your friends invite u to go with them to a musical or concert, or a premiere of a movie, (e.g. Adel Emam) should u go? Or another good question: if someone is going to marry, and they are going to celebrate it like almost all weddings, in a way like dancing (arabic music), is that normal for a Christian or not?? Or singing aghany, is that allowed and appropriate for a Christian?? I really would like to know that, cause almost every person who celebrates their wedding do this things. And if YOU are going to marry?? Sorry, a lot of questions here..
Further i think u really should think about what kind of places are sinful (disco, clubs) and which not. Some ppl do say: you must ask yourself: "Will Jesus be pleased if I take him to that place, or not?" But I wonder, how should someone interpreter that question, i mean, if u are going to a park or a concert without sinful things .. what will be the answer to that question?
My opinion, as long as you spend enough, fair time with God (read: prayers, Bible,church, etc), then spending times in weekends or vacation in recreation is fine.
And I had another question (sorry Knowledge That Grows). What must you do if your parents ( most ppl know how egyptians parents are) don't let u go to youth meetings or don't let you go to another enjoyable place with your friends? Cause mine are so difficult. I am begging to go to youth meetings for years now (and next year I am going to college and it will be so hard and in summer holiday there are no youth-meetings) and I only went a couple of times. When i ask my dad, he always has another excuse to not let me go: study, bad guys in church, not necessary, etc), while if i go I really enjoy the youth meeting and learn a lot. Also outside church I don't go out with my friends. It's a shame, because every time you're seeing pic's of friends, enjoying a lot of places, and u are just not able to go anywhere. I know that most parents are worried about their sons/ daughters, but OVER PROTECTION at age 18, 5 is really awkward. You are not able to develop yourself and taking your own decisions while u are going to college where u will meet A LOT of different people, so isn't being social and being able to enjoy yourself also important? We are not nun's/ monks?
Gb
if that doesn't work than you should probably think about going to your father of confession, i'm sure he has solutions for you personally.
IDK why, but this page is being displayed upside down where the question is at the bottom and the answers go up. is this normal?
You can change this setting if you go to your profile, and on the left, click on ''look and layout preferences''. Then uncheck the box that says 'show most recent posts at the top'.
That should work :)
My parents aren't so difficult as yours but it differs from my mom to my dad, where my mom is a lil' more. An issue like this, idk, i'm not the best to reply, but i really think that you should talk with them actually act like you don't understand the things you do, as if you are a younger age and and talk telling them stories that happen to you and on and on 'til you get to a point where like in the story it relates to your situation and start telling them why can't i do that, i'm in collage already? and on... i mean like create a conversation with them, u know...
if that doesn't work than you should probably think about going to your father of confession, i'm sure he has solutions for you personally.
Haha, lol! I already tried everything, even my FOC, but unfortunately, nothing really helped yet. Just pray for me.
But parents are more worried about girls, so that;s why,, oh, but are u a girl too or a boy?
thank you Forsaken-Forgiven. Can someone that knows the answer to +Marmar+'s questions, please answer because i have very similar questions!!! thank you in advance... ;D
Yeah, can someone answer my questions?? (Above, 2nd post.. I made them bold) ;D
Yalla ya gama3a, mafeesh 7ad yerod 3ala el as2ila wala eih? :p
bak, so try that for an idea to tell them. the lesson i would get is never to wear a shirt thats almost sleevless, besides, for me, it totally feels awkward to wear clothes that have even a little bit sleeve or that shows a little of my back or that shows anything from my chest or just to wear a short above my knee because i was raised strictly not to wear them.
i also have a question, my dad raised me strictly not to even have a hi relationship with a boy at all!!! and the priests say that i should have relationships with them as just friends, i'm sure you would agree. but now i'm used to not talking to guys at all like its so awkward just for a guy thats my friend from choir or a church activity to greet me with a hand shake and a hi for me to reply or even reply with a handshake. idk y, if i ever started talking to a guy infront of the public, even if he's a family member, in a regular conversation with all my friends with me and all like a group conversation and my dad and mom arent around, i would feel like i've commited a sin. is this fine?
i'm a girl, and no i'm not allowed to go out with my friends and other stuff too like you but like at one time my parents just totally changed, idk if like someone talked to them but they just started treating me like i was married already giving me a lot freedom, their goal was like for me to try doing this or something or wearing this almost sleevless shirt, u know and have myself feel the embarrassment i get into from the looks of the people or the presence of the people or the judgment of the people. i'm starting to sound like abraham lincoln, lol.
bak, so try that for an idea to tell them. the lesson i would get is never to wear a shirt thats almost sleevless, besides, for me, it totally feels awkward to wear clothes that have even a little bit sleeve or that shows a little of my back or that shows anything from my chest or just to wear a short above my knee because i was raised strictly not to wear them.
i also have a question, my dad raised me strictly not to even have a hi relationship with a boy at all!!! and the priests say that i should have relationships with them as just friends, i'm sure you would agree. but now i'm used to not talking to guys at all like its so awkward just for a guy thats my friend from choir or a church activity to greet me with a hand shake and a hi for me to reply or even reply with a handshake. idk y, if i ever started talking to a guy infront of the public, even if he's a family member, in a regular conversation with all my friends with me and all like a group conversation and my dad and mom arent around, i would feel like i've commited a sin. is this fine?
Sorry for my late reply. Firstly, what does " idk" means?
It seems you life in Egypt, in the sa3eed (upper egypt) :P is or not?
It's normal to be friends with guys, as long as you know where your boundaries are. It's also normal to shake hands.
Why do u think that it's a sin to be in a group if your parent's are not around? Do they forbid you? I think, that if u do everything in front of people, just normal, it's better, because if you do something sneaky, in the dark, people will suspect something bad. You know how egyptians are i think.. unfortunately they gossip a lot! If you just hang around with a group, it's fine. Yes, only friends.
It seems you are a very proper girl. It's good that you feel important about wearing decent clothes. In this way, you will be a good example for other girls in your church.
sorry to be asking this but i don't even know what FOC is or who is it? could u tell me?
FOC= Father of confession
There is a difference between going out to these kinds of events, and going to a dirty place such as a strip club or such a place where there is a lot of lust and temptation, and inappropriateness. To be honest, I feel as if *some* priests take it too far and expect you to do nothing except go to church and school and back to home. Is this right? Is this correct? Of course it is not. God expects us to have a balanced life in all we do...and at the centre of our life, should be Christ. Therefore, we should live a life in Christ in all that we do, whether we are going to the mall, or to the movies, or to the concert, or just hanging our with sme friends at a local hangout place. Of course, we have to have discretion in all that we do, with whom we hang out with, what we watch etc. But, to limit ourselves in such a way is at best an Islamic view of living and is not an Apostolic way of living...the Apostles did not limit themselves to certain places. They went about everywhere and they brought Christ with them. That is how we should live as well.
Marmar and Knowledge that Grows, would either of your parents allow you to even hang out with a group of just girls at least?
Guys, or should I say girls?? :) Don't make things so complicated! Listening to songs, going out with friends (to normal places), going to a concert, watching movies, these are all good things. I was never raised to fear or shun these things. As much as my mom always took us to Asheya, Tasbeha, and the Liturgy, we also used to go to movies together, and even we went to a couple arabic performances such as Amro Diab.
There is a difference between going out to these kinds of events, and going to a dirty place such as a strip club or such a place where there is a lot of lust and temptation, and inappropriateness. To be honest, I feel as if *some* priests take it too far and expect you to do nothing except go to church and school and back to home. Is this right? Is this correct? Of course it is not. God expects us to have a balanced life in all we do...and at the centre of our life, should be Christ. Therefore, we should live a life in Christ in all that we do, whether we are going to the mall, or to the movies, or to the concert, or just hanging our with sme friends at a local hangout place. Of course, we have to have discretion in all that we do, with whom we hang out with, what we watch etc. But, to limit ourselves in such a way is at best an Islamic view of living and is not an Apostolic way of living...the Apostles did not limit themselves to certain places. They went about everywhere and they brought Christ with them. That is how we should live as well.
Marmar and Knowledge that Grows, would either of your parents allow you to even hang out with a group of just girls at least?
haha, :)
Thanks for ur reply.
Yes, of course i am allowed to hang out with girls. But mostly in the church, and my dad is so difficult to let me go other places with them. Even if it's just with girls..
Sorry for making it too complicated.
are u going to live away from home when u go to college, coz if so, u r sorted!
find out where the orthodox churches are in that city before you go, maybe even email the priests to find out more about them. get involved with a local Christian group in your college, and make friends on yr course so u have someone to share yr faith with.
i had very few friends before i went away to study and so rarely hung out with people. when i went away, i found loads of Christians and was always out at church or at someone's house on my bicycle, often coming home at 10pm! it was awesome and i made friends from all different countries.
just remember, there are loads of good reasons why we don't go out and get drunk, and if a guy is being very friendly, it might mean more than that! always hang out with a group of people, and when someone starts smoking things that are not cigarettes, it's time to go home.
and until u go to college, speak to your friends on the phone, pray from the agpeya all the time, and, of course, come on this great website and write more awesome posts! :)
u could also make friends with old people at church, maybe your parents won't mind u hanging out with tasoni or some older tant, and u can learn a lot from her too.
as for no youth groups during summer, why not? that's SHOCKING. is God on holiday during the summer or something? ::) call up some other young people and write a letter together to the youth leaders asking for more meetings. u could tell them that each of you will take turns, week by week to share something so they can relax a bit. i think people need more activities in the summer (old people too!) coz they have more time.
and by the way, idk means i don't know.
knowledge that glows,
as for 'having fun', i think church is the most fun thing! :P
other leisure activities are useful in order to make friends with people who are not Christian. always remember you should be an example for them, they are not there for you to learn from their standards of morality.
all films are ok, except those that are really violent or show sex.
ok, that excludes quite a lot of films, but it really doesn't help you to become a better person to see someone's arm hacked off and then their head, or to see what adults get up to when they are naked. you can easily learn enough sex and violence at school (if your school is like mine was), you don't need it on the tv and cinema as well.
i have 2 egyptian movies i bought on dvd, ahlam omrina and halat hub. both are great films, and i would rate them 'parental guidance', ok for age over 12, and younger kids should watch with an adult coz they are just a little scary. i don't see any problem with a Christian watching these movies as they have good messages about family being important, looking after your friends, not being ashamed of where you are from or what social class you are etc.
some comedy is good. some is really racist or all about sex or laughing at how men are really stupid or women are really stupid. so think about what message the comedian is giving. is he just happy with life, or is he really bitter and letting you see how much hate he has inside him?
doing sports is fine, and is very good for you. but check out how much you show in your sports clothes. this includes guys! those lycra shorts that show everything are NOT cool. they tempt girls to bad thoughts and you should show more care for your sisters. girls, no hot pants and cleavages, give the guys a break.
sport should not become more important than church though. if you keep missing Holy Communion for sport, you have got something very wrong. winning races won't get you to heaven! ;)
as for weddings, i have danced at weddings, but the more arabic dancing i see, the more i worry it's a bit sexy. i think a bit of dancing is ok, but if everyone is looking at u coz you're really good at it, it's time to sit down. i never have this problem ;) this is just my opinion, i'm not sure abouna would agree. i do think the combination of showing your cleavage/butt shape AND dancing is too much. you may be a young, innocent virgin, but you need to know that it's just this type of innocent person shaking their butt that tempts older guys to sinful thoughts. have some care for your brothers/sisters and don't tempt them.
i hope this helps, and i wish i had so much time on my hands to do all this at the weekend! ;)
and marmar, thanx for the FOC meaning
marmar, sounds tough. but not long to go, it gets better as u get older.
are u going to live away from home when u go to college, coz if so, u r sorted!
find out where the orthodox churches are in that city before you go, maybe even email the priests to find out more about them. get involved with a local Christian group in your college, and make friends on yr course so u have someone to share yr faith with.
i had very few friends before i went away to study and so rarely hung out with people. when i went away, i found loads of Christians and was always out at church or at someone's house on my bicycle, often coming home at 10pm! it was awesome and i made friends from all different countries.
just remember, there are loads of good reasons why we don't go out and get drunk, and if a guy is being very friendly, it might mean more than that! always hang out with a group of people, and when someone starts smoking things that are not cigarettes, it's time to go home.
and until u go to college, speak to your friends on the phone, pray from the agpeya all the time, and, of course, come on this great website and write more awesome posts! :)
u could also make friends with old people at church, maybe your parents won't mind u hanging out with tasoni or some older tant, and u can learn a lot from her too.
as for no youth groups during summer, why not? that's SHOCKING. is God on holiday during the summer or something? ::) call up some other young people and write a letter together to the youth leaders asking for more meetings. u could tell them that each of you will take turns, week by week to share something so they can relax a bit. i think people need more activities in the summer (old people too!) coz they have more time.
and by the way, idk means i don't know.
knowledge that glows,
as for 'having fun', i think church is the most fun thing! :P
other leisure activities are useful in order to make friends with people who are not Christian. always remember you should be an example for them, they are not there for you to learn from their standards of morality.
all films are ok, except those that are really violent or show sex.
ok, that excludes quite a lot of films, but it really doesn't help you to become a better person to see someone's arm hacked off and then their head, or to see what adults get up to when they are naked. you can easily learn enough sex and violence at school (if your school is like mine was), you don't need it on the tv and cinema as well.
i have 2 egyptian movies i bought on dvd, ahlam omrina and halat hub. both are great films, and i would rate them 'parental guidance', ok for age over 12, and younger kids should watch with an adult coz they are just a little scary. i don't see any problem with a Christian watching these movies as they have good messages about family being important, looking after your friends, not being ashamed of where you are from or what social class you are etc.
some comedy is good. some is really racist or all about sex or laughing at how men are really stupid or women are really stupid. so think about what message the comedian is giving. is he just happy with life, or is he really bitter and letting you see how much hate he has inside him?
doing sports is fine, and is very good for you. but check out how much you show in your sports clothes. this includes guys! those lycra shorts that show everything are NOT cool. they tempt girls to bad thoughts and you should show more care for your sisters. girls, no hot pants and cleavages, give the guys a break.
sport should not become more important than church though. if you keep missing Holy Communion for sport, you have got something very wrong. winning races won't get you to heaven! ;)
as for weddings, i have danced at weddings, but the more arabic dancing i see, the more i worry it's a bit sexy. i think a bit of dancing is ok, but if everyone is looking at u coz you're really good at it, it's time to sit down. i never have this problem ;) this is just my opinion, i'm not sure abouna would agree. i do think the combination of showing your cleavage/butt shape AND dancing is too much. you may be a young, innocent virgin, but you need to know that it's just this type of innocent person shaking their butt that tempts older guys to sinful thoughts. have some care for your brothers/sisters and don't tempt them.
i hope this helps, and i wish i had so much time on my hands to do all this at the weekend! ;)
thank u mabsoota for ur nice answer!
Nah, I am not going to live away from home when i go to college.. my dad wouldnt even agree!
there are no youthmeethings in summer holiday, that's the point ;p and whilie the schooldays, I can not go.
God Bless you
agree some extended boundaries, like agreeing to meetings in the church.
maybe there are some youth leaders or a priest who could speak to your dad?
ask them frankly what they are worried about. it's embarassing but u have to.
i will never forget the time i was trying to discuss something with my family and i got the panic response 'you're not pregnant are you?' i was so shocked that someone so close to me could think that was possible! i hadn't even held hands with a guy let alone anything else!
so just reassure them that u would tell them if u were getting into a romantic relationship, that your studies are very important to you right now, so you're not even looking for that and ask them what are the things that bother them.
explain that we are all called by God to share our faith, and that that is really difficult without meeting people on a friendship level. offer to do things for them too, so that you become more like partners in the house and all contribute equally.
so, wash the dishes, cook some meals, help yr dad with the car and painting the house if you're into that sort of thing (i was), agree to look after irritating younger siblings if you have any, and generally show them how mature and ready for responsibility you are.
i have lots of egyptian/sudanese friends so i understand the cultural issues, and i actually think many european-origin families could take some tips from them (i have heard of mothers and daughters going to night clubs together to look for boyfriends, u would really rather have an egyptian mum than that!).
about no youth meetings, have you asked loads of people in church about it (until they get a bit tired of asking)? also suggest something young people can do together without formal leadership (i believe that at age 16 or at least 18 you are adults) as you are old enough to do that. maybe you have a deacon or senior reader who could supervise Bible study and you could do community work together over the summer.
Eg. many parents of seriously disabled children don't have anyone to help them over school holidays, so you could arrange to visit them, and just sit with the kid in the wheelchair while mum makes dinner, or give some other simple but badly needed help.
Old people need company too, and maybe someone to walk their dogs, there is so much to do.
Maybe you can spend your free time setting up a community project where the church reaches out to the general community around you.
if none of this works, keep asking us here and we will try to help more.
oh dear, so u will have to have serious chat with them.
agree some extended boundaries, like agreeing to meetings in the church.
maybe there are some youth leaders or a priest who could speak to your dad?
ask them frankly what they are worried about. it's embarassing but u have to.
i will never forget the time i was trying to discuss something with my family and i got the panic response 'you're not pregnant are you?' i was so shocked that someone so close to me could think that was possible! i hadn't even held hands with a guy let alone anything else!
so just reassure them that u would tell them if u were getting into a romantic relationship, that your studies are very important to you right now, so you're not even looking for that and ask them what are the things that bother them.
explain that we are all called by God to share our faith, and that that is really difficult without meeting people on a friendship level. offer to do things for them too, so that you become more like partners in the house and all contribute equally.
so, wash the dishes, cook some meals, help yr dad with the car and painting the house if you're into that sort of thing (i was), agree to look after irritating younger siblings if you have any, and generally show them how mature and ready for responsibility you are.
i have lots of egyptian/sudanese friends so i understand the cultural issues, and i actually think many european-origin families could take some tips from them (i have heard of mothers and daughters going to night clubs together to look for boyfriends, u would really rather have an egyptian mum than that!).
about no youth meetings, have you asked loads of people in church about it (until they get a bit tired of asking)? also suggest something young people can do together without formal leadership (i believe that at age 16 or at least 18 you are adults) as you are old enough to do that. maybe you have a deacon or senior reader who could supervise Bible study and you could do community work together over the summer.
Eg. many parents of seriously disabled children don't have anyone to help them over school holidays, so you could arrange to visit them, and just sit with the kid in the wheelchair while mum makes dinner, or give some other simple but badly needed help.
Old people need company too, and maybe someone to walk their dogs, there is so much to do.
Maybe you can spend your free time setting up a community project where the church reaches out to the general community around you.
if none of this works, keep asking us here and we will try to help more.
Thanks a lot. The priests already talked to my dad, but not really much changed. Anyway ,thank u so much for your nice idea's :D Keep on praying for me pls and God bless u
Our priest stresses in our church more on not Throwing parties, wedding receptions, or gettogethers or anything Saturday night. Regrettably, everything continues to happen saturday night.
As for not going, he doesn't tell the congregation not to attend those things as much as he tells the servants. There are many kids that need taking care of on Saturday night, those who are too young to attend a hymns class, and those who are in a hymns class. They all require servants, and that sometimes Abouna finds himself alone.
When he says it, he says it in a way that makes you feel sorry for what you did. He isn't yelling at/punishing us, but you feel like you have sinned by leaving Abouna - so innocent and good - alone, even though you have a service. That feeling alone pushes you not to go again