The past month was great for me; in a sense. It would probably be bad for other people, but for me, it was great. I was feeling very depressed, delusional, and basically, manic. But, it is due to this that I started returning to Church, and began praying everyday. I felt that this prayer really and truly helped me; I finally was able to let go many of my fears and insecurities and not worry about many worldly things; I gained true confidence, and happiness; although some of the delusions still remained.
Then, a week a ago, I sinned; I felt that I had lost everything I had strived for in the past month. Still I prayed, every day; to find the contentness I had once had; but I just can not find it. I feel like I'm losing hope! I feel like when I pray I can't say what it is I really want to say. I pray for God to give me the strength to return to trusting fully in him, but it doesn't feel like thats happening. I feel like my fears have returned, and my insecurities as well. This basically puts me in a real slump :/
Forgive me my arrogance/pride/weakness.