I really need help, I feel like I can't cope anymore,

edited December 1969 in Personal Issues
Hi All,
I hesitated a lot before I placed this topic, but I really feel that i need help.
I'm going through a very hard time in my life & I do not know what to do. I have been praying about my problem every day for almost 3 years now, but I feel that there is no response from God. I really want to get married, but unfortunately there is no one in my church to get married to, I proposed twice to two girls but both of them rejected me which makes me feel that maybe I'm less attractive than the other guys or something. All my friends in my age got married already, & I feel that I'm the only one that is single. I always had this dream of getting married to a girl that will understand me & will spend the rest of her life with me, but I started feeling that this dream will never ever become true. My parents suggested that I immigrate to another country & transfer my job so that I can have more opportunities to get married, but I don't know whether to take this decision or not. Maybe my parents are right & maybe they're wrong, I don't know. I know that God is working & he is choosing the best for me, but I sometimes feel that my faith is very weak & that I don't trust that God is doing the best for me. Please let me know your opinion, & sorry for the long topic.

God bless

Comments

  • Pope Shounoda said that God is listening but the respond will be in the perfect time so it could be right away and  it couldn't so just keep praying
    plz pray for me
  • I think you shouldnt worry about it. God has perfect timing & a perfect will for you...so really just dont worry about it.
    You have to trust God and know that He is taking care of you & that He has a perfect future for u. Wait on the Lord.=]

    " For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. " Jeremiah 29:11

    " Then the word of the LORD came to me, saying: “O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter?” says the LORD. Look, as the clay is in the potter’s hand, so are you in My hand, O house of Israel!" Jeremiah 18:5-6



  • thanks very much for the replies
  • God does have perfect timing. He knows what's best for us and it's difficult for us to understand what he has in mind and his timing. He knows whats ahead of us while we just go through life step by step. Marriage is a beautiful gift from God but so are your single years. Yes its the time in your life to search for someone and go through that shift in your life but take an advantage of your single years to work on yourself and your relationship with God. Work on making yourself better and better, both spiritually as well as your virtues, etc. Focus on what God wants you to do and you will find the right person in front of you, through God's grace. Don't worry too much and spend so much time searching. God will bless you.
  • Thanks very much Christine, mmm..........I feel quite worried, I don't know why  :-[
  • I've had several family members who weren't married until their mid to late 30s, and they're as happy as can be right now. God works in mysterious ways. The right person may come into your life out of nowhere, if that's what he wants for you.
  • [quote author=baladoos link=topic=9494.msg117000#msg117000 date=1279974924]
    Hi All,
    I hesitated a lot before I placed this topic, but I really feel that i need help.
    I'm going through a very hard time in my life & I do not know what to do. I have been praying about my problem every day for almost 3 years now, but I feel that there is no response from God. I really want to get married, but unfortunately there is no one in my church to get married to, I proposed twice to two girls but both of them rejected me which makes me feel that maybe I'm less attractive than the other guys or something. All my friends in my age got married already, & I feel that I'm the only one that is single. I always had this dream of getting married to a girl that will understand me & will spend the rest of her life with me, but I started feeling that this dream will never ever become true. My parents suggested that I immigrate to another country & transfer my job so that I can have more opportunities to get married, but I don't know whether to take this decision or not. Maybe my parents are right & maybe they're wrong, I don't know. I know that God is working & he is choosing the best for me, but I sometimes feel that my faith is very weak & that I don't trust that God is doing the best for me. Please let me know your opinion, & sorry for the long topic.

    God bless


    Hany,

    Stop this behaviour right now. You will come across as desperate to any woman, and that will ruin your self esteem.

    Its going to happen one day. You are not married yet because you haven't found the right one. When you do, you will get married. I go to a Church here where there are so many beautiful girls, stunning, and there are NO guys. ZERO.
    The girls go to Church, they pray, they look so cute, they are single and all their friends at school have bf's etc.. but they don't look desperate. They enjoy life... they run their own businesses, they love life..

    Each year, there's a European Youth Convention which they always attend. Why don't you attend this???

    Anba Angaelos runs it every year. Its usually in August. Yalla, save up and buy the plane ticket. You just need to be European. Its VERY easy to be European:

    Here are a few steps on how to be European (if you are from Egypt or North America, or the UK (I dont believe that UK is part of Europe.. its more like the 51st state of America):

    a) Dress smart casual - no sneekers (even if u wear jeans)
    b) You must find a european country and church you can be part of? I recommend sweden
    c) You must not say you are from America or ANYWHERE else.. it will be SO obvious you have come to find a wife so everyone will be scared of you. Therefore, its best to pretend you are swedish also.

    Its VERY simple - you just need to say you love beer and IKEA.

    lol.. im kidding hany. I lived in sweden for a bit, and they do love IKEA, but its only for students.
  • Pray for me please, I really need all your prayers
  • rabena ma3ak. You're in my prayers. I've seen friends go through similar situations and I know you're not having an easy time...just try to have faith that God will do what is best and that he loves you and wants you to be happy. I'm sure you'll look back on this someday and laugh :-)

    Pray for me.
  • As we grow older we will discover that we are often faced with feeling that our most heartfelt desires are not fulfilled, and we will pray, 'Why Lord?'.

    But in this case as in all the future cases, it is often that the Lord is testing us, and asking us, 'What is most important to you?'.

    What if we never married? What if we never had a top job? What if we didn't get top grades in our studies? What if everything we hoped for never happened?

    What then? Would we be people who deserved sympathy more than anyone else? Or would we be people who were more greatly blessed because having only Christ? Marriage must not be a substitute for knowing Christ. A good job, good grades, being popular and successful, must not be a substitute for knowing Christ.

    If we know Christ and are known by Him then we have everything. My own life is not a success story. I have not achieved or received those things I hoped and dreamed of when I was 20 years old. But while I lack almost everything that even I thought was important, and which remain important, I have had to rely on God, and only on God. These are very hard lessons. But while I am poor, I discover I am rich. While I am lonely, I discover I am never alone. While I am weak, I discover that He makes me strong.

    All that matters, all that ever matters, is that we know Christ and that His presence by the Holy Spirit fills our hearts. There is nothing wrong in offering God our tears, our pains and sorrows. But to know Christ is a greater treasure than all others and to be comforted by the Holy Spirit, the Comforter, is a greater comfort than all others.

    Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added unto you.

    May the Lord grant you peace

    Father Peter
  • Thanks Fr Peter for these words of wisdom. They are of much comfort. I think this is one of the biggest struggle young adults and teens face.
  • very clear words. father peter  :)

    maybe for some it sounds hard to give everything to God, even to accept not to be married or not to have children, but remember u r just accepting not to be married for now, it could change later.
    or, if like me, u don't have children (i was sure i would have them when i was young), remember u can have spiritual children, those whose lives u touch with the message of God's love.

    the 2 most inspirational teachers in my current church are a couple in their 50s with no children. they are amazing and full of love for God and full of wisdom. they have hundreds of spiritual children because they teach children and sunday school teachers.

    also 2 of my close single friends have decided to dedicate their whole lives to God and not to make any attempt to find someone to marry (they are not monks, eg they may get married when they are quite old but not now) and they are very happy and fulfilled and God gives them many opportunities to teach others (by their lives and words) about Him. they also have jobs, friends etc, they are normal people, just they are happily single at a time when their friends of the same age are married.

    so putting God first really works, it's just hard at first, but u will get used to putting aside your desires and u will then be full of God.
    may God guide u and give u peace.
  • I really really like these words Mabsoota, May God reward you for your help
  • don't change your life and leave your loved ones just to go get married ... remember god has a plan for everyone alive .. just put your self in god's hand .
  • I think God is working, and while you wait you should focus on bettering yourself. It can be a blessing because you will have a stronger relationship with God and that will help you in your future.. God is waiting for you to be ready! :)

    God bless you and keep you.

    -mary
  • hey just came across this post.. although its a bit late.. i thought id share something that might help u feel better baladoos :)

    just something that was sent to me in my email. Here it is, hope this is comforting.
    pray for me,
    Enough

    [center][/center]Perfect Love


    Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone, To have a deep soul relationship with another, To be loved thoroughly and exclusively, But God to a Christian says: "No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled, and content With giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me, With having an intensely personal and unique Relation with Me alone, Discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found,

    Will you be capable of the perfect relationship That I have planned for you. You will never be united With another until you are united with Me, Exclusive of any other desires or longings. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, And allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing One that you cannot imagine.

    I want you to have the best. Please allow Me to give it to you. You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things; Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I AM; Keep listening and learning the things that I tell you. You just wait, Do not be anxious, do not worry,

    Do not look at the things you want; You just keep looking off and the way up to Me Or you will miss what I want to show you. the one I have for you is ready (I am working even at this moment to Have both ready at the same time),

    Until you are both satsisfied exclusively With ME and the life that I have prepared for you, You will not be able to experience the love that exemplifies Your relationship with Me, And this is the Perfect Love. And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your Relationship with Me, and to enjoy Materially and concretely, The everlasting union of beauty, perfectness, And love that I offer you with Myself. Know that I love you utterly. I am God. Believe, and be satisfied."

  • Thanks very much for this nice post, it really helped me so much.
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