My friend is refusing to confess help me convince him to go to confession.

edited December 1969 in Faith Issues
Please help me he is my best friend from my own church and he is refusing to confess. I have told him if u dont confess you will brn up in hell. Please help me convence him because I cant do this alone. Give me bible verses, saint sayings, anything to get him to confess and so he makes it a habit. Please help. :'(
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  • Theologically there is a lot to talk about. Since I have to sleep soon, I will substantiate this another time:
    - Before sacrificing animals, the Israelites had to confess their sins to the priest
    - When people came to John the Baptist, they had to confess their sins and then get baptised
    - In the early church, confession was public before catechumens and other people could come to the church
    - James says if we are sick, that confession is part of the healing process
    - John in his epistles says if we confess our sins, He is righteous to cleanse us from all unrighteousness
    - confess in the Bible is homo-logia, that means to "say to the same", that is confession must be to a person (the same), not to God (as important as that is, as humbling oneself)
    - it is the priests that God has given a special grace to remit and forgive sins, as we see when Christ came after the Resurrection and breathed onto the disciples and said just this
    - "He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy." Pr 28:13.
  • Thank you clay i will be seeing him tonite and i will discuss this with him. but sadly saten has hardened his heart and i am afraid he does not belev so i hope and pray for more topics and things that will force him to confess. :-\

    God bless
  • just remember also that god hardened pharaoh's heart and things worked out for the best of the best. maybe god hardened his heart so things can work out for the best of the best  ;)

    pray for me
  • thank you crazy4christ1 i do understand it may come out to the best but i am afraid that he does not go to heaven he has not answered any fone call or text and hasent come 2 church in a wile 
    please pray 4 him so he repents please. :'(
  • we pray for yr friend.
    u know, the way u care for yr friend and pray for him, is the way God cares for all those who are going wrong in life.
    so God knows and loves yr tears. He also loves yr friend more than u do.
    so u are doing the right thing. the rest is in God's hands.
    all i add is that u keep in touch with yr friend and if he wants to meet u to go shopping or something else that is not going to church, that u should still spend time with him and show him u are a true friend. obviously don't go out drinking etc but be willing to hang out with him outside of church time so he knows u really care. maybe then he will be honest with u and tell u his problems and why he doesn't come to church.

    of course, if u find he is a bad influence on u, instead of u being a good influence on him, then don't spend so much time with him.
    but if u pray for him and are a good friend, then leave the rest to God. we can't make people do what they don't want to, we can just show them the way and show them how we walk in the right path by being caring and interesting, and also by staying pure and living the Christian life.
    may God help us to be a good light to those around us.
  • I have to disagree with the notion of "if a person doesn't confess his/her sin to a preist, he/she will go to hell". That is wrong. Because, a person can directly confess to Jesus Christ, the true priestly king who is a wonderful confessor and counselor. Preists are counselors, mentors, and advisors. This is because most of the time they have advanced knowledge of the spiritual matter and the war between human beings and the forces of the darkness. But, that doesn't mean preists know all the sins a person commits; it doesn't mean the person has the knowledge about all the sins he/she has committed either. It is only the Holy Spirit that knows it all. A person should not be obliged to tell his/her sins to a preist unless he/she feels like consulting a preist about the sin; especially a sin that he/she is trapped in and couldn't understand how to get out of it. In that case, with lots of probings and discussions, he and his preist may come to a better understanding of the problem; in other words, the person will be able to reflect on his/her personal problems more objectively and strongly. He/She will be able to scrutinize the root causes of the sin. However, it will be a complete blasphemy to think that he/she cannot go through the same process with the Holy Spirit. I say that because I do have an experience in which I encountered a spiritual crisis that I couldn't understand the cause of, and I knew that no human being, including me, can figure out what was going on unless the Holy Spirit interfers. And thanks to the Lord, I am figuring it out. I pray, I reflect on my actions, and I ask Christ, the true preist, to help me understand the roots of my spiritual weakness; and I get a deeper understanding of it all. I couldn't have done that with any human being; unless of course that human being is such a saint that he/she can see what is bothering me eventhogh I couldn't verbalize it clearly for myself. But, does that mean I don't go to a preist to ask for a spiritual advice at all? Of course Not! For example, I ask about how to fast and how to fight the things that bother me frequently.

    I know that my experience is not the best experience to be cited as an example; but it is all I can talk about to make my point clear.

    So, I suggest that Christians do not make others  believe that preists are given much more spiritual power, responsibility, and knowledge than they actually are given. Their role is huge; however, what they can't do is more than that. Remember, we can confess to the Holy Spirit. After all, it is ultimately the Holy Spirit, and not the preist, that purifies our spirit.

    It is good to read the story of the tax collector:

    9To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable: 10"Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11The Pharisee stood up and prayed about[a] himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. 12I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.'
    13"But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.'   14"I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."


    There is no preist involved here. And, Jesus didn't suggest that anything will change after He dies.


    It is also good to remember what He said to the samaritan woman : "Believe me, woman, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. 22You Samaritans worship what you do not know; we worship what we do know, for salvation is from the Jews. 23Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. 24God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth."  That is all God needs- truth and spirit. If we are truthful to the best of our knowledge, the Spirit is with us. A preist cannot confirm that. After all, we can decieve the preist and ourselves, can't we? 

    I am not preachig protestantism here. The protestants try to rob Christians of their spiritualJewels; Christians shouldn't leave it for them. Instead, they should claim it back! Confessing to Jesus Christ/the Holy Spirit or to a preist is both possible, and it all depends on the actual situation. That is all ours. And we didn't get it for free. Jesus Christ had to die to make all the options possible for us!

    Peace adn Love!
    Sheba
  • Sheba,
    Your statement is an opinion. It is not what the church teaches. In the coptic church, confession is a sacrament. A sacrament requires the power of the Holy Spirit. The type of power/gift of the Holy Spirit we seek in a sacrament has been bestowed upon the priest. Im sure you can recall the verse " If you forgive the sins of any they wil be forgiven. If you retain the sins of any they will be retained." This was said by Christ to the disciples, who in turn passed on this power to Church fathers, not laymen like you(if you're not a priest, bishop, or pope) and me.

    If you are coptic, please take this debate to a sunday school teacher or someone of the likes. If you debate this with a priest, you'll probably think they're bias.
  • Dear Davidschanter,

    I guess we can respectfully disagree on this topic. In the Ethiopian Tewahedo belief, Confession is one of the 7 sacraments of the church. But, it is not implemented the way you said. There are ofcourse some Ethiopian Christians who think confession is to the preist, and to the preist only. However, this is not the way true church fathers teach. It is not my opinion; it is God's truth. When God said what you quoted to the disciples, He didn't mean that grace is only given to preists. The "laymen" also are entitled to preisthood; they are preists and preistesses. All that is given to the disciples works to everyone, as long as that person is devoted and worthy enough to study, practice, and teach spirituality. The only difference between a preist and a "lay man" is that the preist has accepted the responsibility, infront of God's congregation, to mentor, consult and nurture God's sheep. That is his vow on the ordination. From that moment on, he/she is held accountable by God. But, he is accountable for mentoring, helping christians confess, or teaching doesn't mean others are not allowed to do the job. It only means that they can choose to remain "laymen" and won't be penalized for that.

    FYI, in the Ethiopian church, there are many laymen, including women saints, who consulted, served as confessors, and praised the lord with Cherubium and Suraphim infront of the heavenly throne of the Lord- I hope you know what these angels do infront of God is a heavenly liturgy; laymen have taken part in that. That is because everyone is a preist and a king just like Jesus Christ; and that is what Reveletion 20:6 tells us:

    6Blessed and holy are those who have part in the first resurrection. The second death has no power over them, but they will be priests of God and of Christ and will reign with him for a thousand years.

    I hope you do understand that the first resurrection refers to this life we live on earth as Christians; and not a life that we will live after Christ second advent or any other future event. Note also that this is not told only to the disciples, but to all who believe in the Lord.

    Peace and Love!
    Sheba
  • [quote author=Sheba link=topic=9347.msg115463#msg115463 date=1276470602]
    I have to disagree with the notion of "if a person doesn't confess his/her sin to a preist, he/she will go to hell". That is wrong. Because, a person can directly confess to Jesus Christ, the true priestly king who is a wonderful confessor and counselor. Preists are counselors, mentors, and advisors. This is because most of the time they have advanced knowledge of the spiritual matter and the war between human beings and the forces of the darkness. But, that doesn't mean preists know all the sins a person commits; it doesn't mean the person has the knowledge about all the sins he/she has committed either. It is only the Holy Spirit that knows it all. A person should not be obliged to tell his/her sins to a preist unless he/she feels like consulting a preist about the sin; especially a sin that he/she is trapped in and couldn't understand how to get out of it. In that case, with lots of probings and discussions, he and his preist may come to a better understanding of the problem; in other words, the person will be able to reflect on his/her personal problems more objectively and strongly. He/She will be able to scrutinize the root causes of the sin. However, it will be a complete blasphemy to think that he/she cannot go through the same process with the Holy Spirit. I say that because I do have an experience in which I encountered a spiritual crisis that I couldn't understand the cause of, and I knew that no human being, including me, can figure out what was going on unless the Holy Spirit interfers. And thanks to the Lord, I am figuring it out. I pray, I reflect on my actions, and I ask Christ, the true preist, to help me understand the roots of my spiritual weakness; and I get a deeper understanding of it all. I couldn't have done that with any human being; unless of course that human being is such a saint that he/she can see what is bothering me eventhogh I couldn't verbalize it clearly for myself. But, does that mean I don't go to a preist to ask for a spiritual advice at all? Of course Not! For example, I ask about how to fast and how to fight the things that bother me frequently.

    I know that my experience is not the best experience to be cited as an example; but it is all I can talk about to make my point clear.

    So, I suggest that Christians do not make others  believe that preists are given much more spiritual power, responsibility, and knowledge than they actually are given. Their role is huge; however, what they can't do is more than that. Remember, we can confess to the Holy Spirit. After all, it is ultimately the Holy Spirit, and not the preist, that purifies our spirit.

    It is good to read the story of the tax collector:

    9To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable: 10"Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11The Pharisee stood up and prayed about[a] himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. 12I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.'
    13"But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.'   14"I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."


    There is no preist involved here. And, Jesus didn't suggest that anything will change after He dies.


    It is also good to remember what He said to the samaritan woman : "Believe me, woman, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. 22You Samaritans worship what you do not know; we worship what we do know, for salvation is from the Jews. 23Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. 24God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth."  That is all God needs- truth and spirit. If we are truthful to the best of our knowledge, the Spirit is with us. A preist cannot confirm that. After all, we can decieve the preist and ourselves, can't we? 

    I am not preachig protestantism here. The protestants try to rob Christians of their spiritualJewels; Christians shouldn't leave it for them. Instead, they should claim it back! Confessing to Jesus Christ/the Holy Spirit or to a preist is both possible, and it all depends on the actual situation. That is all ours. And we didn't get it for free. Jesus Christ had to die to make all the options possible for us!

    Peace adn Love!
    Sheba


    Hi Sheba,

    YOU ARE PREACHING PROTESTANTISM.

    Here is why:

    If a mother has a baby, and that baby is about to die, and has no other option but to baptise that child herself, is that accepted? Yes it is accepted. But does that mean we do not need priests nor baptism? Not at all.

    This particular situation is NOT the same example as above. This particular situation is where someone is refusing to confess. They have the doors for repentance and salvation open to them, and they are refusing it. This is a huge problem.

    If I were to ask that person why they are refusing to confess to a priest, and they say: "I do not believe in priesthood" - its a sin, because this is what Christ ordained.
    If they said: "I do not believe in confessing to a man" - this protestantism, and they are rejecting the the Graces given to us through Confession. Before eating or sacrificing any animal, the jews had to confess their sins. Its in the old testament.

    If someone has the options open for them, yet rejects them, this is a serious matter.

    If someone could NOT at all go to confession, or confess to a priest and yet confessed to someone else with a contrite heart and was remorseful, and he had to do it because, let's say for arguments sake, he was about to die, then I do believe this is a confession.

    Christ instituted the sacrament of confession. It wasn't a small little passage in the Bible where this happened, but rather on the christening of our Church. The apostles were given a mandate to become the bishops of the Church that Christ established. We are all members in the same body of Christ. If someone is sinning, they are suffering; the entire Church prays for them. This is very important. It is extremely arrogant to go and just confess your sins to God, and not to a priest. You committed the sin before the Lord in the secrecy of your heart, and you STILL did it. Because our Father in heaven hates sin so much and hates to see you suffering, a remedy is to bring the reality of what is in your heart in the open. To expose it. Its important.

    The priest at the end of any confession says "God absolve your sins".

    To have this path open for you, and to reject it, you have not yet confessed the sin and if PRIDE is what is keeping you from confessing the sin to a priest, then you will be condemned for that. Its no laughing matter.
  • Hello Zoxasi,

    You are absolutely right! If it is PRIDE that prevents me from confessing to a preist, that is a sin and complete arrogance. But, I may choose not to confess, or consult the preist about it, for example, simply because it may be something the preist cannot understand. There are many cases preists may not understand what a person is talking about. The preist may not appreciate the depth of the problem; man is not all-knowing. This is obvious.

    I mentioned to you the example of the tax collector above. Again, imagine the case of Peter. Did he confess anything to anyone when he regretted betraying the Lord on that night? NO! He genuinely confessed, and cried his heart out! That is what we call worshipping in spirit and in truth. What if Peter came in our times and confessed that to two preists? One may take it seriously and tell him to fast, pray and cry for weeks. Another may think it is better to sooth him and let him know that no one is perfect and he will grow out of such fear.... just dissovling it away. Are we saying Peter is forgiven by either means? If so, is it the case that all Peter needs is to "let somebody know"? How about the things he feels deep inside? How about the roots of the problem Peter himself couldn't trace? What if he doesn't feel like it is a matter of common imperfection and wants to cry for a year? Are we saying he is arrogant? Are we saying he is going againist the "ORDER" of his preist? That doesn't make sense by any means; because Christians are preists and Kings; they need someone to nurture them, not to make them bow for their authority. And definitly, the deciples are not ordained to count each and everything a person does daily. Afterall, they are human beings and they should not be introduced to each and everything sin on earth through other people. This is a huge temptation to them; and this is a bad practice taken from the catholic church which instituted obligatory confession to a preist so that survelillence on the ppopulation becomes easier. You should know that this was pushed by the Romans on Africa so that their preists can control people; and that is a clearly documented fact. Preists are servants, and they are not authority. Everyone who believes Jesus is the son of God has the key to heaven in his hands; because that person is THE ROCK on which a church is constructed. he is the church, the preist, and the believer in it. That is what we mean by the order of Melchi Zedek. Christ instituted completee spiritual fulfillment to the individual, and didn't want anyone to be under the yoke of any one else. The authority of preists as it is misunderstood today is the result of the interpretation of early Catholics who wanted to institutionalize preistehood in Rome in the name of Peter. That was the contageuous disease they got from their pre-Christian government system. after Christianity, they wanted to reign over the world through their cardinals and bishops. Afterall, isn't this the very BASIC reason we separated from the Romans? Do you think it was miaphysism-diaphysism issue? No! That was hairsplitting created to cover the real cause.

    Let us see what the Lord said regarding the authority of servants to the disciples:

    25Jesus said to them, "The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them; and those who exercise authority over them call themselves Benefactors. 26But you are not to be like that. Instead, the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves. 27For who is greater, the one who is at the table or the one who serves? Is it not the one who is at the table? But I am among you as one who serves.

    Preisthood, the way many Orthodoxes imagine it, is a belief that resembles the kings of the gentiles ruling over their people; and that practice is instituted in Rome; not in the bible. Obviusly, African Christians have long been influenced by the Roman way of thinking. It  is now time to think clear. Use preists as far as they can help you, travel the rest of the road with the Holy Spirit. Do not suffer under the bondage of statusquo and authority.Preisthood isn't made by Jesus to be that.

    Peace and Love!
    Sheba
  • hi all thank you for your comments please keep posting them,
    p.s the church created the sacrament of confession for a reason
    because
    1. when you confess 2 god it is not embarrassing so u redo the sin
    2.When you confess to god he will not just pop out of no where and help you
    3.Abuna has wisdim and will be able to help you
    4.god gave you free will so he wont and cant stop u from the sin you are doing by force, abuna can monitor you,call you daily,help you and make sure you  don't return to the sin.
    =)
  • [quote author=Sheba link=topic=9347.msg115463#msg115463 date=1276470602]
    I have to disagree with the notion of "if a person doesn't confess his/her sin to a preist, he/she will go to hell". That is wrong. Because, a person can directly confess to Jesus Christ, the true priestly king who is a wonderful confessor and counselor. Preists are counselors, mentors, and advisors. This is because most of the time they have advanced knowledge of the spiritual matter and the war between human beings and the forces of the darkness. But, that doesn't mean preists know all the sins a person commits; it doesn't mean the person has the knowledge about all the sins he/she has committed either. It is only the Holy Spirit that knows it all. A person should not be obliged to tell his/her sins to a preist unless he/she feels like consulting a preist about the sin; especially a sin that he/she is trapped in and couldn't understand how to get out of it. In that case, with lots of probings and discussions, he and his preist may come to a better understanding of the problem; in other words, the person will be able to reflect on his/her personal problems more objectively and strongly. He/She will be able to scrutinize the root causes of the sin. However, it will be a complete blasphemy to think that he/she cannot go through the same process with the Holy Spirit.


    Sheba, I agree with DShanter,you are only stating your own opinion.You write a lot of erroneous stuff .It is important that you separate facts or fundamental Orthodox teaching from your own opinions.The teachings of the Orthodox faith including the ethiopian Tewehado faith is only a click away and here is an excerpt on the sacramanet of confession.Please read it through and correct your understanding.You may also wish to have a look at HH Pope Shenouda's book on Priesthood.

    http://www.ethiopianorthodox.org/english/dogma/sacarapenance.html
    There are two audible sings in this sacrament:
    (1) The confession of the penitent to the priest, True confession stands in:
    1. Repentance and sorrow for the sins committed. “Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out” (Acts 3:19)
    2. Resolution not to return to those sins. When the prodigal son returned to his father he was at once pardoned and accepted because the father was sure that he would not return to that far country.
    3. Faith in the mercy and forgiveness of God. Every one that came to the Lord while on earth asking for mercy used to hear this cheerful message “thy sins be forgiven thee” because of his faith in Him, or at least, the faith of those who brought him to the Lord.
    4. Confessing sins to the priest, especially those which have the mastery over the sinner. The reason for confessing sins to the priest are:
    - In order to get through him absolution from all his sins.
    - In order that the penitent can get his spiritual advice as to the way to conquer his temptations and lead the holy life.
    (2) The words of absolution spoken by the priest over the penitent. The sacrament of penance is called a spiritual medicine. And the priest is considered a spiritual physician to treat all the diseases of penitents.
    Therefore he should treat every case as carefully as possible. It should be well known that the “seal of confession” is the obligation of secrecy imposed upon the priest with regard to everything made known to him in confession. The obligation is absolute, and admits no exception. It binds by natural, divine, and ecclesiastical law, and is not abrogated even by the penitent’s death. The reason for this stringency is quite clear.

  • Sheba

    What you write is not true at least most of it .I am ye tewahdo lij and i find a lot of fault in your statements .Please refrain from speaking from the tewahdo point of view .
  • sheba
    the more i read the more your statements made me fume .You are one of the protestant infiltrators .God have mercy on our beloved church coz it is being tested by your likes.
  • [quote author=Sheba link=topic=9347.msg115482#msg115482 date=1276518263]
    Hello Zoxasi,

    You are absolutely right! If it is PRIDE that prevents me from confessing to a preist, that is a sin and complete arrogance. But, I may choose not to confess, or consult the preist about it, for example, simply because it may be something the preist cannot understand. There are many cases preists may not understand what a person is talking about. The preist may not appreciate the depth of the problem; man is not all-knowing. This is obvious.

    I mentioned to you the example of the tax collector above. Again, imagine the case of Peter. Did he confess anything to anyone when he regretted betraying the Lord on that night? NO! He genuinely confessed, and cried his heart out! That is what we call worshipping in spirit and in truth. What if Peter came in our times and confessed that to two preists? One may take it seriously and tell him to fast, pray and cry for weeks. Another may think it is better to sooth him and let him know that no one is perfect and he will grow out of such fear.... just dissovling it away. Are we saying Peter is forgiven by either means? If so, is it the case that all Peter needs is to "let somebody know"? How about the things he feels deep inside? How about the roots of the problem Peter himself couldn't trace? What if he doesn't feel like it is a matter of common imperfection and wants to cry for a year? Are we saying he is arrogant? Are we saying he is going againist the "ORDER" of his preist? That doesn't make sense by any means; because Christians are preists and Kings; they need someone to nurture them, not to make them bow for their authority. And definitly, the deciples are not ordained to count each and everything a person does daily. Afterall, they are human beings and they should not be introduced to each and everything sin on earth through other people. This is a huge temptation to them; and this is a bad practice taken from the catholic church which instituted obligatory confession to a preist so that survelillence on the ppopulation becomes easier. You should know that this was pushed by the Romans on Africa so that their preists can control people; and that is a clearly documented fact. Preists are servants, and they are not authority. Everyone who believes Jesus is the son of God has the key to heaven in his hands; because that person is THE ROCK on which a church is constructed. he is the church, the preist, and the believer in it. That is what we mean by the order of Melchi Zedek. Christ instituted completee spiritual fulfillment to the individual, and didn't want anyone to be under the yoke of any one else. The authority of preists as it is misunderstood today is the result of the interpretation of early Catholics who wanted to institutionalize preistehood in Rome in the name of Peter. That was the contageuous disease they got from their pre-Christian government system. after Christianity, they wanted to reign over the world through their cardinals and bishops. Afterall, isn't this the very BASIC reason we separated from the Romans? Do you think it was miaphysism-diaphysism issue? No! That was hairsplitting created to cover the real cause.

    Let us see what the Lord said regarding the authority of servants to the disciples:

    25Jesus said to them, "The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them; and those who exercise authority over them call themselves Benefactors. 26But you are not to be like that. Instead, the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves. 27For who is greater, the one who is at the table or the one who serves? Is it not the one who is at the table? But I am among you as one who serves.

    Preisthood, the way many Orthodoxes imagine it, is a belief that resembles the kings of the gentiles ruling over their people; and that practice is instituted in Rome; not in the bible. Obviusly, African Christians have long been influenced by the Roman way of thinking. It  is now time to think clear. Use preists as far as they can help you, travel the rest of the road with the Holy Spirit. Do not suffer under the bondage of statusquo and authority.Preisthood isn't made by Jesus to be that.

    Peace and Love!
    Sheba


    Sheba, your post is mostly incorrect. I do not suggest you ever doing this anymore(not confessing a sin to abouna) that is very dangerous. It doesn't matter if abouna does not understand the sin you committed, abouna is not God, he  will not forgive your sins. He is merely just a witness before God of your wrong doing. Please and i say again PLEASE:


    DON'T EVER PURPOSELY KEEP A SIN TO YOURSELF DURING CONFESSION.
  • hiiii thank you for all the great comments i never expected 2 go 2 the 2nd page please keep them comin and yesss confession is needed for remission of sins please confess if you did not already start to do so
    thank you cod bless pray for me.
  • it is a bit hard for me to confess all my sins to abouna if other people have often judged me.. like I thought it was a sin to cross the road when there was no green light..or I had a problem with eating pork..

    What if it is just satan causing psychological problems for me and I confess useless things which do not help me?

  • Let your priest worry about that.

    He will understand when to tell you to make a general confession and when to concentrate on particular issues.

    It is a mistake to think of sins as things we do. Walking across the road when it is not green is a civil matter or perhaps a criminal matter in your jurisdiction. It is certainly not a legal matter here in the UK unless I walk in front of a car. If it is a sin in your case then it is not sin because you have walked across the road, but because there is something wrong in your heart. This is what confession is for. It is to help us discover the roots of our problems and have them dealt with, not to list things as if we were subject to an even more oppressive law than the Jews.

    Sin is turning away from God. That is it. Confession helps us turn back to God. Confession helps us discover why we turned away and develop spiritual and practical strategies to prevent it happening in the future.

    It is not a list of things we have done and not done. That is only the beginning and is a means of us discovering with our priest the real issues which lie within.

    As an example, a person might have a problem with impure images of women. He may confess that he looked at this and looked at that etc. But his problem may not be that he is lustful, it may be that he is very lonely and has not yet been able to make intimacy with God a sustaining source of comfort within him. If he just listed the outward expression of his inner problem and went away with an absolution then it might well be that the real issue would be left unresolved. Or he may well have a problem with lust, but the root issue might be a lack of respect for women, and for himself and for other people in general. Again, if all that was presented was a list of failures in behaviour then the real sin would not be dealt with.

    So we should not be concerned about saying too much I don't think. Often it is when we open up that we share the real problem and only then recieve the proper healing.

    Father Peter
  • Is a forced confession still counted as confession or should you just wait until your friend feels ready to go confession on their own?
  • If your friend is distant from Christ and life in the Church then confession is not his main problem. He needs to desire Christ again, and that is a work of the Spirit.

    Pray for him, and perhaps mention him to your priest so that he is aware of his need and will also pray for him.

    But confession is not magic. Simply having the words of absolution said over an uncaring or unrepentant heart will not bring about forgiveness of sins and renewal.

    The prodigal son had to WANT to go back to his father.

    Keep praying for him and as far as is possible keep a door open to activities in the Church for him so that he will not find it so hard to turn up at a service when his heart is more turned towards God.

    Father Peter
  • Before a couple of weeks ago, I havent been to confession in about 2 years. I felt very weak, and an easy target for sin. I tried to come back to christ and I couldnt, I prayed, but even my prayers felt weak and unhelpful. Basically My heart was craving Christ, but my mind told me you cant have him being in the state you are in. I continued asking the Lord, "when will you bring me back to you, I cant come alone". My father of confession doesnt go to my church, so I would never see him n sundays, but there was a funeral going on at my church in which he showed up. When I saw him he said to "im still waiting for your phone call". I answered and said, this week is good for me. The entire week my mind was regreting it, something kept telling me, dont go! Its been 2 years since your last confession, your going to have a LOT to say. The entire week I was stressed out about the confession, but I KNEW it would be my only hope to get closer to God.

    So saturday came, and I went to the church to meet him, there were only 3 people people before me, and it was already 8pm. Everyone seemed to go pretty fast, untill I ran into one of my friends and we started talking. While I was talking to my friend, another lady went in before me, even though it was my turn. The lady was inconfession from 9:20pm, to 11:30pm. I sat alone from 9:30 to 11:30, my friends left, and there was almost no one left in the church. The ENTIRE TIME, my mind was saying GO HOME, its getting late, your really hungry, you can tell him you had to go home and just show up next week. But I KNEW if I didnt go today, I wouldnt be going next week or the week after that. So i FORCED myself to stay and wait, every two minutes I would look at my watch and it kept getting later and later. Finally at 11:30pm it was my turn. Abouna was Shocked that I had waited that long. The first thing he said to me was I know you were tempted to go home, I know how difficult it was to stay. But you stayed here KNOWING that if you did God would bless you, and believe me , you will not leave here tonight without a blessing. And abouna was definetly right, Its been two weeks and i havent felt this way in 2 years. I finally feel like my prayers are being heared, I finally feel like God is here, and most importantly, I finally feel the presence of the Holy Spirit with me, and its Noticably different when hes not there. Confession was what brought me back to Christ, Father Peter is right, If my heart did not Desire to come back to Christ, I would not have stayed 3 hours waiting to confess my sins, and till now still been distant from Christ.







  • Thank you for sharing that most moving testimony.

    May the Lord continue to bless you and keep you safe.

    Father Peter
  • please pray 4 my friend and pray that he goes back 2 christ and it seems the cause he never confessed he is strayin cause he has no support from abuna
  • May the Lord have mercy on your friend and our brother.

    May the Lord touch his heart and stir in him a desire to walk with God again in a newness of life.

    I urge and encourage all who visit Tasbeha to pray for this one who is dear to Christ.

    Let us pray for all those who are drifting away from God.

    Father Peter
  • thank you father please every one do pray for him he is by best friend and he has not talked to me nor came to church in a long time please pray that god hears our prayers and he foes bak to christ and please give me more advice on how to help him go bak to christ and confess.
  • I was reading sayings of the fathers..what are your thoughts on this

    They said of Abba Sisoes that once when he was sitting down he cried with a loud voice O misery! his disciple said to him ..what is the matter father ? the old man said to him. I seek a man to speak to and I do not find one..
  • I believe that is from the Paradise of the Fathers, but the thing that fustrates me in that book is that some of it doesn't make sense and it's really random.
  • he needs a person to confess to of course!!!!
  • Shepherd the flock of God serving as overseers.

    Hebrews 13:17 (New International Version)
    17Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you.


    you are making me look stupid
  • [quote author=GeorgeT link=topic=9347.msg115378#msg115378 date=1276175537]
    Please help me he is my best friend from my own church and he is refusing to confess. I have told him if u dont confess you will brn up in hell. Please help me convence him because I cant do this alone. Give me bible verses, saint sayings, anything to get him to confess and so he makes it a habit. Please help. :'(


    Going back to the original question, I am sure there are many quotes from the Bible and Church Fathers. However, in some cases all the logical arguments in the world might not lead a person to the truth. If you feel the person you are trying to advice is dismissive to your well founded arguments and he seems to be building resistance it might be wiser not to raise the issue any more and leave the matter in the hands of God with unceasing prayer.
    P.S. For the record, I believe in confessing to God in the presence of a priest. The guidance my Father of confession gives me have helped me in many ways.
    In Christ
    Theophilus 
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