We are really lucky to have a priest here as an admin. His name is Fr. Peter, so you can PM him to ask him this, or if he sees this message, hopefully he will respond.
I do think that any spiritual father will tell you that this is very personal. Its a personal choice. (which isn't much help, i know, but it basically means its up to you).
I'm just curious, is this girl Coptic Orthodox or Catholic?
First Year University.. So what does that make you ? 18 ? And you say you're looking to get married.. So say age 25 ? That's 7 years between now and then.. My advice, steer clear ! Focus on your studies and strengthening your faith in the Lord. Trust Him and He'll give you all you need, in His own time.. in what He sees fit.
In general, I think a girl's (or guys) `history` is irrelevant. All that matters is who they are now. Look at Saints like St. Moses the black and St. Mary the Egyptian. They both had `history` but they are Saints of the Church, because of who they became (or rather, because of who our Lord helped them to become), not who they used to be.
Go speak to your confession father aswell, he'll probably be more convincing then me.
[quote author=Hizz_chiilld link=topic=9011.msg112373#msg112373 date=1269522206] First Year University.. So what does that make you ? 18 ? And you say you're looking to get married.. So say age 25 ? That's 7 years between now and then.. My advice, steer clear ! Focus on your studies and strengthening your faith in the Lord. Trust Him and He'll give you all you need, in His own time.. in what He sees fit.
In general, I think a girl's (or guys) `history` is irrelevant. All that matters is who they are now. Look at Saints like St. Moses the black and St. Mary the Egyptian. They both had `history` but they are Saints of the Church, because of who they became (or rather, because of who our Lord helped them to become), not who they used to be.
Go speak to your confession father aswell, he'll probably be more convincing then me.
WoW!...your answer makes a LOT of sense..Thankyou! I remember my father of confession telling me to wait a couple of years before I put myself in any sort of "emotional stress" so I think that's what I should do...I will wait for God to give me according to His will...
Personally, I think you are at a good age to be asking this.
Secondly, I guess if she's confessed it, then God has wiped it away. She won't be judged on it. God has forgiven her.
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However, this is really my opinion here:
you must be 110% convinced with her. You must even be convinced with her confession and with her repentance. I know it sounds like judging, and I do not expect others to agree with me on this, especially Fr. Peter, but I do believe you must be convinced with her repentance, and the reason why she sinned to that extent.
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I just read HizzChild's post. I HAD NO IDEA it is 7 years until you finish Uni!? What kind of Uni system is that? That's long. Sorry, I thought it was only 3 years.
I don't think you need steer clear of her completely if you are interested in her; but then I wouldnt go and propose to her tomorrow. Just be cool and focus on your studies - try to be friends, and that's it.
i think the big misunderstanding is the idea that there is a certain age. well, there is definitely a an age requirement both physically and maturity wise. but you have to be ABSOLUTELY sure that you are ready for marriage in all aspects of it, those being physical, mental, emotional, financial, and spiritual.
and like everyone else has stated, your F.O.C would be of much better of help than most of us. -_-
My apologies, I HONESTLY thought that seek was 1st year uni and he had 2 years left. I think knowing someone 2 years before marriage is good. That's all I meant. I didnt know you had 7 years left!
[quote author=Ecclesiastes 12:1 link=topic=9011.msg112386#msg112386 date=1269529887] i think the big misunderstanding is the idea that there is a certain age. well, there is definitely a an age requirement both physically and maturity wise. but you have to be ABSOLUTELY sure that you are ready for marriage in all aspects of it, those being physical, mental, emotional, financial, and spiritual.
and like everyone else has stated, your F.O.C would be of much better of help than most of us. -_-
My apologies, I HONESTLY thought that seek was 1st year uni and he had 2 years left. I think knowing someone 2 years before marriage is good. That's all I meant. I didnt know you had 7 years left!
Zoxsasi, I didn't mean 7 years of uni ! I was just talking about an approximate age I think would be appropriate for marriage..
first off, you are never too young to think about marriage. second off, i really respect that girl, it took a lot of confidence for her to tell you about her past. It took MORE confidence for her to tell her FOC. who knows, maybe she is meant to be your soulmate, maybe not. I would discuss it with your FOC. If the relationship bewteen you guys get really serious, then i would discuss it with your parents and see their opinion about it.
Steer clear. She has problems, and they do not go away overnight. She only confessed to you. You did not mention that she has taken a road of penance as guided by an FOC. Just because a person is forthcoming with information, does not mean that she has changed.
if she has TRULY repented, and has gone to confession, then God will forgive her. But until that happens, or if it has already happened then just stay away until she does TRULY repent, and until you are BOTH spiritually, physically, mentally and financially mature. I emphasize truly repenting because just going to confession is not enough, there has to be a true feeling of change in her heart. and if/when that happens, and God forgives her, then i dont see any reason why you should not forgive her either. BUT YOU BOTH HAVE TO BE MATURE!!! relationships at the age of 18 DO NOT WORK!!!!!!, lessa badry 3alekom
pray about this situation and ask for God's help and please pray for me and my weakness
Comments
We are really lucky to have a priest here as an admin. His name is Fr. Peter, so you can PM him to ask him this, or if he sees this message, hopefully he will respond.
I do think that any spiritual father will tell you that this is very personal. Its a personal choice. (which isn't much help, i know, but it basically means its up to you).
I'm just curious, is this girl Coptic Orthodox or Catholic?
And you say you're looking to get married.. So say age 25 ?
That's 7 years between now and then.. My advice, steer clear !
Focus on your studies and strengthening your faith in the Lord.
Trust Him and He'll give you all you need, in His own time.. in what He sees fit.
In general, I think a girl's (or guys) `history` is irrelevant. All that matters is who they are now. Look at Saints like St. Moses the black and St. Mary the Egyptian. They both had `history` but they are Saints of the Church, because of who they became (or rather, because of who our Lord helped them to become), not who they used to be.
Go speak to your confession father aswell, he'll probably be more convincing then me.
First Year University.. So what does that make you ? 18 ?
And you say you're looking to get married.. So say age 25 ?
That's 7 years between now and then.. My advice, steer clear !
Focus on your studies and strengthening your faith in the Lord.
Trust Him and He'll give you all you need, in His own time.. in what He sees fit.
In general, I think a girl's (or guys) `history` is irrelevant. All that matters is who they are now. Look at Saints like St. Moses the black and St. Mary the Egyptian. They both had `history` but they are Saints of the Church, because of who they became (or rather, because of who our Lord helped them to become), not who they used to be.
Go speak to your confession father aswell, he'll probably be more convincing then me.
WoW!...your answer makes a LOT of sense..Thankyou! I remember my father of confession telling me to wait a couple of years before I put myself in any sort of "emotional stress" so I think that's what I should do...I will wait for God to give me according to His will...
Secondly, I guess if she's confessed it, then God has wiped it away. She won't be judged on it. God has forgiven her.
------------------------------------
However, this is really my opinion here:
you must be 110% convinced with her. You must even be convinced with her confession and with her repentance. I know it sounds like judging, and I do not expect others to agree with me on this, especially Fr. Peter, but I do believe you must be convinced with her repentance, and the reason why she sinned to that extent.
--------------------------------------
I just read HizzChild's post. I HAD NO IDEA it is 7 years until you finish Uni!? What kind of Uni system is that? That's long. Sorry, I thought it was only 3 years.
I don't think you need steer clear of her completely if you are interested in her; but then I wouldnt go and propose to her tomorrow. Just be cool and focus on your studies - try to be friends, and that's it.
and like everyone else has stated, your F.O.C would be of much better of help than most of us. -_-
My apologies, I HONESTLY thought that seek was 1st year uni and he had 2 years left. I think knowing someone 2 years before marriage is good. That's all I meant. I didnt know you had 7 years left!
i think the big misunderstanding is the idea that there is a certain age. well, there is definitely a an age requirement both physically and maturity wise. but you have to be ABSOLUTELY sure that you are ready for marriage in all aspects of it, those being physical, mental, emotional, financial, and spiritual.
and like everyone else has stated, your F.O.C would be of much better of help than most of us. -_-
Agreed :)
Guys,
My apologies, I HONESTLY thought that seek was 1st year uni and he had 2 years left. I think knowing someone 2 years before marriage is good. That's all I meant. I didnt know you had 7 years left!
Zoxsasi,
I didn't mean 7 years of uni ! I was just talking about an approximate age I think would be appropriate for marriage..
+ God Bless .
If you want good response, send a pm to fr. Peter
second off, i really respect that girl, it took a lot of confidence for her to tell you about her past. It took MORE confidence for her to tell her FOC.
who knows, maybe she is meant to be your soulmate, maybe not.
I would discuss it with your FOC.
If the relationship bewteen you guys get really serious, then i would discuss it with your parents and see their opinion about it.
GOD BLESS! :)
History is not the best subject for most people.
BUT YOU BOTH HAVE TO BE MATURE!!! relationships at the age of 18 DO NOT WORK!!!!!!, lessa badry 3alekom
pray about this situation and ask for God's help
and please pray for me and my weakness