How can I change someone?

edited December 1969 in Faith Issues
I'm not talking about someone apart from the church, but someone inside the church. It's a tough situation-- primarily because we need to remove the plank from our own eye before we can remove the speck in our brother's eye. So should we just pray for the person? I'm saying this because I have a good friend who is in the Church a lot, but I want to help them get closer to Christ personally and take more seriousness in their spiritual life (I need to do this for myself as well--I will be the first to admit that I am a hypocrite, but at least a hypocrite that cares about their friend for what it's worth....)....should I encourage them to read their bible everyday? is that a good way to start? I personally believe prayer is powerful and I definitely pray for this person--but I feel like there's more I could/should be doing....

Help? Father Peter? Anyone?

Thanks.

Comments

  • im also in the same situation so i would like some feedback from others also
  • First rule:  You cannot change anyone.

    Second rule:  Only the person at hand can change themselves.

    Third rule:  God can overrule Rules 1 & 2 (in His Own Way).

    Fourth rule:  Pray dearly for your friend.

    Fifth rule:  Be an example in a loving and friendly way.
  • i like those rules!
    in my opinion, we can all help to change the life of the church.
    what i mean is that, after the mass, instead of seeing our mates and deciding where to hang out for lunch or talk about what we did this week, we could start a discussion about the sermon. eg this weekend it's the sermon of the prodigal son, so maybe if abouna said something that is useful to us, we could say to our friends, 'that bit in the sermon is exactly how i feel, i need to forgive more/ concentrate on God more etc (add what fits), so what did you think about it?'
    or when your friends call and ask how you're doing, you can say, oh i had a bad day studying, so i started reading about loving my enemies and realised i am very jealous/ afraid (add what fits) of someone and then i prayed about it, and now i feel calmer i know i'll study better tomorrow.
    or if you are stressed, you can tell your friends, i was really stressed so i was reading psalm 90(91) but i don't understand it, have you read it? what do you think?

    these are just examples i invented about how we can discuss God more with our Christian friends, you see, if you listen to the sermon and read the Bible during the week (this great website always has daily readings if you don't know how to start) then you will automatically discuss spiritual things with your friends and family.
    then, when your friend who seems far from God comes to talk to you, he will find you and your friends always talking about God and he will be interested and you can talk to him as well.

    just so your friends don't suddenly think you've become really holy, you can admit to them as well when you find it difficult, eg (this is a true example!) when i am praying i get easily distracted and start thinking about loads of things and then have to drag myself back to praying again and thank God for His patience!

    with your non-Christian friends you can also talk about God, like when they see you have a hard time at work and ask how you cope you can say, actually i pray about my life and God helps me with all my troubles. then if they are interested, you can tell them a bit more.
    1 peter 3:15 asks us to always be prepared to give a reason for the hope that is in us, and i think that if we are willing for God to transform our lives by the daily discipline of prayer, Bible study and worshiping Him, then we and all around us will benefit.

    may He guide us all in our lives at church and in our daily lives.
  • I guess.........I still feel like there might be more I can do.............. anymore ideas?
  • [quote author=user00 link=topic=8885.msg111361#msg111361 date=1267471900]
    I guess.........I still feel like there might be more I can do.............. anymore ideas?


    to add to what ilovesaintmark said in full agreement, it all depends on you and the other person. Bring Jesus closer to him and present everything that can help him do that. You can't make him grow I spirit...you can only lead him and he is willing to go into thAt way.
  • Sixth Rule:  do not try to ignore or circumvent the other five rules.
  • [quote author=ilovesaintmark link=topic=8885.msg111424#msg111424 date=1267499949]
    Sixth Rule:  do not try to ignore or circumvent the other five rules.


    just did...sue me  ;)
  • [quote author=minagir link=topic=8885.msg111363#msg111363 date=1267472784]
    [quote author=user00 link=topic=8885.msg111361#msg111361 date=1267471900]
    I guess.........I still feel like there might be more I can do.............. anymore ideas?


    to add to what ilovesaintmark said in full agreement, it all depends on you and the other person. Bring Jesus closer to him and present everything that can help him do that. You can't make him grow I spirit...you can only lead him and he is willing to go into thAt way.


    ilovestmark, I agree with your rules, but I definitely agree with Mina, I think he provided some additional needed insight--I just pray God gives me the grace to accomplish this!
  • The best you can do is seek to be transformed by God and by His grace yourself so that both knowingly and unknowingly those around you are drawn to seek God more.

    Pray for this person, but give your prayers strength by committing yourself to a holy and obedient life.

    When we sin it affects the people around us, when we are holy and faithful it affects the people around us. There is not a clear cause and effect line we can measure, but this effect is true nonetheless.

    So seek to become more holy and faithful yourself, lift this person to God when you pray and fast and worship in Church, and when the opportunity comes to help this person walk more closely with God themselves then be gentle and humble, giving thanks to God for each step you see them taking, but being aware that God is already working invisibly in their hearts each day.

    As has been said, be a good friend and pray. But being a good friend means you will wish to become a more devout, more holy, more obedient and faithful yourself - the prayers of a righteous man availeth much.

    God bless you

    Father Peter
  • Fr Peter is so on the money. Setting a good example by living the Orthodox spiritual life all day every day is priceless. That in itself is worth more than any words. I know, as a previous post mentioned, that you cannot change someone by simply talking to them. I have always felt that if what I say is true it is up to that person to choose to accept it or not. Atleast your not standing idly by while something happens, and you seem to be approaching it in a humble way.
  • I agree--thank you all for your responses. I will focus on myself more while praying for this person, and God will work in their hearts according to His time and His plan, and perhaps use my weak self in the process somehow. God knows I need to work on myself.

    Thank you all again and please keep me in your prayers
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