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thoughts that are unpleasing....
Ok i know this might be impossible but i was wondering, how in the world do you stop your mind from tempting you to look at bad things on the internet, or even walking in school how do you not look at every girl and lust for her i was close to stopping but my eyes just act on their own will and i really dont know how to stop please help.....
Pray for me and my weakness, and for our beloved Father Abouna Bishoy
Pray for me and my weakness, and for our beloved Father Abouna Bishoy
Comments
My first suggestion would be to have a greater desire for something spiritual ex. tasbeha, spiritual books, spiritual songs, praying and fasting... than for the lustful desire.
Im no better off than you but things i found to work are:
How do you try to get rid of sinful thoughts?
1) pray that God changes your heart and makes it pure.
2) Keep yourself occupied with more relavent things related to your spiritual life or worldly life.
What i mean by that is occupy yourself with prayer, reading the Holy Bible, fasting, and studying.
I heard this from a bishop before: thoughts are like birds flying aroung your head, make sure that bird doesn't land on your head and make a nest by swinging your arms and running away. Do anything possible to prevent that bird from nesting on your head!
Keep me in your prayers. GBU
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Galatians 5&version=50
Walking in the Spirit
16 I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. 17 For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
19 Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery,[c] fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, 21 envy, murders,[d] drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. 24 And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.
Humility Cures Worldliness
James 4
7 Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you
To submit to God is to say I am weak and I can not do it on my own. I will be like David the Prophet and put my trust in You to help me. The book of psalms is very good to read. Psalm 119 is very good
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm 119;&version=50;
Reading the bible is very good. It is the best book to help you succeed. To know whats required of you and therefore to pray properly so God can hear and help us. If you take the time to hear God's words God will hear you. He promised.
John 15:7
If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. 8 By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples.
Confessing to a priest can break the bond of the affliction. Because Solomon said
Proverbs 28:13 He who covers his sins will not prosper, But whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.
Just as people were confessing their sins to john the baptist. You must confess to a priest because He has keys of the kingdom of God. See Matthew 16:19 and John 20:21-23
you have to want to have a relationship with God.. which from your post it looks like you do.
Having an attraction to someone else is not lust but fantasising about a girl in your head is. You said impossible. Why do you say that. Now satan just wants to lie to you. God does not give us anything we can not handle
1 Corinthians 10:13 (New King James Version)
13 No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.
I am also not better off but I know God is able to save me.. and does help me always when I ask.
You should say the Jesus Prayer "Lord Jesus Christ Son of God. Have mercy on me" just keep repeating it and they will go away.
Read books by Pope Shenouda. They are the best.
I hope I have not stopped someone else from talking.
Ok i know this might be impossible but i was wondering, how in the world do you stop your mind from tempting you to look at bad things on the internet, or even walking in school how do you not look at every girl and lust for her i was close to stopping but my eyes just act on their own will and i really dont know how to stop please help.....
Pray for me and my weakness, and for our beloved Father Abouna Bishoy
I think once you've decided to NOT look at bad images or girls, then the rest should be easy. But, the 1st step is to decide. I don't think you've really decided yet to do this if you still find yourself looking.
The reason why you are still looking at such images is probably related to the reasons you have given yourself for not looking. They may not be the right ones.
Don’t tell yourself “I have talked to my father of Confession last week, how can I go back to him again”. Until you attain self-control you have to visit your father of confession as many times as you have relapsed.
Relapse is something that usually happens, but you should always repent from the bottom of your heart and continue the journey you have started.
Another thing is identify situations that you feel most tempted in. Is it when you are alone in front of your computer? Is it when you are taking shower? Is it when you go to bed? Once you identify these situations pray and make the sign of the cross asking Christ to give you the strength to pass the temptation. Also try to avoid the situations as much as you can. It doesn’t make sense to intentionally put oneself in a situation where you can be easily tempted and then ask for God’s help. The best cure is prevention. So, don’t use the computer unless for work purpose, or make sure you use it in a public are as in a library.
As others in this forum mentioned prayer, fasting, reading the Bible etc… always bear fruit.
Be patient, for you might face many relapses and feel frustrated. Also remember ‘once an addict always an addict’. Sometimes months after you have stopped looking at stuff you feel the urge to do so. This might be opportunities to be tested and prove yourself.
Final words: never give up, for that would be blaspheming the Holy Spirit; denying that God can save you from your sins. It might take time but if you endure and ask earnestly God will deliver you as he delivered many.
Pray for me a Sinner :)
In Christ
Theophilus
It is also useful and powerful to remember that we can do nothing in our own strength at all. We will only exhaust ourselves and fall into greater sin, either despair if we are unable to control ourselves or pride if we do.
If we are to see any spiritual fruit in our lives we must rely on and seek the grace of God which He gives freely to those who ask. And if we can only succeed with the grace of God and God desires us to be holy then He will give all that we need to live holy lives. Of course this requires our own effort, but it is a working with God to do what pleases Him, not a working on our own to make ourselves acceptable to Him.
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
At the first sign of temptation cry out 'Lord, strengthen me, I can do nothing on my own' and He will give sufficient grace to strengthen your resolve.
All the other suggestions are excellent. It is a good thing to replace neglectful habits with good habits, since many sins are habitual. Make it a habit to surround all those times when you are tempted with spiritual activities that are as much habits as your sins have been. Then it will be harder for you to be tempted.
May God strengthen you and bless you as you seek to honour Him with your life
Father Peter
Another thing is identify situations that you feel most tempted in. Is it when you are alone in front of your computer? Is it when you are taking shower? Is it when you go to bed? Once you identify these situations pray and make the sign of the cross asking Christ to give you the strength to pass the temptation. Also try to avoid the situations as much as you can. It doesn’t make sense to intentionally put oneself in a situation where you can be easily tempted and then ask for God’s help. The best cure is prevention.
i fully agree!
[quote author=peterfarrington link=topic=7673.msg100529#msg100529 date=1235582004]
It is a good thing to replace neglectful habits with good habits, since many sins are habitual. Make it a habit to surround all those times when you are tempted with spiritual activities that are as much habits as your sins have been. Then it will be harder for you to be tempted.
Excellent point! expanding on this point...
I read on the Washington Business Journal that this is the link to the article http://washington.bizjournals.com/washington/stories/2006/02/27/smallb2.html
Try it! ;)
In Christ
Theophilus
It really is quite serious.
I know that we live in a society where porn is thrown at us at every single angle, and through every street we walk in, but this is not only detrimental to your spiritual life, but also your personal life. Before, (say 30 years ago), unless you explicitly wanted to, you couldnt really find porn. I mean, it was hidden. You'd have to go to find pornographic material. Nowadays, it comes to you. Not only with the advent of the internet, and Cable TV coupled with Satellite TV stations that bombard us unexpectedly with Porn, but even in marketing and advertising. If you go to a newsagent to buy the daily newspaper - you are bound to have porn thrown at you from what is called "men's fashion magazines". Even newspapers unwittingly have to some degree some softporn material.
Problems start when you begin to entertain these images in your heart.
A good speaker about the effects of porn is Jason Evert - but please see others also. In any case, they highlight the dangers of porn.
If the internet is really causing you to stumble, cut it off from you. Don't even bother coming to tasbeha.org.
If the TV is causing you to stumble, cut it off from you. Don't even bother about the news.
If your friends are causing you to stumble, then most definately it is better to be alone than be surrounded by others who just push into this direction.
Theophilus 1: Where did you get once an addict, always an addict?
I know this concept is central in the Alcoholic's Anonymous, "Twelve Steps". The idea is that the twelve steps isn't a one time formula for recovery, rather, since "once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic", the twelve steps were written to be a life practice.
Of course I don't know for sure that AA was the first to make such a statement, and of course I don't know for sure weather Theophilus 1 would be familiar with AA. Also I don't exactly endorse AA, but I think the concept behind the Twelve Step Program is relevant to the topic, and to repentance in general.
Once we've identified a sin that we are prone to comitting, the (modified) addage "once a sinner always a sinner" ought to play a role in our repentance from that sin, not once, but continually. Here we are talking about looking at porno, but i think this applies to any action or thought that is in conflict with God's will. We have to realize that the power to overcome sin comes from God.
This leads to kind of an abstract, but interesting, concept of repentance. The power is not ours, its God's, likewise the will is not ours, it's God's. The only effort required from us is to keep ourselves properly aligned with God's will, and I think there are a lot of good ways to do that already mentionned on this forum. My favorite metaphor for this idea is white water kayaking. You do not have to propel yourself forward at all. The only reason to use the paddle is to keep yourself constantly aligned with the flow of current. You don't really need to avoid obstacles; you don't even really have to know where the obstacles are, the water already knows where to go and is already naturally going the right way.
George
Can I suggest some listening material?
But, for my own personal advice, I would suggest the following TWO step process to overcoming this problem:
STEP 1: Go to the http://www.shelleylubben.com/index.php?truth=blog
website and read the stories of ex-porn stars, including that of shelley lubben.
Read how much she regrets about what the porn industry has done to her.
Read about how she is married now with a family, and children.
STEP 2: The next time you see a porn-star (whether in a movie, or on the internet) - I want you to imagine her with the same story, and that you are just looking at her before she got out of the porn-industry.
See every porn-star with the potential to have the same story as Shelley.
See each porn-star with the potential to be in a loving marriage like Shelley's and have so much regret about their past.
See your own wife or daughter in her place.