Egyptian Parents

edited December 1969 in Personal Issues
What is it with egyptian parents and forcing their kids to become doctors?
They say its because they want their kids to have a great income, but life isn't supposed to be about money. Just because someone is rich doesn't mean they'll be happy. There isn't an entrance fee into heaven.
Infact, Jesus Christ our Savior said that "Again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." Mathew 19:24.
I don't get how Egyptian parents go to church and say "do not love the world nor the things of the world for all shall pass away" yet all they care about is money which = happiness according to their actions. All they really want is bragging rights, right? They just want to be able to say "Oh my kid is a doctor".

so somehow Money = happiness
yet God = happiness
so money = God? >|?

Maybe there's a parent out there who can explain this theory over here? Why do all the kids HAVE TO be doctors? why can't we be something we actually enjoy? Perhaps something that requires college (gasp) or maybe something, dare i say it, not in science or engineering? Why is it that if a person is not a doctor, their parents are ashamed or uneasy?
???

Comments

  • I've heard (and suspect there is probably quite a bit of truth to this) that this is because in Egypt the best professions for a Christian are Medicine and Engineering, but of course that's not the case in the Diaspora. The other factor is the fact that the only families to have moved from Egypt to other countries are those who could afford to, which happen to be those who were of the professions which make the most money in Egypt: doctors and engineers.

    There's probably much more involved than this, we Egyptians are an awesomely complicated group of people :D, but its interesting to think about...

    God bless
  • I feel uneasy listening to a lecture from someone named "pie"  ;D

    There's nothing wrong with pushing one's child to something that will give them success later in their life. And you need to realize that we have two needs: spiritual and our everyday (I don't like this term) needs (food, safety, family, etc). What do you think your parents are doing every Sunday when they take you to church, among other spiritual things? They're helping you with your spiritual needs. Now in the case of pushing you to be a doctor (or a pharmacist in my case ;) ) they're helping you with your everyday needs. Or are you telling me that them helping us in this area is off limits?

    Perhaps something that requires college (gasp) or maybe something, dare i say it, not in science or engineering?

    I doubt you will be thinking this after you have children of your own.

    yet all they care about is money which = happiness according to their actions.

    That is your assumption.

    All they really want is bragging rights, right? They just want to be able to say "Oh my kid is a doctor".

    That is your assumption.

    Infact, Jesus Christ our Savior said that "Again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." Mathew 19:24.

    There is nothing wrong with making a $1 (insert desired # of zero's here) a year, as long as we use it in a way that is pleasing to God.
  • As a parent I have to say that I do take pride - sometimes sinfully - in the successes of some of my children. But not all of my children will go to university, and I will take pride in whatever they do, if they work at it.

    There is nothing wrong with wanting a child to reach their potential. Yet what if a young adult wants to do something else? What if a young adult wants to be a nurse rather than a doctor? What if a young adult wants to work fix cars? What if a young adult wants to become a monk? What if a young adult wants to spend 5 years working in Kenya?

    All of those seem responsible and honourable things to desire.

    As a parent myself I am aware that there does come a point when we have to let our young adult children make decisions for themselves. Not abandoning them to every fancy that comes into their heads, but if a young adult, aware of the choices and possibilities, does not want the job that his/her parents have imagined for him/her then I am not sure it is always right to keep pushing.

    To be a doctor or pharmacist is homourable, but is it less honourable to be a garbage collector? Is this not also a job that needs doing? Is it any less honourable when a man works hard to keep his family? We need people to work in stores, we need people to deliver parcels. Society needs all of these jobs fulfilled. None of these are dishonourable.

    I am not giving an opinion about the original post, but I do become a little confused when I see that almost universally Coptic youth seem expected to become Doctors. That doesn't seem balanced or normal? In the 6th century when Egypt was all Coptic did none of these other jobs get done? I know that England is called a 'Nation of Shopkeepers'. Was Egypt a 'Nation of Doctors' ?  :)

    Do all of you Coptic youth WANT to become Doctors? Or are there other careers you would like to choose but feel unable to do so? I do not mean this so that we can all complain about our parents, but a society does need plumbers and electricians. How do Coptic parents think that those needs should be met? - That is a question not a statement.

    Father Peter
  • I am an exception, i never wanted anything health science related. Actually, i am a polititcs fanatic. My parnts always told me do what ou areintrested in, and theyencouraged me to dos so. I am aiming to bea politician. so there you go one of a kind!
  • Coptic parents will not became ashamed or uneasy! of course some will seem to. It depends. Talking to your parents about the thinking needs to happen. If you think about it, you need to get very good grades to get into medical school in Egypt. You do not get paid well (even when you have your own pracite it depends) in Egypt. Yet some Coptic parents want their kids to become doctors in Egypt. When they aren't in Egypt anymore, they think medicine is a good study and they think if their kids are smart and dedicated enough they can go through medical school. If you don't want to, then you don't want to. But you can use your talents to help people who are ill, that's the long run. You could make a lot of money in business especially, computer related and other engineering, a lot of other professions in the U.S. for example. It is not like you wouldn't do a good job no matter what you worked as. But wouldn't it be nice to help patients; not just as a medical person but as a Christian? Parents could think that is good. It's not for everyone, you may hear. But when you can study hard, then what do you want to go into? You can do anything. If your parents moved from Egypt, then, yes, they want you to be comfortable financially, but that is not all. Maybe the question is what do you get out of a profession?  Why is it bad to think of being a doctor? Why not take it into consideration...
    But keep all the other choices; if you really want to be something else!
  • What if they desired that their son/daughter becomes a doctor, and when they do become doctors something bad happens to them and are sued for negligence? Like Michael Jackson's doctor?

    I do not understand Coptic parents that have a pre-defined goal for their children. This is just plain stupid. Their children are 1st and above all the Children of God. They are only looking after them and raising them and their role, before God is to raise them to love God. That should be their goal.

    The only thing that would make ANY parent ashamed is if their son did something dishonest. That's it.

    Having said that, medicine is not at all that interesting for everyone. Law could be interesting, but it has its problems. Software development is interesting if you are learning something new each day.  I'm saying this because what is vital is that your children do choose a field that inspires them and makes them use their minds. If their minds are idle and they feel at work that they are not getting any satisfaction, then this is not right. It would be wise for someone to choose a field they love rather than a field that paid more.

    I know someone who left banking after gaining a degree in Economics from probably the best University in the World, only to study from scratch again Chemistry. He was earning a fortune working for a bank, but it was so boring for him, he quit.

    So, this guy, whose parents chose for him a career and university, ultimately wasted this guy's time by insisting on a career, and not letting him choose something that he loved.

  • [quote author=coptic youth link=topic=8767.msg109898#msg109898 date=1265195056]
    I am an exception, i never wanted anything health science related. Actually, i am a polititcs fanatic. My parnts always told me do what ou areintrested in, and theyencouraged me to dos so. I am aiming to bea politician. so there you go one of a kind!


    hi 5 coptic youth!!! although...i rekon social work is the way to go ;)

    Its not only egyptian parents, every culture pushes their child to excel and make them proud. further i think its important not to mix culture with religion.

    in saying that....yeh gypos can be a pain wen it comes to yr 12....its like the end of the worldd.....if u dont get a decent uai ur life is ova! HAHAHA on the contrary at the end of yr 12 is simply another chapter...follow ur passions and desires coz this will make u happy!

    and ur neva too young to do anythng! even though gypos are tough, parents onli mean the best, they really just wana see u happy and comfortable in life not struggling so they encourage u to achive high but in saying. if uve eva heard ur parents talk about their lives, its reallii tough growing up in egypt so well paid jobs were strongly encouraged but living outside of egypt we shud feel luky but try compromise with ur parents......all will happen in its time ;)
  • i didn't have egyptian parents so i got myself some (or, rather they found me coming to church alone, so added me to their grown-up children). they let their children do what they wanted in life, they were really cool. they are a good example to other egyptians.
    as for the others, when they say their son/ daughter/ sister is a doctor, i just say "ma'alish", never mind, which shocks them a bit and makes their kids laugh out loud!
    what's important though, is asking God for guidance and developing a loving character. that's more important than any exam grades, and will make more of a difference in the long term. sometimes you have to do a job you don't like because you are poor or someone makes you study something you don't like. if you can learn to do your job/ study well even if you hate it, then God will reward you. although if you have a chance to change to doing something you like, then take this, but be gentle to those around you.

    when you feel like a slave, take saint paul's advice to slaves (ephesians 6), do your work as if you are doing it for God (ultimately everything you do should be for God), however, if you can get your freedom you should do that.

    so if you have parent problems, pray for them and ask God to help you to show them His love.
  • Hey everyone!!
    Listen your parents just want the best for you.
    Ask yourself this, Would you rather work in McDonalds or In your own clinc??
    And my uncle is rich. Eastbrunswick Church needed 900,000 and he gave them 600,000?
    So money is good if you use it for good reasons! :)
    [coptic]Aiernobi[/coptic]
  • Couldn't agree more with jibrahim.  I was in the same position as you, pie, when I was in high school and just wanted to become whatever it is that I wanted to become (something in computers, I think), but my mother insisted that I become either a pharmacist or a doctor.
    And guess what, I listened to her and I'm almost done with Pharmacy School and can never thank my mother enough!  I'm very happy and grateful for what she made me become and if it wasn't for her, God knows what else I would've become. 
    Think about the economy today and how jobs are scarce.  The medical field is the one of the few that're still going strong. 
    Think about your less fortunate brothers and sisters in Egypt, those living way below the poverty level, and how you can take their blessings when you have a good job and make enough money.  You don't have to necessarily make a lot of money and keep for yourself. But like jibrahim said, you can use it for good reasons, and be assured that God will reward you for that!

    Listen to your parents! You won't regret it, trust me!
  • I do agree that all our parents want the best for us and especially to be happy and have a successful job and life. Don't you hear Egyptian parents say, "3ayzak teb2a ahsan wahed/wahda" (i want you to be the best)...?

    And I cannot argue against obeying our parents. However, i also believe that as their children we have a right to choose our own careers. After all, we're the ones studying not them, we're the ones who will be working as that job, not them. So I think it is something they need to know.

    I am not in any way saying we should be rebels and deliberately go against our parents, but just being honest with them. And God's will always takes over!

    Before getting into university 5 years ago i had this problem with my parents...one of them wanted me to do pharmacy and the other medicine...i didnt want to do either of them...i wanted psychology and teaching!! I spoke to my parents honestly but at the same time respectfully. Eventually they came to understand. They always did of course, but they just didnt stop to think about it until i said this to them..they realized they wanted me to be happy doing what I want. Parents have to remember that they can't always have their way 100% - everyone has to sacrifice something.
  • Hahhaha i think we are giving our parents a bit of flack in this one!

    Ill be honest growing up i wasnt the smartest kid, but my parents pushed me and wanted me 2 become a doctor!

    i thought they were crazy and i always had this argument with them, that their is more to life than medicine!

    When i finished yr 12 i got in2 pharmacy which was their 2nd option, and i didnt really like it!

    But i finished it anyway and then my parents faught with me again 2 do medicine after!

    Got to the stage where we wouldnt speak, but as they wanted i got accepted into med school!

    Looking back, id kiss their feet daily for their insistance on me becoming a doctor, i have never been happier in my life!

    Just thought id share a diff perspective on this issue!

    God Bless

    Bish
    www.stnoufer.wordpress.com

  • Do all of you Coptic youth WANT to become Doctors? Or are there other careers you would like to choose but feel unable to do so? I do not mean this so that we can all complain about our parents, but a society does need plumbers and electricians. How do Coptic parents think that those needs should be met? - That is a question not a statement.

    My parents have NEVER talked to me about careers. EVER
    and then once i expressed an interest in medicine i had a zillion people looking at me with pity and asking how was i forced into wanting to do it.
    Even people who are not copts but know that i am, they always assume that it is pressure from parents that's forcing me to want to study medicine. If feels frustrating how some parents actually set a reputation for all copts now. oh well..
    but some jobs ARE looked down on by parents. I have nevr asked my parents about their opinion and i don't intend to anways (i might be reminding them of their pressuring duties that i've been pardoned from lol)
  • [quote author=mnc_hnn link=topic=8767.msg113346#msg113346 date=1271383123]

    Do all of you Coptic youth WANT to become Doctors? Or are there other careers you would like to choose but feel unable to do so? I do not mean this so that we can all complain about our parents, but a society does need plumbers and electricians. How do Coptic parents think that those needs should be met? - That is a question not a statement.

    My parents have NEVER talked to me about careers. EVER
    and then once i expressed an interest in medicine i had a zillion people looking at me with pity and asking how was i forced into wanting to do it.
    Even people who are not copts but know that i am, they always assume that it is pressure from parents that's forcing me to want to study medicine. If feels frustrating how some parents actually set a reputation for all copts now. oh well..
    but some jobs ARE looked down on by parents. I have nevr asked my parents about their opinion and i don't intend to anways (i might be reminding them of their pressuring duties that i've been pardoned from lol)


    I don't really get this too much. I'm sure the fact that my parents are both doctors has influenced my decision somewhat to study medicine, but I wouldn't be doing it if I didn't love it  :D
  • Not just from making all of the income, it is also a form of respect.
    NOt just that, before you get married, the spouse's parents would be very interested.

    please pray for my weakness
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