Spiritual Cycle

edited December 1969 in Personal Issues
So every now and again i always go through the same cycle, i start to act up and sin, and stray away from the one thing i love most. Then afterwards ill have some friend tell me what im doing is wrong this and that. Or even i watch something that scares me like an exocism and be scared cause i dont want to be like the demon inside that person. so ill start to act good again and pray and all that. then maybe 3 or more months down the lane ill be the same way ill start to smoke and go to parties and curse and all of these things that lead to my eternal life in hell. For example now i am at the stage i just described and i am doing all of these things, i have a girl friend, i smoke, sexual immortality, cursing, not respecting my parents. And now i just watched an exorcism and got scared and am wondering to myself like, why do i do this? why am i not trying to prepare a life in heaven? and it makes me cry to myself sometimes. So far i have stopped smoking and sexual immortality, but everything else i dont know what to do about. My friends make fun of me because i go to church Friday, Saturday, Sundays and sometimes random days of the week. The thing is that i start these things because i feel like when i am closer to God i dont have friends nobody likes me or even bothers to acknowledge me. But when i start to smoke and change thats when people start to talk to me, and i have friends to support me. I have been having a gut feeling telling me that the world is soon to end and that God is just going to come when i never would expect it. I AM TERRIFIED TO GO TO HELL, and it bothers me to know that if i continue this way thats going to be my home for ETERNITY. i just dont know what to do and i felt like i could come here for some help........


  • Deacon mark unless you are looking to marry i don't think that your relationship with your girlfriend will help. Also, it is your friends that are losing because they don't spend so much time in church. I had the same problem. Talk to your father of confession, he will help you. Also, before you go to sleep at night pray that God will help you. Believe me, it will help. If you don't pray about it, then that means you are not serious about Christianity, and deserve the immense punishment that will be sent to you if you continue this ungodly and unhealthy way of life.

    SORRY FOR BEING HARSH, but i can't stand to see my brother who is also a deacon fall into this, i am just looking out for you. Pray for me as i will also pray for you
  • hey brother Mark,

    life isn't easy at all. We can't conquer the tribulations we face without God's helping hand. He conquered them and so can we. I know what your talking about because i sort of face this at times. The way to get back is repent.... apologize for all the sins you've done for he died for us. Everyday repent ask God for his mercy and help. Even if your friends go away from u it's better to be with God. At the end of the day, you'll have a true friend and father who doesn't ignore you or encourage you into different things that aren't proper. Everyone stumbles.... we all sin and its not just you. You feel like stopping this way of life which is good, but you need to take action. As Geomike point out about a girlfriend. ..ask yourself do I have a girlfriend that may become a future wife to me in my life? OR am i using her and not looking to marry her. Go to ur FOC and confess ask for his help. Whenever u stumble get bak up. It's just like how God said it is better if 99 righteous and 1 who comes and repents, the whole heaven rejoices. Set a goal for yourself for example: respecting your parents. Before u say something rude or disobey them think about your response to them and then say it in a respectful manner. Psalm 50 is a really good psalm to recite. BTW.. read the Bible, Agbeya, recite psalms and keep praying, repentence, confession and communion. The Lord is so merciful.
    "If your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out and throw it from you. It is better for you to enter life with one eye, than to have two eyes and be cast into the fiery hell. Matthew 18:9 Again, this refers to you and ur friends...if they are people who make you sin then eliminate them from your life.(get better friends)
    Do you not know that you are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you? (1 Corinthians 3:16 Your body is the temple of God with the Holy Spirit in it. WE should respect our bodies because they symbolize a member of Jesus' body.
    Don't hang out with bad friends that make you sin. Get friends that impact your life positively. DONT GIVE UP! God will come in a time we don't expect it, but we have to be ready. Keep repenting and go confess.
    May God give you wisdom and courage in your life.
    WE're human beings that are weak, but with God'e grace, guidance and help we can do it! Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect. Matthew 5:48 Aim for perfection and you can succeed!
    God Bless you!

    Pray 4 me
  • Ok, your motivation should not be your fear of going to hell, it should be your love for God. We are called to be sons and daughters of God and NOT SLAVES who merely do what they are asked because they are afraid of punishment!!!!!
    I understand very well the pressures and temptations that we face as Christians living in non-religious environments where the mere fact of believing in God or going to church is considered naive, weak, absurd, useless, etc etc. But you must consider very well what you have, the blessing of being a Christian, of being allowed to partake of the Holy Body and Blood, knowing that your prayers are heard and will be answered in due time, realizing that there are thousands and thousands of saints and angels praying for you. Instead of looking at the ones who laugh at you as a threat, look at them with compassion, try to contemplate the life they must lead, a life without God, without hope, without peace! They might try to pretend to be enjoying themselves, but there is no real joy outside God, no true love.. So have compassion with them, pray for them, you will find it spiritually beneficial... Try to look at things as they really are, not as they seem, be honest with yourself, if you choose God's way 'in the world you will have tribultion, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world' said God. Put your weakness before God and ask for His help, not just in dry routine prayer, but ask with faith, ask while believing that He is allmighty and willing to grant you strength once you ask for it...

  • [quote author=Godislove260 link=topic=8506.msg107820#msg107820 date=1258533488]
    Ok, your motivation should not be your fear of going to hell, it should be your love for God.
    Isnt it fear first, then perfect love casting out this fear?
  • This all is helpful to me and my future, i hope God blesses you all a thousand fold for this, But the thing is that with my "girlfriend" it just started a couple of days ago not to long and if i end it now everyone is gonna be mad and not like me. Her friends introduced me to her and she said she really did like me.....so if i end it now then she will be mad and sad, AND I HAVE HER SISTER IN MY ART CLASS..... so my point is if i do it now then ill make my lonelyness only worse than what it is. i mean people tell me i have friends im funny and charming etc etc, but it doesnt make a difference to me. Also im very self conscious about what people say or think about me and i know its wrong but i cant help it when people give me dirty looks and make fun of me... Overall i think i should just date her for a little longer and then end it after a little while. ending it now would mean people laughing at me and people making fun of me and calling me a girl. Many of them already are still making fun of me because they think i dont have time for her because im always at church. This is random too, but when im at church i stay in the back and i dont dress as a deacon because i feel like i dont belong to the church untill i confess or something. And i dont even attend Tasbeha, Take communion, Pray, Read the Bible, Dress as a Deacon, or say hi to abouna.... all of this is because i feel like i cant show my face to anyone or even God in his own house, to me thats like being over your friends house spitting on him and slapping him but remain seated in his house and hang out with them....

    To wrap this drag up, i wanted to know whats the best thing to do about the girl, keep in mind what i said will happen if i do it now... thanks and sorry for making this complicated
  • Brother Mark,

    WE all are sinners and face challenges in our loves every single day. GOd is a merciful God. No person dressed up as a deacon is perfect and without sin. Jesus sat with the tax collectors ate with Zacceus the sinner. Jesus forgave the samaritan woman who had five husbands. Jesus forgave Mary Madeline who had evil spirits in her. Wow! think about that..Jesus accepts you no matter what you do. There is nothing wrong with being a deacon because, we all sin. Yes, u should be conscious of your sins , but go confess to your FOC. YOu will feel more relieved and light. As to u and ur girlfriend if its a fake relationship that wont lead to marriage why continue with it? As it may feel really hard to let go having to know that you'll be made fun of..it's better to be a son of God that comes bak like the prodical son, then to care about what pple think about u. If pple make fun of u tell them God forgive u. Repent and ask 4 God's forgiveness and guidance.  People will get over it you ending ur relationship with your girlfriend. Remember when Eve ate the fruit and gave it to Adam and they could then tell what's right from what's wrong. As opposed to before when they were naive. We have the gift of knowing what's right and whats wrong. Why should we walk in darkness if we are conscious that what we're doing is wrong?These things don't go on forever. This is in my opinion. It's excellent that u go to church frequently, continue to do, but please talk to your FOC.

    MAy God Bless you and help you with your struggles
  • On top of what everything Marina perfectly stated, I just want to add one comment about the girlfriend situation. Breaking up with her should not be a problem and actually the least of your worries. If she truly loves you and if you truly love her; separation would almost be the natural expression of that love, because there is no love without God and if God is not in your relationship and the priority in it then there is no need for it because a relationship is for two people to work together to get closer to God, not because you guys "love" each other. Also, if she loves you she would care about your well being including your spiritual life.. so she will let you go. you also need to let her go for sake  of her spiritual life if you truly love her. One more thing i would like to add is your feelings and emotions will get stronger for her and she likewise for you  if you wait longer,  and it will be harder to break up. Do it now and do the right thing and do as the prodical son (as marina has already mentioned) he repented IMMEDIATELY...he didnt say i will repent and go to my father tomorrow or next week, he went right away. Be wise and talk to God.
  • Mark
    I have a similar problem. Sometime I feel very strong, reading my bible, praying and all that. But other times I feel very lazy, I get tempted by almost anything and don’t feel the presence of God. Is this a common experience in ones spiritual life or am I quenching the fire of the Holy Spirit? 

    Pray for me
    In Christ
  • This happens to us (me namely) because we dont have a firm and steadfast love in God. To achieve that kind of love we must build a relationship with God and yearn to talk to Him and do good. Rather than doing good, praying, reading the Bible..etc etc out of fear of being condemned. These actions should be the natural expression of our love for Him.

    keep me in your prayers
    -chief of sinners
  • i love you all and i confessed about a week ago and im so far doing good, all of your effort and looking or memorizing of bible verses paid off, please include me in your prayers to stay on track, you dont even need to say a word about me just the meer thought of me in your prayer is all i ask for, im sure God hears all your prayers.
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