OWCH - MY BRAIN :(

edited December 1969 in Personal Issues
Ok guys so ive been going through a very tough spiritual time!
you've prob seen some of my other posts so i wont bore you with details.

An old fight in my head has returned

I am thinking of finishing my education to the full and becoming a lawyer, going on to get married and live a normal Christian life
Then im thinking of finishing my education to the full and leaving to become a monk! I constantly feel like i want to go and get closer to God, and obtain wisdom, and live with him and to have total peace in Christ away from the distractions of this earth

Yeah im still in Highschool im 10000000000% aware its too early how do i stop this little war in my head

Thanks Guys :D

Comments

  • [quote author=Christrules link=topic=8503.msg107783#msg107783 date=1258435606]
    Ok guys so ive been going through a very tough spiritual time!
    That makes two of us!

    [quote author=Christrules link=topic=8503.msg107783#msg107783 date=1258435606]
    I am thinking of finishing my education to the full and becoming a lawyer, going on to get married and live a normal Christian life
    Then im thinking of finishing my education to the full and leaving to become a monk!

    A typical fight, one that I went through.. it wasn't the prettiest. First off you need to control your thoughts and stop thinking about it because the devil will use this (seemingly good) thought and make you stray from God. How? well if you think about it so much and eventually convince yourself that monastacism is the path you want to take for your life, you will lose all motivation for school and everything you do, your reaction for everything will be "whatever i dont need this, i am going to be a monk anyway" This thought will just be your excuse for laziness, which will cause you to obviously do poorly in school and in a sense be sinning because God asked us to be faithful in all that we do. Another thing is the monastic life is a calling as you probably already know and its not really something you think about to decide at this age especially. You can only be completely sure and examine yourself for this life once your done with school ,with a job, and making money because you have something to sacrifice to pursue this desire. I have spoken to many concerning this topic and one of the things that was taught to me that ceased my constant struggle with this thought was to live my life like I am preparing and going to the path of monasticism, because whether I marry or enter the monastic life it will be to my benefit (spiritually).. so it doesnt matter knowing your path of life now. Definitely pray for Gods will about it.

    [quote author=Christrules link=topic=8503.msg107783#msg107783 date=1258435606]
    I constantly feel like i want to go and get closer to God, and obtain wisdom, and live with him and to have total peace in Christ away from the distractions of this earth

    You must already be close to God before entering, fully equipped and prepared. You must live the monastic life in the world before you attempt to live it in the desert. Once in the monastery, your in a constant war with the devil. Its a verrry hard life. I suggest you read about it and I strongly, strongly suggest you read the book The Sublimity of Monasticism as well. It will really open your eyes to the reality of what life is like in the monastery and show to you how prepared/unprepared for it you really are. One of my favorite books!

    Let me know if you dont have it, I have it on pdf, I can send it to you  along with a couple other books like paradise of the fathers and other related things ..let me know :)

    Please keep me in your prayers
    -chief of sinners
  • Joyful
    thank you so much that really helped :D
    and if you can send those over that would be great :D
  • Sure :)
    pm me your email!

    Anyone else who wants it, don't hesitate.
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