edited December 1969 in Faith Issues
Hey guys, I have alot of questions regarding the subject, please bare with me. I would appreciate all comments and answers.
What is jealousy?
How does one stop jealousy from another?
How does one examine themselves if they commit the sin of jealousy and are jealous of somebody?
If one finds jealousy within is it fixed and avoided? What practices/excercises can one do to overcome this sin?

Thanks for your time everybody and the expected great answers!

please pray for me
-a sinner


  • pickaa booo.. I love youu!! ;D
    lol..Anybody?? I would really appreciate any answers :)
  • This is a good question.

    Jealousy is a secret sin of the heart that is often unseen by those around us who therefore think we are especially holy because we do not do any of the outward and public sins, but it is far worse. Someone who commits fornication and repents may be more easily healed than someone who has allowed jealousy to root itself deeply into the heart.

    There is a jealousy that manifests itself when we see that someone has something which we would like. We may root this out of our hearts by reminding ourselves that this world is passing away, and the desire for it. In a few months or years the shiny toy we are jealous about will be tarnished and broken. Is it worth attaching our heart to? Imagine that all of the things we are jealous about are attached to us by chains and we are dragging them around with us every where we go. Is this how we want to live? Do we want our spirit to be so weighed down with the thought of earthly possessions that it is unable to rise heavenward? Surely it is better to spend out lives seeking heavenly treasure that cannot be destroyed and will last for ever?

    The fathers also teach us that when we are jealous of a person's attention, especially of the opposite sex, we should also remind ourselves that this person will soon age, and die, and his/her body will be buried and consumed. Physical strength and beauty are a passing thing, like the grass of the field. Do we want to attach our eternal wellbeing to something which is temporal? Is strength and physical beauty worth becoming jealous about when God seeks us to have a spiritual beauty and strength which is possible for all who love Him? If we have invested no time in working to acquire our own inward beauty and strength then how will we present ourselves before the Bridegroom?

    But in my own experience the worst jealousy is that which manifests itself when something good happens to someone else. This can be when someone in the family has a success in some way, or a friend, or brethren in the Church. The reward or blessing is announced and a little sneering voice pipes up in our hearts - 'that should have been you!' It is the voice of the elder brother in the Parable of the Prodigal Son. 'All that work you have done for your Dad/friend/priest, and so-and-so gets all the recognition!'.

    Have nothing to do with this voice. Pray first of all for that person, even if you do not feel it, our feelings often lead us astray and are manipulated by the enemy. 'Lord I am glad that you have blessed so-and-so in this way. Thank you Lord for rewarding his/her service. I pray that they will enjoy this moment in which their kindness/hardwork/ability is recognised'.

    Then remind yourself that you actually do not deserve any reward and that the just deserts for your own life are eternal punishment. Remind yourself that actually you have hardly begun to serve God and are not worthy of any recognition. remind yourself that God does not need your service, that there are many more intelligent people in the world, people who work even harder through necessity, people who are more easily loved and who give love more freely.

    Then thank God that even though you actually deserve nothing, rather you deserve punishment, nevertheless each day God has chosen to bless you in countless ways, and has passed over your sins and already rewarded the little that you do. Thank God that he allows you to serve him at all, that he calls you his child, and that even if the little you do is known only to God, then so are the great quantity of sins which you commit. This will make it harder for you to be jealous because as we grow in humility so we realise more and more that we deserve nothing and have been given so much already.

    The Lord bless your desire to deal with this sin

    Father Peter
  • Hi Father Peter,
    Thanks alot, that makes aloot of sense!
    However, I have another question.
    In the example you gave, if something good happens (In specific to situations out of our hands) is it jealousy if your genuinely very happy for the person, but there is just a voice or feeling that just says I wish I was there or I can do that... if that makes any sense  ???
  • I do not think it is jealousy if we wish to honestly share in some person's blessing - although that might shade into envy if we are not careful. But if it is an honest and open wish then it is not sinful.

    I mean if I hear that a friend has received some honour and I wish I could have been at the ceremony to congratulate him myself then that is not jealousy or envy. But if we allow the voice that says 'that could have been me' or even worse 'that should have been me' to be heard then we are perhaps in danger.

    It could have been me, but in the will of God it was not. Why am I wishing for things that God has not been pleased to give - I mean apart from those things which should be the subject of earnest prayer.

    The feeling or even the voice is not sin unless we give it space. If we stamp on it straight away then we will be saved from sin. This requires us to remember our own weakness in humility. Ignoring our feelings we must pray, 'Lord, I thank you that you have blessed this person in this way and I ask you to take from me any sense of jealousy at all. I already receive far more in blessing from your hand than I deserve and I am not worthy of the blessing this person has received. Fill my heart with a pure joy in considering this person's blessing and free me from the spirit of jealousy and envy that I might more clearly see how you have already blessed me even today'.

    Father Peter
  • Thanks Father Peter.
    I feel better now after your answer, Thank you.

    please keep me in your prayers
    - a sinner
  • Also, it says in the Bible that "I am a jealous God".

    God wants our hearts to be His - as far as I know. So, perhaps being a bit jealous is OK? What do u think? Maybe Im wrong?

    I can also be jealous of something good in someone and admire them? A saint for example.

    I remember once, at Uni, i saw an exhibition of the Coptic Church. A PhD student had decided to research on Coptology.

    The University had given her a large glass box in which she could exhibit her research.

    In that box, she put a picture of a monk. He was smiling, and in his eyes was so much peace. There was a sparkle in his eyes that really made me jealous. I mean really jealous. He was just smiling...

    I don't know why, but I was jealous. I really envied this monk.
  • [quote author=lydiajude link=topic=7911.msg102975#msg102975 date=1242097858]
    Jealousy is an emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, such as a relationship, friendship, or love. Jealousy often consists of a combination of emotions such as anger, sadness, and disgust. Jealousy differs from envy in that jealousy is about something one has and is afraid of losing, while envy refers to something one does not have and either wants to acquire or to prevent another from acquiring.

    Jealousy is a familiar experience in human relationships. It has been observed in infants five months old and older. [1] [2] [3] [4] Some claim that jealousy is seen in every culture, [5] [6] [7] however others claim jealousy is a culture-specific phenomenon. [8]
    how does one destroy and get rid of this anxiety and fear??
  • simply wow on how father peter commented
  • I know this post might be very old, but I'm new to the forum and felt that this topic is of high importance as it is one of the most important emotion that may destroy any relationship.
    My response is a combination of my persaonal and professional opinion.
    Father's Peter response is so great, I want to add on a spiritual level the following:
    Jealousy is not always bad as we learned from the bible: Exod. 20:5 - "I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God",
    II Cor. 11:2 - "I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy" and according to our spiritual fathers the spiritual Jealousy is good. So when the Jealousy roots and purpose is a competition to reach and acquire spiritual fruits that is a Jealousy God loves.
    On contrary there is Evil Jealousy, the subject of the question. The asking person is so insightful and smart to join the Jealousy with lack of confidence as they are tied together (I'll elaborate more to that later). So the evil Jealousy is similar to the good Jealousy in its roots (Competition), the difference it is always associated with envy instead of blessings and good wishes.
    On a spiritual level first we heard about Jealousy was about the devil himself. Because of his Arrogance he became Jealous of God and wanted to have what he has, so one of the major roots of Jealousy is (Arrogance) (I deserve better, I can have that not him, its me who should have this why him or her........etc). Arrogance is the source of all troubles and the best way to defeat it is humbleness and don't confuse that with lack of confidence as there is a fine line between both. Jealousy led to the first killing crime in the human race and if U think about it it is associated with Arrogance again.
    From clinical experience. Jealousy almost always is associated with low self esteem and lack of confidence. Lack of confidence is a complex feeling that usually the result of either multiple failures in childhood or because of constant degradation in a way or the other either by care givers or even freinds. This will result in low self esteem It is called negative emotions and it is a constant perception to the person's self regardless the success or the physical features. In breif this could be overcomed by self assurance and by looking in the person's achievemnts with satisfactions. On a therapeutic terms Cognitive behavioral therapy is a proven modality to help with this problem.
    Another simple way is to understand that everyone's skills and gifts are different. Everyone shoudl be satisfied, fullfilled with the gifts and skills he has been given through god and use them. If u failed once you may fail twice or three times or whaatever number, but there is success because you are the craetion of god and he did wonder when he created you as his picture. Beleive in his power, accept his blessings, enjoy his peace and ask for it. It wil be given to you through the holy spirit.

    I hope that was helpful. 
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