edited December 1969 in Personal Issues
Hello, i've been advised to go to this site for advice,hyms, etc.... Probebly most of you are ganna think this a stupid question... but i was woundering if kissing on the lip.... is considered as a sin. I know lusting and sex before marriage is a sin. ??? ??? ???


  • Dear Christianlover,

    Many people are going to give you verses from the Bible to answer your question, but sometimes it could be hard to follow what the Bible says if your heart is not convinced so I'm going to answer your question with another question. How would you feel knowing that your future spouse had one day kissed another? How would you feel if your future spouse was, at one point, close to another? Most likely you wouldn't feel too great...

    Even if you feel that the person you are with right now is THE one, there's always a chance that things could go wrong, even if that chance is very very small. Do you want to take that risk? Also, how much more special would it be to share that kiss with the love of your life... your spouse? Finally, the person you choose to marry will greatly appreciate the sacrifice you've made for him/her, as I'm sure you would appreciate the same sacrifice from that person. I'm not married myself, but i think it would be worth it!!

    Going back to the Bible now, God tells us, "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body," (1 Cor. 6:19-20). Because of this, two people cannot give of themselves like this to one another unless God Himself has put them together!

    Please remember me in your prayers

  • [quote author=christianlover link=topic=7727.msg100957#msg100957 date=1236971850]
    Hello, i've been advised to go to this site for advice,hyms, etc.... Probebly most of you are ganna think this a stupid question... but i was woundering if kissing on the lip.... is considered as a sin. I know lusting and sex before marriage is a sin. ??? ??? ???

    Just wondering, how can one kiss another on the lip without his/her mind and heart having a lustful desire? What would be going through your mind as you kiss - if not lustful desires?  ??? ??? ???
    Usually we would try to push the limit, get as close to the line as we can. Here is a story of a girl who was on a diet. She was very disciplined with her diet for a while. But then one day she saw a pastry shop across the street of her office. She kept on looking at the pastry for sometime until one day she reason with herself “why won’t I walk by that pastry that would not mean I will break my diet”. So she walked by the pastry and smelled the great smell cakes. That day she went back to work with a vivid memory the smell in her mind.
    The next day she went by the pastry and enjoyed the great smell of pastries. After doing this a few times she reasoned with herself “why won’t I walk into the pastry and see what they have, that would not mean I will break my diet”. So she went in and saw all the great cakes. She actually felt good about her discipline because she only saw but not buy a thing.
    After doing this a few times she reasoned with her self ““why won’t I buy some pastry, you know I can use is if I have gusts at my place, that would not mean I will break my diet” So she bought some pastry and took to her home. To make the story short one day she ends up eating the cake and breaking her diet.
    How many times we have fooled ourselves by saying, I am just going to look  :o but not kiss  :-*; I am just going to kiss  :-* but not touch; I am just going to touch but not have sex. Before we know it we have gone all the way and are left with regret. :'( Once you start pushing the limit you will keep on making new limits until there is no limit.
    Let us not entertain such thoughts to begin with. As St. Paul says flee from such sins!!!
    “Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. 19 Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, 20 for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.” 1Corinthians 6: 19-20

    May God give us the strength, especially during this fasting season, to flee from sin.
    Pray for me a sinner
    In Christ Theophilus

  • i know my boundries and limits i can control myself more than most people. and lets say i kiss i dont see how you would have lustful thoughts? sorry but im not that type that thinks about that kinda stuff... you might think you are going to have those thoughts but if you can control yourself like me...

    I'am also confused Thank's for the story but what i got from your reply was that its bad if i kiss WITH LUSTFULL THOUGHTS.

    Don't say kissing is bad just because it might lead to other things.
  • if anyone still thinks kissing is wrong or it doesn't matter please post!

    Thank You.
  • Well there are different answers for this for different situations. So to help answer I want you to answer some questions.
    Are you married?
    Are you engaged?
    How old are you? (you don't have to say exactly if you don't want to you can say a teenager or in your 20s etc.)
    Are you in a relationship?
  • Actually you say you don't think about lust and sex and all that. Most of time we think we are something but we're totally not. Or we think we're strong enough to not do a certain sin when we're really not. Look at David the Prophet and King he committed adultrey and murder and it all started from just a look. He looked at her and lusted her. ,
    "Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart." 2 Timothy 2:22.
    Having a pure heart not only means not having sex it means being pure from any worldly thing, keeping your heart pure means keeping it 100% devoted to God. When your heart is truly 100% devoted to God and when the time comes to get married you we'll see that your love is not flawed. BUT back to goes to the verse "All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful; all things are lawful for me, but not all things edify."1 Corinthians 10:23
    How does kissing help you bring yourself closer to God? What do you benefit from kissing what do you learn? Kissing is something for marriage not out of marriage

    Pray for me
  • Thanks for the reply i belive what i pretty much got from your answer was that there is no point of kissing or sex. Im guessing you never want to have sex or kiss eren when your married becuase you don't benifet from it or learn.. :-[
  • [quote author=christianlover link=topic=7727.msg101006#msg101006 date=1237088041]
    Im guessing you never want to have sex or kiss eren when your married becuase you don't benifet from it or learn.. :-[

    No God told us to be fruitful and multiply so the reason for sex during marriage is to multiply.
    this is from the booklet of H.G. Bishop Moussa Bishop of youth called youth and pure living

    sexuality is sharing in creation and through it we participate with God in perpetuating the human race. The marvelous potential God has granted us is HOLY means of continuing God's creation of the other entities that will fill the earth and will enjoy eternity in heaven. Christian marriage is spiritual union so that the individual becomes one of a pair and the 2 are 1 in the holy spirit. It is a sacrifical and generous love, not a human material contact. The idividual who wants to enter such a union must possess certain qualities and must follow certain principles in his choice of partner.

    I would say in a marriage it's ok to kiss because it is something special that only the couple shares, including sex. But if it is out of marriage how is it special? You can break up with one person and then go out with another and kiss them and then another and so on. But in marriage the couple there is that bond between them.

    Pray for me
  • Listen,

    Ask yourself how far you'd like someone to go with your wife if he doesnt marry her??

    What to you is acceptable??

    What would you like your wife to tell you that she did before marriage???

    Whatever limits you set for the girl of your dreams, set it for yourself also.

    Once you are married, nothing will matter other than the marriage.
  • Here is a canon from our early church father St. Basil. Although, this canon is originally meant for clergy’s, the spirit it was written in reflects how the early fathers looked at kissing – polluting ones lips. Therefore, the spirit in which it was written does not limit this canon to clergy’s only. Hopefully, this will help us to clarify some point concerning kissing.
    canon lxx. of St. Basil, which says, "A deacon polluted in lips (en cheilesi)" or who has approached to the kiss of a woman "and confesses that he has so sinned, is to be interdicted his ministry," that is to say is to be prohibited its exercise for a time. "But he shall not be deemed unworthy to communicate in sacris with the deacons. The same is also the case with a presbyter. But if anyone shall go any further in sin than this, no matter what his grade, he shall be deposed.
    May we strengthen one another during this Fast.
    Pray for me a sinner
  • i agree with theophilus1.
    there are people who didn't get clear teaching on kissing before marriage, and so had to have a very short engagement coz it was soooooooo hard waiting!
    don't do it, it doesn't help you at all in anything except to switch on some thoughts that are really hard to switch off.
    even if you only think about kissing and not a full physical relationship, if you spend your hours dreaming of the next kiss (or hug or bottom-squeezing or whatever it is leading too...) then you have less time to pray agpeya, go to church, talk seriously with God about your future, encourage your friends in their relationships with God etc etc
    don't do it, and if you did it ask for help/advice from your FOC about avoiding it next time.
  • why would i think about our next kiss i could care less its a small kiss on the lips when we meet each other. i spend most of my time outside and playign with my friends and guess what i still have a lot of time to do the stuff you said i didn't have time for?? so lets say i do get into a relashinship i'l spend that time i usually do with my firends with that other person. :-\ :-\
  • sorry guys for having both the posts up with the same meanings just wanted to reply to those people.
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