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Need Some Real Advice
I need some advice. I really admire this girl in church. She and I are very spiritual, in that we always put God first in our lives. I am a senior and she is a junior in high school. We both know that it is wrong to date and have a relationship during high school. But, what if we are both spiritually mature enough? Isn't that the criteria to know if you're ready for a serious relationship or not? I don't like this girl because of her looks alone, but because she is very spiritual and we both have that, as well as MANY other traits in common.
My main question is, why can't I at least get to know her? We will both be applying for colleges soon, what if the opportunity just fades away? What if she and I go to different colleges? What if she eventually meets someone else?
I have been praying a lot about this and I think God has been trying to tell me something...and I think it’s leaning to talking to her.
Please tell me your opinions on this, I would really appreciate it.
My main question is, why can't I at least get to know her? We will both be applying for colleges soon, what if the opportunity just fades away? What if she and I go to different colleges? What if she eventually meets someone else?
I have been praying a lot about this and I think God has been trying to tell me something...and I think it’s leaning to talking to her.
Please tell me your opinions on this, I would really appreciate it.
Comments
PK
I need some advice. I really admire this girl in church. She and I are very spiritual, in that we always put God first in our lives. I am a senior and she is a junior in high school. We both know that it is wrong to date and have a relationship during high school. But, what if we are both spiritually mature enough? Isn't that the criteria to know if you're ready for a serious relationship or not? I don't like this girl because of her looks alone, but because she is very spiritual and we both have that, as well as MANY other traits in common.
My main question is, why can't I at least get to know her? We will both be applying for colleges soon, what if the opportunity just fades away? What if she and I go to different colleges? What if she eventually meets someone else?
I have been praying a lot about this and I think God has been trying to tell me something...and I think it’s leaning to talking to her.
Please tell me your opinions on this, I would really appreciate it.
one point i you need to understand...being "spiritually mature enough", as you have said, is not the "criteria" for dating, it's only part of it. the full criteria is to be "Physically, financially, spiritually, and somthin else"
search here on forum for topics about dating, read all those loooooooooong topics, and maybe ask again here.
there is no point to have this as a whole new post again about dating.
God Bless,
Copt Andrew
I once asked my spiritual father the same question, and he told me that there is a time and place for everything. Ask yourself this, is this really the right time for a relationship?
I enjoy the topic of dating too much… because it’s one of the easiest traps, and I have an interest in the study of demons and their ways! But not only that, but in the past I would say five-six years I’ve been researching a lot about relationships… and most of my relationship “search” was by me myself dating. Now I don’t want my response to be for dating in general, but to be especially for you! So here goes! So being close to God be ready for the devil to tempt you… and remember the devil is very tricky.
So let’s go back to the first recorded temptation… Satan comes to woman and tells her this is the rule… BUT you really won’t die…
Now its time for me to quote you right?! You know the rule, but you want to put BUT in it… you want to question it… “I don’t like this girl because of her looks alone…” so there is an attraction, a bodily attraction, which by the help of the devil, who as you can see is already working to help you… will make the sin easier to be done! So if you care for her and “like” this girl you would not want her to sin… or do anything wrong?! So why would you set her up to fall?!
Now the devil is tricky… he sees her spiritual, and wants her to fall… so think about it, do you really want her to lose her spirituality? And you the same you are spiritual, and starting a rout close to God, and the devil doesn’t really like seeing this, and wants you to fall also… so he thought about what he could do, and he put the idea of a relationship in your minds and you accepted it… so now he will trying pushing it to maybe a hug… a kiss… a touch... and the rest is history, as they all say!
And once again the devil is tricky, you and someone else might have the same “common traits” but that does not mean anything, but you’re attracted to her, and the devil (if you go along with the idea) plans to use you both as an instrument to drag each other down!
I can feel fear from your questions… one of my favorite hallmark sayings… “If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it’s yours forever. If it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be.” Don’t be scared to lose her, if she’s yours to be then she’ll be yours! NO!!! that’s what YOU want… not what God wants, God told you what He wants through the rules… if you want to really know what God wants, hear His words… “Stand still, and see the salvation of the LORD, which He will accomplish for you today.”
akhad el baraka... neshkor allah!
You have a really nice name actually.
Be calm during this period. Pray often for guidance. Pray that if she's the right one for you, then God will give her to you at the right time.
I'm sure everything will work out just fine.
One question though...
[quote author=SuperMAN(BAM) link=topic=7102.msg94270#msg94270 date=1220978410]
And once again the devil is tricky, you and someone else might have the same “common traits” but that does not mean anything, but you’re attracted to her, and the devil (if you go along with the idea) plans to use you both as an instrument to drag each other down!
What if we use each other as an instrument to bring each other up? I think that if we are both committed to God, and we both love God more than each other, I think its possible to develop a fruitful, pre-marriage relationship. The devil has many traps, but can't they be overcome if both partners latch on to God first?
Wow...All of your responses are terrific. They all have been EXTREMELY helpful to me. I'm getting the point...
One question though...
[quote author=SuperMAN(BAM) link=topic=7102.msg94270#msg94270 date=1220978410]
And once again the devil is tricky, you and someone else might have the same “common traits” but that does not mean anything, but you’re attracted to her, and the devil (if you go along with the idea) plans to use you both as an instrument to drag each other down!
What if we use each other as an instrument to bring each other up? I think that if we are both committed to God, and we both love God more than each other, I think its possible to develop a fruitful, pre-marriage relationship. The devil has many traps, but can't they be overcome if both partners latch on to God first?
I am sorry but you would have to be a saint for both of you to not develop some sort of physical interaction like kissing and so on. No matter how high you think you are spiritually, you will not be able to control yourself. Things escalate very fast and I for one know through some experience that you can not have a close relationship without there being some physicality. Plus, neither of you have the time nor the commitment for having a relationship. Right now you should be concentrating on your studies and your spiritual life. I guarantee that a few years from now, you see the foolishness of starting a relationship. Don't be a fool, concentrate on school!
GB
Tony
What is the problem exactly?
I'm glad you like/attracted to a Coptic girl. That's great news.
Why not wait until you've finished your studies, and she's finished hers before you make any serious committment??
Also, during that period - why not be friends? Enjoy single life a bit?? travel... go out..
What are u so concerned about?
Sorry man, but maybe I'm missing something here.
What is the problem exactly?
I'm glad you like/attracted to a Coptic girl. That's great news.
Why not wait until you've finished your studies, and she's finished hers before you make any serious committment??
Also, during that period - why not be friends? Enjoy single life a bit?? travel... go out..
What are u so concerned about?
I like your logic QT_PA_2T. But in all honesty, I'm afraid of losing her to someone else. Let's just say that I may not be the only one who admires her. You don't come across the perfect girl everyday you know...especially in this day and age!
You don't come across the perfect girl everyday you know...especially in this day and age!
she can be perfect in ur eyes but not God's. If God wants her to you, you'll get her....just do what you are supposed to be doing in your life right now.
[quote author=QT_PA_2T link=topic=7102.msg94281#msg94281 date=1220996152]
Sorry man, but maybe I'm missing something here.
What is the problem exactly?
I'm glad you like/attracted to a Coptic girl. That's great news.
Why not wait until you've finished your studies, and she's finished hers before you make any serious committment??
Also, during that period - why not be friends? Enjoy single life a bit?? travel... go out..
What are u so concerned about?
I like your logic QT_PA_2T. But in all honesty, I'm afraid of losing her to someone else. Let's just say that I may not be the only one who admires her. You don't come across the perfect girl everyday you know...especially in this day and age!
Well that's really sweet Kyrillos. I think admiration of someone's virtues is a good start when chosing a wife.
So, if I understand correctly, you are happy to wait, but you are concerned that whilst waiting someone else will take her.
Well, your concern is really understandable. The question you should be asking yourself is whether she's perfect for you. Not whether she's perfect or not. But, chosing a wife is a personal issue. People look / want different things. I cannot tell you that she's anything less or more than what yo know of her.
Are you concerned that she'll date other guys? I think everyone here really needs to know your age and her age. I mean, if you were say 14 and she was 13.. I think the responses you'd get would be TOTALLY different than if you were 21 and she was 20.
I Know that i should be the last one to advice you because i am the weakest
but i wanted you to remember this verse " For she (sin) has cast down many wounded,
And all who were slain by her were strong men. " proverbs 7:26 NKJV
just remember that one thing would lead to another and things can happen
remember the story of King David if we talk about his spirituality, he was one of prophets and he sinned with that lady.
i Heard a sermon in arabic and Abona was talking about a story that is A Little bit similar to yours
it was about a guy who had a friend who needed help with her homewoek . He went to his father of confession and he told him that he helps this girl with her homework and he talks to her about God and he is trying to get her to come close to God. so his father of confession warned him and told him that she might get you down. so the guy left his father of confession upset and said that he is strong and he is not weak and he wil not sin with her
after many weaks the father of confession met that guy and asked him he has not seen his
so the guy told his FOC that he is shy because he sined with this girl like his FOC said.
so ask your FOC and see what he tells you
and don't worry about her knowing another guy, if God wants you to marry this girl in the future he will keep her for you
hope that i helped and pray for us
Hi kyrrilos
I Know that i should be the last one to advice you because i am the weakest
but i wanted you to remember this verse " For she (sin) has cast down many wounded,
And all who were slain by her were strong men. " proverbs 7:26 NKJV
just remember that one thing would lead to another and things can happen
remember the story of King David if we talk about his spirituality, he was one of prophets and he sinned with that lady.
i Heard a sermon in arabic and Abona was talking about a story that is A Little bit similar to yours
it was about a guy who had a friend who needed help with her homewoek . He went to his father of confession and he told him that he helps this girl with her homework and he talks to her about God and he is trying to get her to come close to God. so his father of confession warned him and told him that she might get you down. so the guy left his father of confession upset and said that he is strong and he is not weak and he wil not sin with her
after many weaks the father of confession met that guy and asked him he has not seen his
so the guy told his FOC that he is shy because he sined with this girl like his FOC said.
so ask your FOC and see what he tells you
and don't worry about her knowing another guy, if God wants you to marry this girl in the future he will keep her for you
hope that i helped and pray for us
This is very wise advice.