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Embarssment
I'm a young deacon in my blessed church. I learn to the best of my ability's. Many parents want me to teach there childeren which is a blessing. But the thing is I am a very neverous person. I can lead a congergation stading beside my budies(I am the mallam in the aashaya's)but i get very nervous when no one is there to help me out. Like in pasha i sang the 11th hour psalm on wensday and i was nervous as crazy i messed up a few times then abouna came and helped my out thank the Lord he did.
Comments
Someone has to help the young deacons, and if it's not you it will be some one else (hopefully) and everyone messes up, so don't think of yourself being emberasssed, think of the pppl your helping, and noone's gonna judge you in your own class, and no one expects you to be perfect.
and you mentioned that your not as nervous when you have help, well than, make it a group of effort, you and the other deacons can teach together, and everyone can learn something.
Your story sounds a lot like mine. I was almost terrified at the thought of having to lead a Mass early on when I first took a serious interest in service.
...but I've got to tell you, the one way I seem to overcome my fears, whether as a deacon, Sunday School servant or as part of my job on a daily basis, is very simple:
BE PREPARED!!!
That is the honest truth of the matter. Even after so many years of service, I admit I still get a bit nervous. However, now it is usually only on occasions when I'm chanting a new hymn for the first time. Other than that, I find being prepared coupled with plenty of practise at home (sometimes even playing the cymbals while standing up in front of a mirror!) is the easiest way of controlling those nerves when it's "showtime".
From my perspective:
A lack of preparation breeds fear of failure
A fear of failure breeds failure
Failure is remedied by practise and preparation
...and at the end of the day, if you practise and still make a mistake, DON'T WORRY! It's not the best feeling in the world, but it happens to all of us! Believe me, I know!
Look at it this way: if a priest, who has prayed hundreds, if not thousands, of Masses during the course of his life still makes mistakes, surely then we, young servants, are allowed to make a few mistakes of our own. We are all human.
Just do what I've suggested and one other thing: try to picture your success while practising. If you have this mental picture in your mind as to how you will perform on the occasion, chances are, that is how it really will be.
Ooh, and lastly...
Rabena ma'ak!!
Your friend,
M ;D
sorry i didn't finish the entire thing but my point is im very embaressed can any help me with my problem
Yeah, I had the same problem. It was hilarious. I was so nervous. They used to make us stand alone in the 3ashaya. I was once standing there, and all of a sudden all my mates and the elders went away. It was just me and abouna. Showdown time.
He knew I was nervous.
I knew he was busy.
I didnt wanna show him i was nervous, and that I was intimidated by him.
We looked at each other in the eye...
I was shaking inside, but I didnt want to show it, so to make sure he wouldnt take advantage of me.
I started to do all the doxologies I knew. I couldnt let the saints down by missing a verse or doxology for them. ABouna didnt like that. He tried to rush me, but i managed to sing above his voice, and he started to join in... But he overtook me... and jumped to the doxology of Saint Freg.
I didnt know that. I couldn't swing it. He KNEW where he could hurt me, and yes, it hurt bad. He ended up doing the entire doxology for Saint Freg all by himself. I stood there helpless... waiting.... waiting for an absolution... everyone looked at me as if to say :"Ahh poor kid, he'll never learn!". I WAS ONLY 7 YEARS OLD AND HE CRUSHED ME!!!!
I never went to CHurch again for a LOOOONNNNGGGG time. It crushes your self esteem.
I could never face abouna again either. He had won. I had failed. I was now at his disposal to go and do whatever he wanted.
Anyway, a few years passed.... and i was abouna's personal assistent and servant... but I had grew stronger... I started to learn the doxology for Saint Freg. I didnt know him personally, but I knew that I had to show that I could be better than him. Hence I learnt Anba Antonios' and Anba Paula's doxology too. By 13, I was there again... all alone, with abouna. Just him and me. No one else... except for a few old women that had nothing to do on a saturday evening were in Church.
I started the tasbeha. He followed. I jumped to a saint to get him off his guard. He thought it would be the angels.. but no! I did Kirious Isos Pikherestos (for the apostles!). He knew it, and caught up with me... i switched to arabic.. he switched to English.. he was hinting that he was in a rush. I couldnt let him humilate me again... I increased my pace, he followed. Now he was following me... I was the leader... he was my assistant. Yes.. i felt like a real bonified mo3alim. After we had finished the tasbeha.. i looked around.. I had grin on my face... and i felt good. I told him :"Listen, why don't u go in the alter and get the shoria and raise some incense a bit???"
I actually cracked up while reading your post, QT_PA_2T. I don't think I've ever seen or heard (or imagined) a rivalry between priest and deacon that even comes remotely close to yours.
But you've got to tell me...and I think we're all probably wondering...will there be a rematch any time soon?? Because if there is, I know who I'll be betting on (figuratively speaking, just before you hardliners out there write and tell me it's wrong to gamble) ;D
p.s. See, ps_730!! We've all got our deacon stories to tell...
[quote author=ps_730 link=topic=5597.msg74745#msg74745 date=1185161637]
sorry i didn't finish the entire thing but my point is im very embaressed can any help me with my problem
Yeah, I had the same problem. It was hilarious. I was so nervous. They used to make us stand alone in the 3ashaya. I was once standing there, and all of a sudden all my mates and the elders went away. It was just me and abouna. Showdown time.
He knew I was nervous.
I knew he was busy.
I didnt wanna show him i was nervous, and that I was intimidated by him.
We looked at each other in the eye...
I was shaking inside, but I didnt want to show it, so to make sure he wouldnt take advantage of me.
I started to do all the doxologies I knew. I couldnt let the saints down by missing a verse or doxology for them. ABouna didnt like that. He tried to rush me, but i managed to sing above his voice, and he started to join in... But he overtook me... and jumped to the doxology of Saint Freg.
I didnt know that. I couldn't swing it. He KNEW where he could hurt me, and yes, it hurt bad. He ended up doing the entire doxology for Saint Freg all by himself. I stood there helpless... waiting.... waiting for an absolution... everyone looked at me as if to say :"Ahh poor kid, he'll never learn!". I WAS ONLY 7 YEARS OLD AND HE CRUSHED ME!!!!
I never went to CHurch again for a LOOOONNNNGGGG time. It crushes your self esteem.
I could never face abouna again either. He had won. I had failed. I was now at his disposal to go and do whatever he wanted.
Anyway, a few years passed.... and i was abouna's personal assistent and servant... but I had grew stronger... I started to learn the doxology for Saint Freg. I didnt know him personally, but I knew that I had to show that I could be better than him. Hence I learnt Anba Antonios' and Anba Paula's doxology too. By 13, I was there again... all alone, with abouna. Just him and me. No one else... except for a few old women that had nothing to do on a saturday evening were in Church.
I started the tasbeha. He followed. I jumped to a saint to get him off his guard. He thought it would be the angels.. but no! I did Kirious Isos Pikherestos (for the apostles!). He knew it, and caught up with me... i switched to arabic.. he switched to English.. he was hinting that he was in a rush. I couldnt let him humilate me again... I increased my pace, he followed. Now he was following me... I was the leader... he was my assistant. Yes.. i felt like a real bonified mo3alim. After we had finished the tasbeha.. i looked around.. I had grin on my face... and i felt good. I told him :"Listen, why don't u go in the alter and get the shoria and raise some incense a bit???"
Not to be rude, but when you are leading then an Abouna comes out of respect you should just automatically let him lead. NO MATTER what. I mean why would you trying to overpower your abouna that there shows no respect and having TOOO much pride in yourself. Praising God is not a competition on who knows more it has to come out from your heart not by knowing better.
Just my two cents God Bless,
]Not to be rude, but when you are leading then an Abouna comes out of respect you should just automatically let him lead. NO MATTER what. I mean why would you trying to overpower your abouna that there shows no respect and having TOOO much pride in yourself. Praising God is not a competition on who knows more it has to come out from your heart not by knowing better.
Just my two cents God Bless,
Well, I was only a kid, and abouna had no right to harrass me in speeding up or finishing the tasbeha soon so he could go home to his wife and drink tea with crumpets. Its not fair. I went to the vespers early, to have a good time and enjoy praising the Lord through his saints.
As soon as he stepped out of the alter, he looked at me and said "Yalla! We're running late".
THat drives me crazy.
If we were running late, why then jump to Saint Freg??
I couldnt let my saints down: Saint Mina, Saint George, Saint Anthony the Great... Saint Markarious, Saint Demiana, Saint Micheal!!! The ARchangels, the 24 priests.... its not fair...
He wants to go home and spend time with his Miss Abouna Tasoni, then he shouldnt do it on the expense of others.
But it ALL worked out ok... we are friends now.
When I managed to find a few saint's doxology that he didnt know, and i showed him who was boss, things changed between us.. we became friends. I used call him Bebo, and he calls me Sayedna.
And that's great, cos now we work as a team. I'd be like telling him :"Bebo, look, let's do Saint Michal, the Angels, Saint George and Saint Mina, and then Kerios Isos Pi'ekristos (for the apostles)."
He'd say :"Yeah, but sayedna, we can't, its not the feast of the apostles!?? " I'd say: "Ma3lesh ya bebo, God loves a cheerful giver"
ANd we do the tasbeha together now in peace and love.
1. Just say a quick prayer in your head before you start
2. Just pretend that no one else is in the room or picture yourself just sitting in your room practicing or something and if that doesn't work
3. Pick a spot on a wall and just concentrate on it so that you won't get sidetracked by the crowd
4. Then there's a famous classic of picturing everyone in their underwear :)
Well I hope these tips could help you
I'm a young deacon in my blessed church. I learn to the best of my ability's. Many parents want me to teach there childeren which is a blessing. But the thing is I am a very neverous person. I can lead a congergation stading beside my budies(I am the mallam in the aashaya's)but i get very nervous when no one is there to help me out. Like in pasha i sang the 11th hour psalm on wensday and i was nervous as crazy i messed up a few times then abouna came and helped my out thank the Lord he did.
lets first say that every person have a talent that God granted him to use. as u first said, people want you to teach others. if u don't know how to teach, considering the fact that u said ur a young deacon, than just don't teach. if u try to do somthing that u are not set to do, especially in church matters, than it can get ugly and u might mislead others.
anothr small thing, easy on the 'Muallem' word.
now if it's alhan wise, i guess many have said that u always need to know that ur doing this to God, not any one else. people might care about how good ur voice is, but God doesn't...He only cares about what's in ur heart.
[quote author=ps_730 link=topic=5597.msg74745#msg74745 date=1185161637]
sorry i didn't finish the entire thing but my point is im very embaressed can any help me with my problem
i don't think the word 'embaressed' is the rit word here, but shy is. u can't be embaressed of what u do to your God and your service. you can always be shy and u'll get over it....but u can't be embaressed.
God Bless U All
QT_PA_2T
Ok, like some other people said... that is really rude that you talk about your Abouna like this... and also like they said, Abouna leads when he comes out and that should be the end of the story... He leads and you follow and you learn from him not try to embarass him. ANd it's rude to sya that he wants to hurry up the mass to spend time wiht "Miss Abouna Tasoni" ... Abouna likes to pray if you haven't noticed... And Abouna doesn't wanna hurt you... he wants to teach you.. and you shouldn't try to crush abouna... that's rude.
And I noticed you didn't once try to sit down and talk to him.. It would have been different if you had tried.. (and i wasn't trying to be mean when I said this but the way you describe the story and abouna... that's not a nice story
don't bother talking about this to Vassilios.....him and priest always have problems...soooo.....
/
mahraeel
plzz p4m SISTER IN CHRIST
he said
he used to be BEYOND SHY...to the point of extremes /phobia
so how he fixed it
he said his churhc leader made him go infront of everyone during the
aasheya prayers and read the agpeya out loud......he mite have messed up but it helped him get over his shyness
as for me when i get shy and embarrased for example during a reading or response or anythign...i try my hardest to focus on what im saying that way:
1 - i do what im supposed to
2 - i get my mind off of myslef