Best Place to Meet Future Spouse?

edited July 2007 in Personal Issues
Hello,

THere were posts here asking whether or not one could find love on the internet, then there were posts on whether dating is right or wrong, then there were posts on how to meet Coptic Christians in the Diaspora.

So, I'd like to know, what is the most ideal way for you to meet your future spouse?

What way would you prefer to have met or to meet your future spouse?

What way does the Church suggest??

And finally, how did you meet for your wife/fiance?

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Comments

  • [quote author=QT_PA_2T link=topic=5529.msg73862#msg73862 date=1183724710]
    Hello,

    THere were posts here asking whether or not one could find love on the internet, then there were posts on whether dating is right or wrong, then there were posts on how to meet Coptic Christians in the Diaspora.

    So, I'd like to know, what is the most ideal way for you to meet your future spouse?

    What way would you prefer to have met or to meet your future spouse?

    What way does the Church suggest??


    You can find all of your answers and more here:
    Real Dating - 1-5
  • [quote author=QT_PA_2T link=topic=5529.msg73869#msg73869 date=1183734423]


    What about here in the west:



    when you mean west... west of the world? like the US or...oh well... it doesnt make a difference ( well to me )

    anyways, i think the best way you would meet your spouse, is as a friend you have known for a while and then you start getting into relationships..you would know more about her.

    thats my opinion

  • Dear QT,

    I thought you'd cracked that one and could give us all advice?? ;)

    But seriously, you are right, it can be a problem in the west. One should not use the Church as a dating bureau, but obviously it is the best place in the west to meet fellow Copts.

    On another thread we are discussing the merits, or otherwise, if the Internet - that might be another possibility. Often the best way is via friends.

    I know that my youngest daughter, who is nearly 21, is very happy to have met a nice young man through mutual friends; she feels that the whole 'dating game' can be a bit of a 'meat market'; which is a bit sad.

    In Christ,

    Anglian

  • I find it amusing the comment above about a spouse being your "second half". It is like saying you need the other person to function- that your an object to the other spouse. I believe that is fictitious. It is true you become one with your spouse, but you are one right now, and God is always the one who makes as whole- for the created can't make sense of themselves without going back to the Creator.
  • [quote author=QT_PA_2T link=topic=5529.msg73869#msg73869 date=1183734423]
    Mina,

    My question wasnt about who or how to date. It was the ideal way you expect to meet your Coptic-Half?!



    hmmmmmmmmm...did u try to listen to the lactures.........NO.
    becasue if you would of done that u would of gotten ur answer.
  • [quote author=QT_PA_2T link=topic=5529.msg74017#msg74017 date=1184076809]
    [quote author=minagir link=topic=5529.msg73889#msg73889 date=1183817631]
    [quote author=QT_PA_2T link=topic=5529.msg73869#msg73869 date=1183734423]
    Mina,

    My question wasnt about who or how to date. It was the ideal way you expect to meet your Coptic-Half?!



    hmmmmmmmmm...did u try to listen to the lactures.........NO.
    becasue if you would of done that u would of gotten ur answer.


    Hi Minus,
    Actually, i only read the documentation (sermon handouts). I didnt listen to the sermon itself.

    Could you summarise it?


    to much things to summrize. and since i am a person who doesn't like long posts, i can't do that. u have to listen to the sermons to beneift.

    anddddd....it's Mina
  • is it me or are there lots of topics about the same thing?
  • [quote author=He Wept link=topic=5529.msg74027#msg74027 date=1184095914]
    is it me or are there lots of topics about the same thing?


    well i guess according to vassilios, all of the prevous topics, lead to this topic.
    i think we'll hear about finding the right girl soon.
  • lol, i thought that was pretty funny. anyways. "QT_PA_2T" ( whatever that means )... i think everyone who has an opinion about this has already posted it.. and if you still want more ideas or an eduacated answer, you should read books by bishops etc. and listen to sermons as mina has said. and if your not capable of listening to audio... i dont know what else you want...
  • since your interested in personal opinions why dont you start us off???
    how did YOU meet ur fiance?
  • Oh my gosh...all these questions- why would anyone even bother?  :P
  • lol i reckon aye....
    im confused...first its a general question then its a personal question then its general and now its personal again........ive given my answer........
  • Lol I really really understand what you are saying aye,
    bascially I have the same problem here in the city that I live in, coptics are very small community (only about 50 families), so all the girls in my church are just friends and I'm worried that I will not find the correct person.
    Welll... but personally as a 23 year old guy, i would like to meet her in church, maybe as someone new that comes to church and then we meet, fell in love, and then get married, ahh how sweet that would be,
    anyways,

    salam
  • [quote author=QT_PA_2T link=topic=5529.msg74366#msg74366 date=1184677870]

    What is the probability of meeting a girl in a Coptic Church where you only have 50 families??

    But, pray and see what happens. You could go to egypt, but what would happen is this: if u were not born in Egypt, and lived all your life outside egypt, i doubt that you'd be able to marry a girl from Egypt.


    well i really have to agree. i, only lived here in the US for 6 yrs, and wont be able to marry from egy.
    just to much diffrence and hard to search. i mean it can be a good idea but just hard to manage.
  • hahahah i finally understand wat u meant by this thread n ur questions!!! took awhile
    but i wont give u the pleasure of knowing wat i think hhahhahahaha

    FA!!
  • I just went to a marriage where the couple met at ECCYC.
  • [coptic]+ Iryny nem `hmot>[/coptic]

    If I recall, ECCYC = East Coast Coptic Youth Convention.  East coast here referring to the US.
  • well that's what the graduate and the college eccyc are known for.... ;D
    sad rit......................
  • [quote author=QT_PA_2T link=topic=5529.msg74378#msg74378 date=1184689538]

    Yeah, so Sayedna's are playing cupid here, and all this youth convention is to make sure the youth build friendships, and hopfully, these friendships can result in shabka's and marriage contracts.


    lol.....well that's how is it known between us youth......not clergy members.


    What a nightmare.

    Are there any other options??

    that's why u shouldn't care as much. if u put ur trust in God, He'll do what's rit for u......if you let Him.
  • [quote author=QT_PA_2T link=topic=5529.msg74378#msg74378 date=1184689538]

    I do agree with it; i just think its hard to stay in touch with someone that u've met for only 3 days in a convention.



    3 days is plenty of time to get sumone's numba ;)
  • I don't think it is important when and where you meet- unless it was an ominous place, like your girlfriend's house lol. No.

  • i also agree, it doesnt rele matter where you meet. it matters what he relationship turns out to be. as long as you meet. talk. spend time together. have the same interests, and everything that was in like the 5 different topics about this lol
  • [quote author=He Wept link=topic=5529.msg74435#msg74435 date=1184771999]
    i also agree, it doesnt rele matter where you meet. it matters what he relationship turns out to be. as long as you meet. talk. spend time together. have the same interests, and everything that was in like the 5 different topics about this lol

    Yeah, but as a Coptic Christian, you cannot guarantee meeting someone coptic where u live. U will be obliged to marry someone from the small pool of choice you have.

    So, how would u like to meet him? Would u like it then that he just goes up to one of your parents and says "Excuse me, i met ur daughter in CHurch, and i want to know her more to marry her?"

    WHat??


    it will be highly unlikely to meet a coptic person in a romantic setting. It will always be in the Church or a youth convention.
  • [quote author=QT_PA_2T link=topic=5529.msg74436#msg74436 date=1184772181]
    [quote author=He Wept link=topic=5529.msg74435#msg74435 date=1184771999]
    i also agree, it doesnt rele matter where you meet. it matters what he relationship turns out to be. as long as you meet. talk. spend time together. have the same interests, and everything that was in like the 5 different topics about this lol

    Yeah, but as a Coptic Christian, you cannot guarantee meeting someone coptic where u live. U will be obliged to marry someone from the small pool of choice you have.

    So, how would u like to meet him? Would u like it then that he just goes up to one of your parents and says "Excuse me, i met ur daughter in CHurch, and i want to know her more to marry her?"

    WHat??


    it will be highly unlikely to meet a coptic person in a romantic setting. It will always be in the Church or a youth convention.



    when you meet him/her, it doesnt have to be romantic, what if you end up marrying someone you've known for years, or as a little child, and met by your parents knowing thier parents? it could be. but if you meet in a church or convention, theres nothing wrong with that... even if its the same church as yours.
  • [quote author=He Wept link=topic=5529.msg74437#msg74437 date=1184772387]
    [quote author=QT_PA_2T link=topic=5529.msg74436#msg74436 date=1184772181]
    [quote author=He Wept link=topic=5529.msg74435#msg74435 date=1184771999]
    i also agree, it doesnt rele matter where you meet. it matters what he relationship turns out to be. as long as you meet. talk. spend time together. have the same interests, and everything that was in like the 5 different topics about this lol

    Yeah, but as a Coptic Christian, you cannot guarantee meeting someone coptic where u live. U will be obliged to marry someone from the small pool of choice you have.

    So, how would u like to meet him? Would u like it then that he just goes up to one of your parents and says "Excuse me, i met ur daughter in CHurch, and i want to know her more to marry her?"

    WHat??


    it will be highly unlikely to meet a coptic person in a romantic setting. It will always be in the Church or a youth convention.



    when you meet him/her, it doesnt have to be romantic, what if you end up marrying someone you've known for years, or as a little child, and met by your parents knowing thier parents? it could be. but if you meet in a church or convention, theres nothing wrong with that... even if its the same church as yours.


    No. There's nothing wrong with it. But my question was: what is the BEST place you would like to meet your future husband/wife - and why?
  • ok, well now i think, there is no Best way to meet. if you meet in church, and some1 else meets in a "romantic" place, they will both end up the same. one of them won't be better as the other.
  • [quote author=He Wept link=topic=5529.msg74439#msg74439 date=1184772734]
    ok, well now i think, there is no Best way to meet. if you meet in church, and some1 else meets in a "romantic" place, they will both end up the same. one of them won't be better as the other.

    Im not saying which is better... im saying which would YOU prefer!?

    For me, i'd prefer to have met her outside of Church. In Church, you can't really talk. In a youth conference, you can't really chat and get to know someone without others looking at u,

    Wouldn't you love it if a man asked u for a dance in an open air folklore dance festival, with an open air band, on a hot summer's afternoon by a river, dancing and talking until the sun sets?

    Wouldnt that be ideal??

    Cos, getting to know a girl in Church is so hard after the mass, and it feels awkward, and unnatural.

    Don't u think???
  • well, i agree with you with the church part, you guys would know each  other better...

    [quote author=QT_PA_2T link=topic=5529.msg74440#msg74440 date=1184773121]
    [quote author=He Wept link=topic=5529.msg74439#msg74439 date=1184772734]
    ok, well now i think, there is no Best way to meet. if you meet in church, and some1 else meets in a "romantic" place, they will both end up the same. one of them won't be better as the other.

    Im not saying which is better... im saying which would YOU prefer!?


    well im sorry, i kinda got the idea of best place from the thread name... "BEST Place to Meet Spouse" lol
  • [quote author=He Wept link=topic=5529.msg74441#msg74441 date=1184773360]
    well, i agree with you with the church part, you guys would know each  other better...

    [quote author=QT_PA_2T link=topic=5529.msg74440#msg74440 date=1184773121]
    [quote author=He Wept link=topic=5529.msg74439#msg74439 date=1184772734]
    ok, well now i think, there is no Best way to meet. if you meet in church, and some1 else meets in a "romantic" place, they will both end up the same. one of them won't be better as the other.

    Im not saying which is better... im saying which would YOU prefer!?


    well im sorry, i kinda got the idea of best place from the thread name... "BEST Place to Meet Spouse" lol


    I don't understand, u agree that meeting in church is better??

    OK which is better : scenario 1 or 2:

    scenario 1: You go to CHurch and pray, and some guy you meet, you hardly know comes up to you and asks you for a coffee after the mass.

    scenario 2: You're at a folklore dance festival near the river, In summer time with a few friends. A young man comes up to u and asks u if you'd like to have a dance? You agree, and get someone to teach you both. It turns out he's coptic like you.


    Which one would YOU prefer???
  • when i said i prefer church, i meant you guys Already know each other. and if you guys didn't, i think he shouldnt ask her out yet. they should talk to each other more, and hang out with friends...
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