friends and relationships =/

edited December 1969 in Youth Corner
so you and all ur friends are about 14-17 years old. and two of ur friends are "bf and gf" while two others like eachother and know it and both pairs are trying to set u up with one of ur bff but u only like him as a friend and dont want a bf. Everything is a complete infatuation and u love ur friends but one day...things arent going to be the same and u only gonna lose ur friendship with some of them cuz there WILL be fights and break ups.
so you go to this party and everyone is drunk and you are too, now ur sitting there thinking while you're drunk and u kinda want a bf but u dont like anyone u kno...and u kno its not gonna last and be true; =/ but all ur friends keep pushing u and no matter how many times u say no...they continue. you love them sooooo much and you dont wanna lose them but at the same time, they arent the best of u give in to what they say and do whatever just to keep their friendship or do u stop being friends with them completely because you dont wanna get hurt and ruin ur life...these ppl are ur second family and u've grown up with them in the church and known them all ur life...but they arent as close to God as they used to be and u dont wanna see them fall away from God yet...u urself dont wanna lose God either?? I guess im saying....what do you do when you're soo far away from God and need help to get back up while your best friend (almost brothers and sisters) are pulling u away, not on purpose...but through the tiniest things in do u stay strong and keep ur friends while not losing God? You're a 15 year old girl and u and ur friends need to change their ways but they dont realize it and u dont know how?


  • lol, first of all i want to congratulate you for the way that you expressed your story, I'm quite glad from you
    Lol lots of people actually face this problem, but you can start solving the problem by first talking to your friends and telling them that you don't like the way that they behave.  Do that and tell them that you love them so much and that you want them to be close to God because you love God and them.

    If they didn't respond, you will have to ask yourself one question: Who is important: God or your friends?? its says on the bible (sorry i can't remember the exact words): God is supposed to be obeyed before people.  Your spiritual life is the most important thing.  I know i might sound like a priest but believe me, you will NEVER find happiness and piece away from God.  No matter how much your friends love you, and you love them.  No matter how much time you spend with them, you still not gonna find inner happiness and piece except with God.  Think about one thing, friends never stay the same, some of them move to another place, some of them change, only one who is never gonna change is God, God's love to you is never gonna change.  My own advice lol is to pray hard for your friends and then talk to them, if they accept it and they change their way, then you actually won them.  If they didn't, they i suggest that you keep away from them and win GOD.

    Yalla take a great care, i hope i helped.

  • yea i kno, i need to talk to them...i just am afraid more for them losing God and falling into sin. Its a tough situation and yea u do kinda sound like my FOC but thats a good thing lol =]

    thank you soo much baladoos...=]
    God Bless

    any more advice?? :-\
  • well i dont have a lengthy response because I do not have that much time cuz i'm about to get to class but a big way to avoid temptations and such is to AVOID parties where drinking is involved.  IT seems nowadays people can only have fun at get-to-gethers if there is alcohol involved. Very sad but true.  And while immersing themselves in drinking, they lose their judgements and act upon things they usually wouldn't do.  What I am saying is, be true to your mind and body, and God will be true to you.
  • are you saying that your friends drink at 15? well i am 15 but i won't do so.

    i know it is hard that situation but don't do what they are telling you to do you are toooo young for that. they are acting like teenagers may be they do not know. but you know so dont tell yourself oh they do this why cant i. you cant because you know what is right and what is wrong and by god's grace he gave you a mature mind to realise this so stick to god and may he be with you and help you to show them the way.

  • first of all you have to conquer one problem before you start thinking about the next.
    Stop the bad habits. Really. You are going to wake up one day and tell yourself that you have been wasting your time (drinking, partying etc.) Please believe me. I am 17 and seriously I know the routine (drink, sleep, forget what you did, find a way to get your hands on booze, drink, sleep, forget what you did....) Really its kind of dumb when you think of it. Just stop.
    When you conquer bad habits, you think better, and really you won't be worrying about having a bf...because you will actually give yourself time to think about it. If your drunk, then whats the point? Your probably going to end up forgeting what the church advised you. Letting that happen is as dangerous as walking on glass and fire. Especially for ages 14-17 as you are stating.
  • kk thanks guys...anyone else is welcome to leave their advice too :] i'm still reading lol

    God bless you all <333
  • any other advice from anyone at all?? i havent heard anything for a week :(
  • [quote author=angel from heaven link=topic=5022.msg67867#msg67867 date=1172022453]
    I guess im saying....what do you do when you're soo far away from God and need help to get back up while your best friend (almost brothers and sisters) are pulling u away, not on purpose...but through the tiniest things in do u stay strong and keep ur friends while not losing God? You're a 15 year old girl and u and ur friends need to change their ways but they dont realize it and u dont know how?

    You said that you are far away from God.  I've been moving farther away from God too, and I don't know how to get back.  I need help too.
  • ok, posting on is great because it keeps me from being bored while im sick, but plz ur 15, u should no, posting on will g et u no where, what u need to do is go talk to ur foc (father of confession) and i personaly think its obvious that u need to get away from ur friends, but ur not gonna wanna do that, so u need to help urself before u can help others. God onces said that before taking the speckal out of ur brothers's eyes, take the LOG out of ur own. i no that verse is alittle out of context, but i think it still applies. So basically, you should get yourself to understand that your a changing person, and that you can't TRULY love at this time of ur life, and than get closer to god, and say to god "god i ask you to use me to get my friends back to you" every night in ur prayers (assuming that you pray every night 0.o), than god will use u, but u can't try to do ur own thing, u have to give ALL the control to god, and you can't let God do half the job, and than u get involved cause u think everything has gotten better. sorry if my writing is a bite jumpy, but really posting on comon :/ ...... AND YES, 15 YEAR OLDS GET OFFERED MORE ALCHOL THAN ANYONE CAN IMAGINE... STUPID AMERICAN LAWS...
  • Dear "angel from heaven " and to everyone who is reading this...

    ok such a great topic everyone suffers this. And as exactly it starts from ur age.

    Firstly my heart cries out when I read what I read….truly this is path that is well the start of a lengthy road that is in every way leading away from God.

    Now u out of all decided to come out and talk about this…I do not know what u r thinking many at times I find people who deal with these topics are already  leaning towards a decision/judgement they   have sort of set their hearts on anyway but feel that they r not ready to step on it so what they do is ask and discuss it to get it out yet perhaps find reasons to support their view or make themselves feel less guilty because of what they are doing or going to do….i hope u r not in that situation…

    Ok why should I bother telling u anything  that I think u have already heard from ur FOC and others hack if u wanna hear that and Gods word in it its very clear U ALL READY KNOW what is God’s view on it. U cannot associate ur self with drunkards and homosexuals and alike s for their minds are perverse and GOD eventually delivers them to the lust of their bodies to live in it and there of i.e. Gods spirit deserts them and they are void of the holy spirit. What ever they experience it is in the realm of physical pleasure and that of the spirit of the world any emotion and love u define in there does not come from God, it come from the world which is temporary. Yes it feels great I know but what is the end result?

    Ok so here u r u have friends who have very naturally fell in to the likings of that which common to us the base desire of us all. That which is not of God. What is it? the desire and relationship to be with another person .ie. girl friend and boyfriend. This desire is at its peak obviously when u r at a party and well sure enough if everyone is drunk and those hidden thoughts and desires that u have had all night weeks  in the past come out to play at their strongest of course now u v got ur friends who r already doing this and r encouraging u to do it as well. Great. I doint care whether u say u like some one or not that’s not true when u want to be in a relationship… want the idea and feeling of being with someone say their… hold u and be close to u yea all those come and above strongest when u r at a party! When u have fell for some u want to be like ur friends and enjoy with them this idea and doint want to be a say “unloving” to them or “rude” lets analyse this now

    This now is fasting time and here in Australia we r concentrating on the life of Joseph the righteous as our fasting and prayer program. Do u know why God loved him so much and blessed him. He made mistakes but God turned them to fruit. He struggled with relationships. He did. But he did not struggle at all to obey God or struggle with his relationship with God. Why. Cause he knew felt sought that God is real and he is WITH HIM… So much so that he did not even go to lie with his master wife EVEN though she begged him for DAYS KEDA YRS a few atleast any way…and who are  we talking about…she was the wife of the master.. the one who is so elegant beautiful for sure everything a man would desire but what did Joseph say no ……how can I sin against God and commit this great sin ….he RAN OUT IN A HASTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    There is no doubt in this world there are many things we desire and would like to have and many of those things do not come to agree with our church many time we lean these rules and commandments but fail to understand what the are there for and why we do it and frankly we follow it but we don’t believe it. at least we doubt (like ur doing now) dating and relationships top that list.

    Let see what happens if u do this the best way u lean is from ur mistakes or to put it better u learn from watching others mistakes..
    I am 21 I ve done possibly everything ur talking about
    Lets imagine some of the scenarios
    U give in u decide to hook up with some one. U go to parties and do stuff together u chill out u feel safe for a while why cause u have set boundaries u will probably not have sex or something like that. U r having fun isn’t it aswome u and ur friends each one with his/her partner doing stuff….wow cool awesome where this is headed.
    Ur at the party too much to drink u bf sitting close to u holding u music bit of dancing is nice things get hot and before u know it ur in bed with him. It will happen no doubt it I bet u 100 %. Not now then soon guess where maybe at ur friends house and   even though ur friends know ur boundaries they weren’t be there to stop u because u r under the influence of alcohol….and so r they! Lets take a step further u get pregnant. Where r ur friends now. Sure they feel sorry but r they the one who is pregnant no its u so u bear that ur self…maybe u don’t get pregnant but damn u had fun was it not awesome u will guilty for a few days wks then go back into it right because now u feel that u belong their with them and u have sinned too much to return back. physiologically u weren’t be able to stands from going from that life style….lets say either u get marred to that guy or u break up and continue to that have other bf sans party awesome yani ur friends r happy they r going to hell and ur with them lol…
    Doesn’t matter to what level u take it if u r in u r and chance of going all the way is high….this is a lifestyle in the western world and it has its own rules and morals depending on ur friends. Some groups are crazy and do crazy things like I mentioned above others will by some grace don’t get into that much

    It starts out from ur age slowly and it gets better and better…in terms of partying and having fun.
    If u do this stop coming to church and live the life.
    But this is what u loose. U loose that love and purity that u had when u were with God. U loose the company of the Holy spirit. It is a burden u will carry with u like king David did for the rest of his life. U loose all CONTROL IT is God and his spirit that leads u to happiness that is pure and above all blessed by his spirit. That is what Joseph had. U will feel this pain most feel it missing u when u r at the parties and u step back for a moment to see the people around u and who they are what they are doing. How aim less. How temporary. How lonely. How so uncertain. How they do not even know the love of God because they forfeited it. How this is their world and sadly know nothing else. U will feel it if u have been a true Christian at church and u have felt the grace and love of God in ur life or at least u have sought it. Above all u will love the church when u come back to it.but u will carry the pain.   everything else as well about God and his promises u will undermine if u follow in the lust of the world.

    So this is the western non Christian way and ur friends r leading the way into it. What do u do. I am not telling u to ask ur self who is important God or friends I am TELLING U God is more important it is to him u serve and no one. LOVE GOD WITH ALL UR HEART AND MIND this is what separates u from the world and now ur friends who have decided to become part of the world. U must not doubt….pray for this immense love. Then yes tell ur friends I am not going to have a bf because I love GOD with all my heart and 100% GOD doesn’t want me to be going out right now at 15or 17!!!! He has put before me other things that I must concentrate on. If u want to go ahead and have bf and gf then do so please do not lead me into the ditch its too damns deep and muddy and I might not be able to climb out!!!! Live in the spirit of God. Does that mean u don’t do things with ur friends no of course not by the sounds of ur words I can tell u drink and go out regularly with ur friends and were in a sport sometime ago there all drunk like an idiot thinking about having a bf and ur gf encouraging u. firstly the alcohol; part IF U R GOING TO BE WITH GOD…DO DRINK TO U KNOW THAT U WILL BE OUT OF CONTROL. As soon as u have crossed ur limit LEAVE THE party before that full drunk hit catches on leave go home don’t stick around to see what others r doing because if u do then well u will under pressure and guess what.
    When u r drunk it say the fear of God is not in u any more. What is the fear of God doesn’t it say the fear of God is the begging on knowledge and wisdom. Well if fear of GOD is not with u when u r drunk u obviously are not going to make decision that r his will no wonder people do crazy things when they r drunk.  Knowledge and wisdom u will be without and that is when u will stuff up….
    So leave do not get that drunk that u r cursing God himself people do that!
    As for friends when they talk to u all smooth and say oh common on remember remember the fire and the everlasting worm remember what will u say when ur standing in front of God remember the pain of leaving him and then coming back in shame. The host angels  weep weep for u loss.. remember these and say NO to ur friends for these things

    Go out  have fun but do not have bf and gf. Establish friendships that could result in marriage or engagement but definability not relationship of any kind at not even to please ur friends. That’s not even the real reason it just u want to feel it ur self the experience well I am telling u its pleasurable sure fun sure yes without God.
    A relation between a man and wife is not from one end to the other but is like a triangle with  God at the top and husband and wife on the other there is no dating an pre relationships God not in that at all. Have friends have fun with them but when it comes to departing God flea flea away. U should be a light to ur friends not be blind and follow into the ditch.

    Start living a life that shows God mercy and company and blessing do things but with God enjoy the beautiful earth we GOT WITH GOD. . There is so much more I can pull more I can pull out from the bible and stuff but…..(read josephs story in the bible old testament)
    I think i will stop now but feel free to ask something that wasn’t clear….may u make the right decision and we will pray for u rebena maeke…!

  • wow!!!!!! thats a massive reply!!  :o how long did it take u lol?
  • maybe he was bored.... [sup]darn, was hoping for the longest response![/sup]
  • thank you all soooooooooooo much for all your advice. I have to say, u've all really helped. Things have been changing and my life starting to come back together. Pray for me always and i'll do the same. God bless you always. I love you all <333

    anyone else is welcome to give their advice tooo. =]
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