He was married

edited December 1969 in Personal Issues
ok i have a delima.. a frnd is falling for a guy that has been married and seperated recently!!
the seperation wasnt his fault but say if he gets permission to re-marry... would you personally go for it?? i mean say its ok with the church and everything... wat would u do and wat advice should i give to my friend????
p.s. his a gr8 guy and they are very compatiable!!! (from wat i see) but yea... any advice??


  • Well D33, if the separation wanst his fault, then i guess its ok 2 get married again if its ok with abouna and all. And if he/or she is a great person then it might work on it. But u might think about 4 a little. it is tough 2 think of but pray 2 God 4 wisdom and he will help u.
  • make sure thaat the seperation was through the church's permission and everything was alright.

    find the source of the problem, this way your friend can beware of the reason there was a "VALID COPTIC ORTHODOX BREAKUP'..

    i think that it is ok..like st paul said..

    if ur desires are TOO MUCH (this is for the man) then its better for him to get remarried.


    1. their son or daughter canot become a priest
    2. GIVE IT ALOTTTT OF TIME as the boy may be emotionally in a wreck and commiting her life to a man that was not emotionaly stable is soooooooooo wrong
    3. PRAY ALOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT (let her pray aloooooooooot too)
    4. DEFINETLY ask FOC
    5. Make sure that the problem that came between him and his first wife is not a problem with their new relationship
    6. MAKE SUREEEEEEEEee that his ex-wife is welllllll and trulyyyyyyyyy OVER HIM..u dont want all of a sudden for his wife to novk on their door and say.. I WAS WRONGGGGGG TAKE ME BAKKKKK>>>PLS>>>>>IT WAS MY FAULT>>>WE CAN BE WHAT WE DREAMED TO BE..and then income AALOT OF problems

    ok this is from a small girls point of view but once again i MAY BE COMPLETELY WRONG!!!!
  • i dun know abt other ppl, but i would never marry a person how got married before!
    and you should never believe what you ppl say! cuz the divorce might be his fault but the woman says it is her fault!
    i would NOT believe wht is being said! for many reasons!
    cuz if he got in a marriage relationship before and it broke apart, what are the odds of his second marriage will also break apart???
    i say 50-50

  • ok i spoke with my friend and shes telling me that she cant stop thinkn bout him and shes driving herself crazy etc. i really wish she wasnt attached! :( ok i will take all the advice given... n u no wat bentBABAyasooa`i never thought i would either! lol but u no wat after wat my frnd is going through im jus thinkn maybe its not so far fetched?!? i dunno maybe we can all pray for her
  • absloutly without even asking!

    and try to convince her that he is not good for her!! and if she doesn't listen try and try and try again! and if not then let her learn her own lesson!
    i know that sounds harsh, but she is old enough! and if she doesn't wanna listen to her own Best friend, then i don'tknow how is she gonna listen to!!

    but prayins is alawys the solution
  • haha thanks habibty! lol i dunno wat to do with her! lol i guess as time passes we'll see wat happens... atleast and thank God for this... that we don't even know if he likes her or wat his 'love' situation is! besides i think her parents would kill her! haha but we will pray for her!!!
    BUT TRY TO CONVINCE HER WITH FACTS, AND THE MOST IMORTANT ONE IS THAT the guy she should marry should be as fresh and brand new as she is! if u-know wht i mean!
  • what is she doing? The worst thing is becoming attached to someone who is already vulnerable and unsure of their future. It and WILL cause alot of damage!!!!!!
  • i soooooooooooooooooooooo agree with mary farag
  • Actually, i agree this is a private situation, but sometimes its best to ask other christians, as maybe its a difficult problem to ask abouna.

    I could never have asked the questions I ask here on this forum to my father of confession. He'd think i was crazy.
  • CopticChica, we don't know exactly the situation? do we??
    Perhaps someone may ask a question saying "I have a friend who has a problem" . That could be talking about themselves.. the point is this: Let's help answer the question and not focus on the person.

    You see what i mean about focusing on the person and not the question?? Its a bit judgemental. She didnt give the name/address or phone number of the person she is talking about who has this problem.

    Also, asking others is a sign of humility.. its not as if "i know it all", and "why should i ask anyone!" - someone asking such questions is important. We , as Christians, should be able to provide christian responses.

    If she spoke to her FoC, then her FoC who may know her very well, would also know the person she is talking about. However, on this forum, there is a certain degree of anonymity; which , to a certain degree isnt bad given that we value the response of the moderators, yet can be embarrassed to ask certain questions.
  • There is absolutley no harm in asking. It is good to seek advice. This can actaully help us from repeating other peoples mistakes.
  • i havent read any of the posts, but if you feel comfortable and happy with being someone that was already married then go for it
    but keep in mind that the relationship you have with this person will not be the same as when you become involved with someone who hasnt been married ie, like yourself, so new to marriage
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