edited December 1969 in Random Issues
ok well my friend (happens to be a guy) seems to likk me as more than a friend. i only want him to be a friend nothin more nothin less.
i cant tell him cuz its hard for me to do... wat can i do? ???
please help


  • how old are both of you?
  • Well ya Marina....bishoy actually asked a good question...if ur age is small, and u're still in college and unsure of how ur work life'll be...well...just tell him naturally that we're just friends and that's it! Problem is, the boy might not be that obvious...the answer is don't put urself in situations where the boy might be able to be obvious...slowly but surely....just slip away without hurting his feelings...btw...that's why ur best friend must also be a that ur emptions and inner feelings are more or less the same...a boy's emotions and inner feelings are completly different.

    Even if age is appropriate...there's a significant danger...the boy might be working in the dark...if he truly loves you, why doesn't he go to ur parents out in the open? Or why doesn't he tell you first at least out in the open?

    It might be hard because you don't wanna hurt his feelings...that's a great feeling u have there...but think of what may happen otherwise...remember that Satan is very cunning...don't give him a chance!

    If the guy is really ur friend, he'll immediately understand and move away a bit...try to help him out in it by not giving him a chance to like you more than a friend...but just a churchmate/collegemate/both!

    God be with you...

  • [quote author=rf_zachari link=board=11;threadid=1957;start=0#msg29568 date=1119857684]
    ...if ur age is small, and u're still in college and unsure of how ur work life'll

    Marina is is it okay now?
  • I think you should just tell him you just wanna be friends, and that you like things and want them to stay that way.

    I really think you should take care of things before they get out of hand. If he realizes your quiet he may actually try to get closer to you.

    Thank you guys..... God be with you
  • [quote author=u_stole_my_name link=board=11;threadid=1957;start=0#msg29570 date=1119869810]
    [quote author=rf_zachari link=board=11;threadid=1957;start=0#msg29568 date=1119857684]
    ...if ur age is small, and u're still in college and unsure of how ur work life'll

    Marina is is it okay now?

    No. Of course it's not ok to start dating at 15, that if u even are allowed to date....which most of us aren't until we are ready for marriage...and 15 isn't at all a time for u to get married or think about any such thing...concentrate on ur life...not on some feelings that would possibly fade away sooner or later.
  • 15 is to young to start dating!!! i mean please wait when you are older!!!! and by the way how do you know that the guy likes you more then just a friend????
  • OOOOO hey hold on i am not that old i am only 15
    i dont wanna go out with him
    i am not allowed to date
    i kno he likes me more than a friend cuz hes been tellin me that he loves me....
    he neva said it b4, now he says it to me
    O GOD
  • wow may god help you and be with you!!!! :o
  • marina,
    hey look a few of my friends talked to abouna about dating and he says the best age to start dating is at age 18 like the start of college
  • 15 is definitly a young age to date.... god be with you and help you.
  • [quote author=CoptGirl link=board=11;threadid=1957;start=0#msg29621 date=1119908812]
    hey look a few of my friends talked to abouna about dating and he says the best age to start dating is at age 18 like the start of college

    18?? thats young too, i'm 18 and i dont feel like dating for like another 4-6 years, oh maybe its just cause i'm a weirdo :D
    we discussed this million times before, its different for every person, but 15 is WAY too young.
  • you don't need to date him all you have to do is actually talk to him and ask God for his help hey by the way is he a copt?
  • yea he is a copt
  • I have been wondering for about 2 years that why do copts need to like someone beyond there friendships I mean that's pretty disrespectful because at some ages like 12-17 yrs old you do not need to like someone or need to even tell them I think that if you are a copt and like someone beyond your friendship be calm about it don't show it and for girls the best thing to do is don't wear something that attracks guys and that's the best thing to do don't wear make-up just try to be friends and pray to God that it will be just fine if you don't want a boy to like you do what I do (this might sound akward, but it's worth it) act like you never heard what they said that's why I don't wear something that attracks guys or wear lip gloss even the best thing to do is wear capris because don't wear short-shorts or even tight clothes it's wrong where something that fits you and doesn't make you look bad or fat or even skinny wear clothes that support you and marina try not to prove it to him that you heard what he said try thinking about a change!

  • I don’t know why this is becoming a dating thread… lol… interesting… well I have some more questions… if okay?

    1.)Do you live in the same area as that person?
    2.)How did he approach such a comment?
    3.)What triggered such a question?
    4.)When the question was asked where were you?
    5.)How do you usually talk to that person?
    You don’t have to respond to these question publicly, you can pm me… if you choose…

    I ask these questions… to show you it’s not only his fault… but you added thought to his head… and gave him courage to ask you such a question… and tell such a comment… girls always say guys think with mish araf eh? But they never think with their heads… well you know what we do… if a girl entices me, even if its not intentional, I will take such a move… so the guy didn’t do anything wrong… he responded to all the mixed messages, the only way he knows how…

    Your solution…. Tell him I am fifteen, and I cant date… period… if he remains stubborn… then get an adult in the situation… most likely he wont… but don’t leave him, and date somebody… remain “single,” remain without a mate… for going and dating… it would hurt him severely… God will take care…
  • ok well he didnt ask me out but i think he is gonna on sunday
    i want to avoid it
    so cool bishoy here r the answers
    1)no but there is only one chruch in wi
    2)he rote it on my shirt the frist time (i had people sign my shirt for memories)then he just said it
    3)well he didnt
    4)same as # 3
    5)i usually talk to then as a friend we dont talk to each other bout love or nothin but we do make fun of each other for fun alot
  • ok... just say that you want to be friends.. only friends.. .and he wrote "I love you" on your shirts.. i had people sign my year book and like 10 guyz said "I love you" in it.. . and i say I love you to my friends guy friends all the time.. .like if they loan me a pencil... i'd say "thankyou so much i loveyou!" maybe he loves you just as i friend.. like.. idk how to explain
  • All4Christ, I get what your saying. Like a friendship love, the exact kind between to girl best friends. And also like the thankful kind.
    Also, if you can't tell him to his face, write him like a note or letter or something. Hope i helped.
  • I dont know if making fun of each other is called flirting if its with the opposite sex?
    or is it something else?
    but is it wrong anyway ? I think it is sometimes.
  • Hey Marina,

    Here is my two cents on your issue followed with my advice:
    Wow, you guys are way to young to even be thinking about the opposite sex, and the whole dating “shebang” thing. 15 is not the time to be thinking about love, or guys, or in guys cases girls. You should be more focused on building a solid foundation with Christ, and then you should be concerned with your schoolwork.

    I mean when you think about it do either of you really know what love is, not I have a crush on him or her because they are so cute, but real love (and I’m talking about the feeling and nothing else)? I honestly don’t think at the age of 15 you would know what love is, or even at the age of 18, heck I’m 19 and I don’t even know what real love is. There are certain people in my life whom I respect and I do love with all my heart, and if they asked for my heart I would not hesitate or think twice, but at the same time I’m not ready for marriage so dating is still out of the picture. Love is more then an age limit and when you reach a certain age then your feelings for a person turns into love and it becomes real. Its just that as you grow older you become more mature and act as rational agents and realize that your feelings were nothing more then a teenage crush that everyone goes through and then you thank God that you didn’t act on them.

    I understand that you are not allowed to date and that you are getting advice on what to do for Saturday when he approaches you. But we have to cover some ground points. He is not in love with you because he does not know what love means, he simply may find you charming and is intrigued by you and since it’s the norm to have a girlfriend he’s just following the crowd. But we are dead to this world, and our norm is not the world’s norm, and we should not let peer pressure be our guide but rather the bible help us guide our lives. So let him know he should love you as his sister because that is exactly what we should all be to each other.

    I think the topic of dating is something that depends on the people involved, their families and their fathers of confession. And obviously when I'm talking about dating, I don't mean the twisted picture that we get from the media, but I mean merely getting to know a person and spending one-on-one time with them with the purpose of marriage in mind.

    I want to emphasize what I mean by "with the purpose of marriage in mind". It means that to start dating you need to first be old enough to actually get married (spiritually, physically, financially, ...). I also want to emphasize that we should always stick to what our parents and our fathers of confession say, and this is extremely important.

    Now your turn, I’m sorry but as much as I want to say that his thinking is wrong there must have been something that led him to such feelings. Sometimes being “excessively nice” can be considered as flirting, so just from know on treat everyone equally and sisterly. And talk to your father of confession about this, because he will be the best person to guide you as well as him in the right path.


    I would highly advice you to not throw the words “I love you” around to just anyone and everyone because someone might really take that to heart and develop feelings. So, say you love someone when they offer you a ring (in the longggggggggg future in sha allah) and not over a pencil. :P

    In his name
  • Marina...."Ihraby lee 7ayatik" or "Run for your life!" slangly speaking....look...15 is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too young to do anything! I'm not saying u're a little kid...but u're growing up...ur feelings are still not mature and they're very volatile....please please discuss this scenario with ur father confessor...

    Do NOT give the guy a chance to express his "LOVE" (more likely "nazwa") to you....silently without hurting his feelings as much as you can, MOVE AWAY...get out of his life...he'll understand if he truly respects you...

    May God protect you

  • guys she doesnt want 2 go out wif the guy- so lets jus breathe
    now getin back 2 the topic lol
    sit with him an tell him truthfully what u feel. tell him if he truly loves u an cares for u, now is not the appropriate time and that even wen it is, u might not feel the same way
    jus b open an if that doesnt work, wel then il pray 4 u ;)
    ul b ok though
    its happened 2 some of my friends so yea
  • Marina and Mazza,

    I think I didn’t misunderstand the question that was asked and if you read my post carefully I emphasized that at a young age people can have their feelings mixed up and label “crushes” as love. I know you don’t love him and you don’t want to date him, and all you want is to be his friend, but I was explaining how his thinking and feelings are not accurate and its something that he is not ready for. Any ways all you need to do is two simple things to solve your problem:

    You ready for this???
    This is the answer that you’re looking for….
    Okay here goes…
    *takes a deep breath in*
    You’re sure you can handle this???
    The two steps are:

    1.Go to your Father of confession and discuss this issue with him, and he will be able to guide you so that you and him will be able to carefully get over this stumbling block that this guy seems to have gotten himself into. Since you did say he is not the person to say, “I love you” out of the blue.

    2. Which leads me to my next point, be careful with your actions, words, and the people you hang out with. Your actions may lead people to develop feelings for you unintentionally for example: giving hugs to guys and vice versa, I don’t want to dwell on this point, but just be careful. Your words because being extra nice can be considered as flirting and again give out unintentional signals. The people you hang out with is very important because if you’re around the same sex then that’s less of a problem but if your not and then you must be careful with your behavior.

    In his name
  • I definetly agree Marina....athough I wasn't that tense in my last post here...I'm breathin' don't worry...

    Just talk to him...or more likely since he isn't the guy to say "I love u" outta the blue, well...tell ur father confessor FIRST...then I guess ur parents (do ur parents know each other? if not well...don't do the 2nd part yet until it's all over.)

    Ur father confessor'll tell you what to do...don't talk to the guy yet until ur father confessor tells you exactly what to do....may God be with you.

  • joyisgod and rf_zachary, that I think was perfect... the best thing for you to do would be to go to your father of confession and he will give you the best advice... Byeee
  • be completely honest because things could get messed up if you arent.
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