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Coptic Orthodox Church
Christians: If I disobey this particular thing my dad said is it a sin? Edit
My Dad once told me that I should date ugly girlsand i dont like them and only like fairly pretty ones. I always look at what's in their heart as well but am i commiting a sin since i am disobeying my dad? Sexual attraction is a gift from god.
you don't need to date anyone.
if you think you are ready for marriage, ask God 2 guide you, then make friends with women and with men (they all have cousins or female friends).
treat your female friends like your sisters, in all purity, and learn about the love of God together.
if one of your friends likes you in a romantic way and you are too shy to notice, your friends or family will point it out to you.
then, if you think you might like to marry that person, discuss it with your confession father and ask his advice.
if you get the green light, then ask the lady if you can spend some quality time together, but do not spend time alone.
it is safer to go off and chat in a corner of the church or restaurant or park where there are other people not too far away.
that is what i mean by not 'dating'.
don't look at women as 'pretty' or 'ugly', but as sisters. look for the kingdom of God, and the righteousness of God. do not judge and you will not be judged.
edited January 17
I wrote this a couple of days ago but I thought I would delay posting to be less judgmental though I thought I am not but I think the enemy has been trying to make me compromise on my faith
First I thought you made it up but there is an important subject. I was reading the bible from the beginning and came across genesis 6:1-8
1 Now it came to pass, when men began to multiply on the face of the earth, and daughters were born to them, 2 that the sons of God saw the daughters of men, that they were beautiful; and they took wives for themselves of all whom they chose.
3 And the Lord said, “My Spirit shall not strive with man forever, for he is indeed flesh; yet his days shall be one hundred and twenty years.” 4 There were giants on the earth in those days, and also afterward, when the sons of God came in to the daughters of men and they bore children to them. Those were the mighty men who were of old, men of renown.
5 Then the Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. 6 And the Lord was sorry that He had made man on the earth, and He was grieved in His heart. 7 So the Lord said, “I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth, both man and beast, creeping thing and birds of the air, for I am sorry that I have made them.” 8 But Noah found grace in the eyes of the Lord.
It is unfortunately happening nowadays and many are unaware myself included. You should not marry outside of your people and faith no matter how difficult it is to find a pretty woman especially if you are not united in beliefs about jesus and the faith. But it is not an excuse as the unity may not be of God it is sin to depart from orthodox faith even if one was ignorant of his faith people must not do it wilfully and God will be sorrowful especially if many do so. Those who did it without knowledge should repent however either it may be they have to accept maybe they have to live with consequences such as not raising their children exclusively orthodox if the spouse is harsh in forbidding even at all he may as he may be attached to his parents outside of God if they won’t convert.
Obviously if before getting married even if they are not your race they left parents completely in trust for God it is maybe different but it may still be a sin it seems they should have married one of their own who converted also if the parents are less likely to listen
I will try to explain later why God gives other people beauty without painting them bad but the Lord wants to not see beauty as most desirable thing but the person character and good heart but it is important if after developing good relationships with girls in church if you or she do not find each other attractive do not marry them if such is very important thing for one of you. But you must not marry outside your people
I think some make themselves not beautiful because they think they should only make themselves beautiful for those they want. Or some try not to be attractive because they want a person most attracted to other stuff to make sure he never cheats
Note there are people blessed with beauty among your people such as mentioned Job’s daughters and Sarah Abraham wife. Some think Job was a gentile but he was a godly person and Sarah was jewish.
The only reason Moses and Joseph were permitted to marry outside of their people was because they were prophets and their family in law received him
It is difficult because if we are all Christians we seem to all be children of God and we shouldn’t judge for not every family in law will be judged the Lord may save in His mercy if they repent and I am not judging other Christian denominations as not saved in this topic but mixed marriages may bring about wrath but some may be able to repent but also we do not know unless we received from God that Christian denominations are saved
I apologise if I hurt people I just thought the matter affects some people faith and I myself don’t want to marry outside my people I want them to accept me
edited January 17
There is certainly a beautiful person for you among your people but theoretically or if there is not you can marry other christian but I suppose second best or just as good as your people is Eastern Orthodox
edited January 19
Actually I can not completely forbid marriage to a non originally copt or orthodox but you must make sure they really converted and care only for the salvation of their spouse and children and raise them Orthodox. I just been influenced by a girl online who believes non Copts can not worship God in our church because they like their own worship methods and don’t like the rules of orthodoxy because they have not really converted from their church and seen many failed marriages where person cheats
edited January 19
Why should Egyptians marry Egyptians at all if other nations are not evangelised and have their own Church with our blessing. It seems good for Egyptians to make sure every convert is married in our church but if not everyone should think to marry the convert how will they find a spouse they love and not just any spouse ?
Problem is they can steal our people and try to make them Protestant or another faith so diminish orthodoxy but orthodoxy may be revived by blessing of God for next generation but this generation be cursed but if spouse and child are made Protestant for example they have no sacraments so how shall they have salvation
edited January 22
I would like to see other view. It is important not to let me deceive even 1
edited January 22
we must make sure the one we marry is trustworthy and also God will be angry if we marry people just on their choice for earthly happiness and not spiritual
Intermarriage is a big problem for the church because it is not our job to save people. That should only be done when the churches of God are united. Orthodoxy is about raising people in the faith so we can do church duty from God to the world and I think intermarriage is harmful because we are not united yet and it is very important children be raised orthodox without judging other Christians as pope shenouda said church without youth is church without future. Orthodoxy may vanish and it is a great alternative to heresies of Catholic Church and it is true church despite how little it becomes. As we say in liturgy May your people multiply thousand times ten thousands performing your will. That is when church’s finally become united is intermarriage okay
I have to say that as i can’t be only one permissive of something as church is the one which loose and bind
Ok once again I spoke from fear because I thought Egyptians would blame me. There is no sin at all in intermarriage but the person must choose orthodoxy and put priority wife and kids. If we can’t accept other nations we are not apostolic for there is now neither Jew or Greek. We hurt orthodoxy by forbidding intermarriage for why then should people be orthodox. Yes we must receive the stranger.