Not one friend

edited December 1969 in Personal Issues
Hi all, over the past few months a lot has changed. I started college, my two older siblings have found their future spouses and are getting married, and my parents are giving them all the attention. I'm not denying their love at all, because I know they love me and are paying for my education, but that's not the point of this thread. With everything changing around me, as well as me growing, I have realized that I don't have anyone I can call a friend. I'm not saying I am socially awkward or antisocial, because I am in clubs in school and I do stay after church and hang out with the people from my church regularly. But at the end of the day, I don't have anyone in my life that I see worth keeping around. No one wants to be intimate with me. Sometimes my friends ignore me, or be mean to me. Maybe I have high standards for a friend. Maybe I'm jsut not likable person. whatever it is, I would like to know what I can read or listen to to help me cheer up, because it kills me waking up in the morning and realizing I don't have anyone.

I know I have Christ in my life, and he can serve as my best friend, but I am not in that spiritual level to think that way yet.

Comments

  • I am the same you will find that friend when you with Gods help get married
    You have to have things to talk about to people
    Become cultured just as Moses was

    Jesus increased in wisdom and stature and favor with God and man
    St Paul says he has become all things to all people

    But you said you even are a part of a sports club and talk to people at church
    Do you feel comfortable talking to them on many matters ?
    Or you just hang and you do not talk ?

    Bible says do not forget to entertain strangers for in so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels

    Pope shenouda talks about some things in life of righteousness book

    I read someone advise to talk to people like you
    There are too many awkward silences that I still do not know how to overcome

    People say for others to want our company we must listen to them as well not just talk
  • mikeforjesus,

    Thank you for your response. I know the kind of person you are talking about, and I am not it. I am very sociable, spontaneous, and the likes. I've always had friends and I was always comfortable (and still am) talking to people. I won class clown last year when I was in high school and I was part of sports teams and clubs. I'm good at meeting new people. I'm not weird lol but PERSONALLY, I have just grown to realize that the people in my life are not real friends.

    In regards to finding people like me, how can I tell that others think like me?
  • Could it be that you are not intimate with them?
    Maybe people feel intimidated or jealous and feel they can not match your social skills and etiquette and feel they are inferior in the presence of your friends
    I have cousins who are more popular with people than me I feel intimidated but when they are intimate with me I don't feel so anymore
  • i had problems like this sometimes too, it is very hard if u feel alone.
    the best thing is to wait and focus on other things, like yr spiritual life and pray and ask God to guide u.
    remember it is normal to feel cut off and friendless at times of transition in yr life, give it time, and God will guide u to good friends.
    may God give u peace and patience, and may the prayers of the saints be with u.
  • [quote author=DC link=topic=13832.msg160902#msg160902 date=1352044683]
    Hi all, over the past few months a lot has changed. I started college, my two older siblings have found their future spouses and are getting married, and my parents are giving them all the attention. I'm not denying their love at all, because I know they love me and are paying for my education, but that's not the point of this thread. With everything changing around me, as well as me growing, I have realized that I don't have anyone I can call a friend. I'm not saying I am socially awkward or antisocial, because I am in clubs in school and I do stay after church and hang out with the people from my church regularly. But at the end of the day, I don't have anyone in my life that I see worth keeping around. No one wants to be intimate with me. Sometimes my friends ignore me, or be mean to me. Maybe I have high standards for a friend. Maybe I'm jsut not likable person. whatever it is, I would like to know what I can read or listen to to help me cheer up, because it kills me waking up in the morning and realizing I don't have anyone.

    I know I have Christ in my life, and he can serve as my best friend, but I am not in that spiritual level to think that way yet.


    Story of my life! you just echoed my mind.

    There are good days and bad days. It doesn't help if there are other problems going on in your life (e.g. struggling at college etc etc) because you just want to be able to talk to somebody who cares, genuinely cares about you specifically. But find none.

    Good days are when you are too busy to think about it. But the lonely feelings still come back at the end of the day.

    What keeps me going is merely the hope that it will not be always like that. Because God knows, if it is, I may not be able to carry on. Right time for everything as the bible says. But where is the patience to go with that!
  • Hi,
    Here's an article on Friendship:
    http://lacopts.org/2009/04/09/friendship/

    Hope that helps.
    Thanks.
  • Wrong topic
  • You are not wrong for having high standards of a friend. Not at all. You just need a spiritual friend. I think the 'intimacy' that you want is being able to talk to someone about the things that actually matter to you, like God.
    A spiritual friend is super important..someone that has the same goals and desires as you. Basically, someone that will lift you up and not bring you down.
    and at the end of the day, consider yourself kind of lucky. Being too close to someone or a group of people usually warrants drama and makes you feel very dependent on them.
    Learn to be dependent on God alone, because people come and go, but God remains.
    Best of Luck with your situation.
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