How to choose your partner

edited December 1969 in Personal Issues
Years going and still looking and waiting for the click. We need help to get exposed to each other in a way that it is clear for this purpose, not hidden behind spirituality, is there any coptic or (the agent who helps people to know each other for marriage, in Arabic) Why our churches and bishops not involved in that? any ideas or thoughts or plans? Do not tell me that you are not looking now, do not be shy? express your feelings and your need, how can we help each other?



  • Copting,

    Of course we all get to the age were we are ready to find that someone or settle down, but a question you must ask yourself rather than how can we help each other, is if God created Eve for Adam will he not find that perfect someone for you? So instead of focusing on figuring out a way to find that someone pray for God to reveal her/him to you and trust me one day you will click with the person of your dreams dont try to find them yourself. I hope that helps.

    Pray for me

  • is not taken yet feel free to start it but i know there is althought i don't agree with this idea 100% but i don't mind it .and i really think u shouldn't be looking for your life partener u should be waitting for her.
    that's right god will send the right person in the right time and when it happenes u will see the signs god sent you says (that's her)
    good luck
  • Although God will get her for you, but it need some work from your side. Can God get her for you while you are setting doing nothing. I think our Father Abraham had sent his servat to get a wife for Isaac his son. Who is that servant now who will go his way and find my Rebecca. I think God had instructed them in the past not to get married to the people of the gentiles, how far can we apply this on our life here in America?

  • Well chris i didn't mean that you should set there doing nothing and that's why i told you i don't mind coptic match specially that ava mousa didn't mind the idea but what i meant is that you should not worry and always remmber to ask god for he knows already what you need
  • I kinda agree with little phareo, God has a way of sometimes saying "Here you go" or "Nope, that's not the one" but I believe that bestway to meet someone is not to be looking for them. It should happen naturally. I think that the best way is for a friendship to evolve into a relationship. When your friends with someone you tend to find more about him/her than if you were going with the attitude that you are looking for a relationship. People tend to put thier best foot forward if they know they are going into a relationship. I think you should just make friends (there is no limit as to how many you can have) and if God wants it to be, hopefully God will reveal to you that one of them is His choice.
    don't knwo if that makes any sense, but thought I would share
  • god will send her wen u least expect it :)
  • I believe in love at first site 8)
  • I believe in lust at first sight... but no Love at first sight...
  • well...i don't believe in either love or lust at first's just feelings that develop over time
  • i dont believe in anything at the moment, simply cause i'm way too young for this stuff at the moment ;D

    i agree with bishoy, there's no such thing as love at first sight, love isn't something that happens in an instance!!
  • That's right...

    It's what's known as "puppy love". Some people give in to these feelings, but find that they can't stand the person they "fell in love with" at first sight.

  • lol u could put it that way
  • "when you meet someone and you're attracted to them, it just means that your subconscious is attracted to their subconscious, subconsciously. So what we think of as chemistry is just two neuroses knowing that they are a perfect match."
    -sleepless in seattle lol

    but seriously people, stop worrying so much.
    its not the end of the world if one doesn't get married. yes i'm a girl and i'm actually considering the possibility of NOT getting married. i wouldn't want to force anything. so nothing works out, so what? i'll be a reporter and travel the world! just go on with your life and God will take care of it!!

    oh and duh its totally not love at first sight, its all lust. you're not in love with someone when you say "omg they have the most gorgeous blue eyes!"
  • yup, blue eyes aren't gonna cook or go to the grocery store :P
    jk, but u get my point lol
  • [quote author=Hos Erof link=board=4;threadid=1375;start=15#msg23803 date=1113754298]
    yup, blue eyes aren't gonna cook or go to the grocery store :P
    jk, but u get my point lol

    lol u don't have to tell me that twice! its guys that drool over looks more often!

    jk ::) :D
  • but marriage is part of the the churches 7 sacraments- its blessed :D
  • but marriage is part of the the churches 7 sacraments- its blessed

    and st peter compares marriage to the unity between Jesus and the church.

    God knows best. Just wait, patience is a virtue.
  • true that
    patience is a virtue ;)
  • God is by your side and when he sees you are ready he will pick the best choice for you. There is nothing to worry about. Always remember God is the greatest thing we have in our lives. We might not need a partner to survive, in the end.
  • Let me emphasize on that last point....please please do not take half the story and remove the other half....yes, marriage is a sacrement and is holy....but it is for those who CANNOT live the life of earthly angels (monks)....thus is marriage bad? NO, may God forbid....but Saint Athanasios comapres it to the parable of the 30, 60, or 90 fruits on a tree (sorry, I don't know the exact english translation!)....those who marry are of the 30-fruit much as they can try to come closer to God, which is not wrong or two-faced but relatively weak, they are not totally dedicated to God...they do not totally love Him....

    Please do not misunderstand me...I do not mean to say Let's all go to a monastery....some of us won't be able to! BUT the point is, as Pope Shenouda III once said:

    "If you cannot actually leave the world, then at least leave it in its essence"

    A central point in our beautiful way of life is what we call in Arabic "7ayat el tark" or living an aestetic life (excuse my bad english please) in ITS ESSENCE, not going around NY with sheep's clothing and a stick! (Sounds like what happens here in Egypt but with the other people!)...essence meaning that truly inside you, you are not attached to anything, INCLUDING THE URGE TO GET MARRIED, that being the answer to myfriend's initial question....marriage is not bad...but that urge to get married is wrong....let's all concentrate for now on loving God the church as we all know....when we truly put our lives in His caring and loving hands then we won't care what happensd to us here....O God...u want me to get married? Ok chosse and u lead! U want me to be a monk? Help me then against the Devil's wars my loving father! U want me to be a janitor for one of the churches? Yes sir.....

    I hope u understand ehat I mean, my dear brother who asked the question.....try to concentrate on loving ur God more....leave everything else on Him....
  • Alot of people i know got married to a friend (of the opposite sex). I think that being with that person (just friends not that whole girlfriend/boyfriend thing) will just make you feel read this....
    Wait for the guy/girl who persues you,
    the one who will make an ordinary moment seem magical,
    the kind of guy/girl who brings out the best in you and makes you want to be a better person...this might help
  • Hello Everyone,

    Well, i have this little selection, ok it's long but i think u'll find urself flying through it...very beautiful...and very well pertains to this topic....
    Here it is:

    Everyone wants to give themselves completely to someone, to have a deep lasting relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But God, to a Christian says, “No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled, and content with being loved by Me alone; to have an intensely personal and unique relationship with Me. Discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found will you be capable of a perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be completely united with one another until you are completely united with Me. Exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desire or longing. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing, one that you cannot imagine. I want you to have the best. Please allow Me to give it to you...

    …You keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things. Keep experiencing the satisfaction, that I Am. Keep listening and learning the things I promise and mean. Be patient, that is all. Don’t be anxious and don’t worry. Don’t look around at all the other things others have gotten or that I have given them. Don’t look at the things you want. You just keep looking off and up to Me or you’ll miss what I want to show you. And then, when you are ready, I will surprise you with a love far more wonderful than you would dream of. You see, until you are ready and until the one I have for you is ready (I am working even at this moment to have both of you ready at the same time) until you both are satisfied with Me and the life I want you to have, you will not be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me... a perfect love….

    …And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me, and to enjoy perfection and love that only I offer. Know that I love you utterly. I am God Almighty. Believe it and be satisfied.”

    Take care everyone!
  • rf_zachary:

    I disagree. Marriage is simply "another" way. Not a "lesser" way.
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