Thank you all for your posts. They truly help me. I have an issue here that I think you guys may help me out with. So I have been in probably 3 major relationships in my life (Yes, this is another annoying relationship issue), and of them all I was always the one to be broken up with.
I'm having doubts about marriage. I've talked to my father of confession and he told me that God will, at the right time, present the best for me and that God is preparing me right now and to have faith.
The girl that I was recently talking to we basically started talking and she had baggage as is. Not over her last relationship. But we wanted to do things right. We wanted to take it slow, we wanted Abouna to know, we wanted our parents to know and receive their blessing to continue. But we never even reached that point because she wasn't ready.
I was ready. I have been ready for quite some time now but every time I get into a relationship, something always seems to happen for it to dissolve. It's as if God is telling me, just wait, why pursue these relationships when I have something better for you?
But it's getting harder to wait. I am not enjoying being single. I spend a lot of time serving at the Church but I feel empty because I don't have that special person. I dedicate myself to the Church completely because I feel the Church needs me right now. But I don't know what is going on otherwise. I have faith and trust in God but everything is hazy; I don't know who God wants me to be with. All I know is that God wants me to continue on helping in my church as much as I can.
I have considered being a monk but if I become a monk it will be for all the wrong reasons. I never felt as much as peace as I did when I spent a few days in the monastery. Nothing troubled me.
I just want someone to spend the rest of my life with. God is taking care of me, no doubt and I am trying to spend my life with Him; but I want my helper. And yeah, I guess the issue here is that I'm not being patient. I want what I want now, and God is telling me, NO!
Yet at least, I wish I had some sign, or some marker or some kind of assurance that God has someone planned and lined up for me waiting some day. I am having doubts about this in my relationship with Him. Everything else is fine. I just do not hear His Voice in this issue. He is silent.