Please Pray for Me

edited December 1969 in Personal Issues
Hi everyone,

I am having a lot of difficulty in my life, especially with my social life.

I am lost in my own mind, troubled with paranoid thoughts and anxiety.

I am no psychologist but my paranoia and social anxiety are obvious to me. I go to church and I feel all eyes are on me, and everyone is talking about me in a bad way. I feel rumors are circulating about me and I do not know what to do.

And the thing that troubles me the most is that I do not know if it is just in my head or if it is really happening.
I need to learn to trust in God and all my hope has been coming from the Psalms.

Thank you and please pray for me.

Also if you have any suggestions...

A Daughter of Christ from NY

Comments

  • Thank you Peter,

    This is why I posted here, so I can get a response like yours.
    I never thought if it that way--that it is a war raged on me b/c I am in church. I do feel that ever since this has been happening to me I have been praying to God in tears more.

    The thing is that I really am not sure if it is all in my head.

    I think that is what's troubling me the most.
  • I said to myself "Those which are planted in the house of the LORD shall grow like cedar trees. They shall still bear fruit in old age"
    and I was planning on going to youth meetings. However this was impractical because I could not drive, I had to study and I also I ended up having to go to kids meetings and I could be wrong but I do not feel the church was organised enough or balanced enough. I could not sing the tasbeha tunes. I was very troubled about some people in church who I felt made a mockery of the idea of singing spiritual songs. People needed to be great to get attention. I would hardly be able to gain satisfaction and the feeling of brotherly love from people.. because anywhere I go people have rules about how to approach them.
    People would play hide and seek and would be unpredictable. People were not happy to join together in unity. You can see this when you see some people trying to be funny all the time and take over the youth spaces.
    Also thinking about church too much was causing me psychological problems.



  • I deal with this on a daily basis. I have been in a hospital, on all kinds of meds. I have been off the meds for 7-8 months now. A word of advice, do not tell anyone. Tell only those you trust with your life. When I got sick, I panicked. I did not know what to do and I started telling everyone. I did not want sympathy I was just scared and wanted someone to just hug me and tell me it will be ok. Unfortunately this is not what I got. I have even less friends than before. Nobody ever returns my calls or texts. So just a word of advice, do not share this with anyone. I would even be weary of clergy unless you trust them absolutely.
  • [quote author=mikeforjesus link=topic=12674.msg148897#msg148897 date=1323694394]
    People needed to be great to get attention.
    People would play hide and seek and would be unpredictable. People were not happy to join together in unity.
    Also thinking about church too much was causing me psychological problems.


    I think this is my exact problem. People are unpredictable. One day they are your friend, and the next they are stabbing you in the back. I have seen this. We would be sitting down in a group and once someone walks away, bam, the back-stabbing begins. The person comes back and everyone would talk about how they are the greatest person alive. I also started to realize that people do not hold me in an esteemed position-I am not the type of person that everybody would dream to talk to or to hang out with.

    I live my entire life not worrying about the exam I have tomorrow nor what time the game I want to watch comes on, the things normal people worry about; I worry about what people are saying about me and the amount of friends I would lose if a rumor is/were to circulate about me.

    [quote author=Ioannes link=topic=12674.msg148898#msg148898 date=1323694750]
    A word of advice, do not tell anyone. Tell only those you trust with your life.


    This is another problem Ioannes. The type of problem I am facing is not something that can be openly shared. It's not a physical problem nor a problem with my studies that I can easily seek help for. I don't know what to do that's why I turn to you guys.

    I am trapped in my own mind.
  • i think it is important to tell your priest and your doctor.
    sure, don't tell your cousin, your cousin's friend, your friend's cousin etc. etc.
    but it's only when discussing with someone outside the problem that u can get perspective on the problem and find out whether it's a spiritual battle we all face or something wrong with us. eg. i had to teach a course today and felt everyone was looking at me, then i looked around at the other teachers and remembered they were nervous too, the students were nervous (they had an exam at the end they had to pass) and basically everyone was too worried about their own problems to think i looked stupid.

    but i know this because i talk to my confession father who can see i am a bit proud, a bit worried and it's nothing major. i repent and pray and abouna prays and God helps me to keep going.
    for some people, medication is useful, sometimes even essential. but when you are not well (in your mind) you can't judge correctly if you need it, so if you are worrying all the time (not just the day before the exam) then you should discuss it with your family doctor.
    just be me, you say you are reading the psalms. doing this and praying from the agpeya (prayer book) are very good ways to fill your mind with something healthy and keep you close to God. this is something you should always do, as well as talking to your priest and your doctor.

    may God guide all who have problems in this area. it is a common problem, so please don't give up and it will be better.
    ioannes and mikeforjesus, thanks for posting. it is good to 'see' you both again, may God bless you.
    peter a, you are right, prayer is very important.
    let us pray for our brothers and sisters who struggle and support them.

    if i wrote down how much i struggled with socialising as a child and teenager, it would fill a book! but things have got so much better as i got older that i really thank God, i can honestly say that slowly but certainly i learnt to trust God and not fear the future.
    so you too can feel better in social situations if you take the advice of your spiritual father and doctor.
    God loves you and will help you to grow in Him
    :)
  • Thank you mabsoota but I feel that this problem is not for a doctor or medicine. Don't get me wrong-I want to be a doctor and I understand the power of medicine-but before I can take any such action, I need to trust in God and I need to fully KNOW that it is all in my head. I am tired of my life and the way I am living it.

    God Bless
  • Hi 'Just by me',

    Advice here should be taken with caution, not in the least because the posters here can only respond to what is shared, and are not privy to your situation.

    I think it is imperative that you talk with persons you can talk confidentially with, including a spiritual advisor and a family doctor. Paranoid thoughts, though are common to a certain extent, are usually not so socially or psychologically distressing, as you have raised. There have been few occasions were you have said that you are psychologically distressed. I think a doctor/counsellor should be consulted- there are many Christians in these fields if you are worried about "ungodly advice".

    Regards.
  • Just By Me,
                        Trust me, I get it man. You have to find someone you trust with your life. You could also go to doctors but you have to know that they will put you on medicine, and that is a whole other ball game. I have kicked the meds, which I am positive did some serious permanent damage, and I am using strictly herbal remedies and a good diet. There really is not any culture in the world that quite gets mental illness, if that is what you have. So keep it very confidential. In fact I was recently talking with a clergy member and when I brought up my illness, he was like, yea but you aren't sick anymore. No offense to him, he just doesn't get it. You will be fine and if you need anything let me know.


  • Whilst medications have side effects that may or not be experienced, the effects of mental health problems, just as physicals are associated with morbidity. Further, doctors do not contrary to what most people think have a knee-jerk instinct to medicate all psychological problems. They can refer you to either a psychiatrist or psychologist. You might get access to cognitive-behavioural therapy.

    I think, Ioannes, though you have had negative experiences with the medications, it not so wise to discourage 'Just by me' to go seek expert advice. Mental health problems, if that is what we are indeed talking about, is most certainly worst dealing with it on one's own. It is precisely the problem in mental health problems, that judgment and insight are impaired as part of the problem. It is really simplistic and self-defeating to think "it is in my head"- because what is in your head is causing real symptoms and real impairment and real morbidity. Your social life and mood are already casualties, what Ioannes do you think should happen until 'Just by me' seeks medical advice?

    I like the advice by PeterA, I just think that you should consult others.

    Yes, by all means, use much discretion, but it really does not help 'Just by me' to foster her paranoia by saying you cannot trust clergy and family and doctors?! Yes, they may "not get it"; they may give advice that you do not want; but consider the alternative- your alienation from others that already is taking place?!

    Sincerely.
  • Thank you Clay and Ioannes,

    I respect all POVs.

    I had a rough day today.

    This may sound pathetic but is there anyway that I can indirectly ask what are people saying about me. I mean even Christ Himself questioned the Disciples, saying "Who do people say I am?".

    Thanks and God Bless.
  • Hey Just By Me, I may be missing the whole point, but I'll try to give my two cents:

    I have also struggled with such an issue. I kept worrying about what people think of me, or how I look before others. However, what must overcome that is, I believe, one's love towards Christ. When I began to see God's love towards me, how He always forgave me for the worst of sins, how He gave me my house, my church, everything, how loving He is, I began to say to myself that I do not care what happens but that I should live for Christ alone. I did not care if someone did not like how I did that or if someone saw me do this and that. I just concentrated on Christ because He was all I have.

    This helped develop a strong personality, one that would not change wherever you are. Whether you are with a priest, whether you are in school, whether you are in church, whether you are with family, you would not look to your surroundings but would rather look towards Heaven, towards God, who loves you and has kept you safe ever since your childhood. THANK Him for the trial, for we know that by it, we will grow stronger.

    I heard a made-up story before in which a man kept pushing a rock (that God told him to push) but failed every time. He struggled and struggled but failed. He cried out to Christ telling Him that he is unable, he is a failure for not being able to move the rock. God answered, telling him that He did not tell the man to move the rock, but rather, to push it. The man thought that he had made no progress. However, he had become stronger by pushing every day. In the same way, thank God for by it, you will grow stronger.

    A few minutes ago, I read this verse, and it seems that it fully applies to this situation:

    "If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is our life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory." (Co 3:1-4)

    *SORRY FOR THE LONG MESSAGE
  • [quote author=Just Be Me link=topic=12674.msg148999#msg148999 date=1323806807]
    This may sound pathetic but is there anyway that I can indirectly ask what are people saying about me. I mean even Christ Himself questioned the Disciples, saying "Who do people say I am?"

    Trying to indirectly ask a question will only bring negative results. It's always better to be direct and say what's on your mind. And you should only do this with people who will not abuse your trust in them. Acquaintances will not entrust your heart, neither will the general population, because it is a natural psychological defense mechanism to bend the truth in self-interest. Ask your father of confession. Ask someone who has already demonstrated care for your soul, be it a Sunday school servant, an elder, a deacon or a wise uncle or aunt.

    Regarding your second statement, I am afraid you misunderstand the Gospel. Christ didn't ask the disciples "Who do people say I am?" because of insecurity. He asked so St Peter can experience the power of the Holy Spirit, and the knowledge revealed by the Father above when he (Peter) answer affirmativally that He is the "Christ, the Son of God". If Christ didn't need to ask at all because He is God who is omniscient (all-knowing). We know this because many times the Gospel evangelists would comment "He (Christ), knowing their thoughts, said....".

    What we can tell you without any reservation is that Christ calls you a "beloved son/daughter of God", made in the image of God, a temple of the Holy Spirit, His sheep, a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, powerful enough to do all things in Christ who strengthens you. This is who you are. You just need to hear this from a priest or a good Christian role model.
  • Thanks for the support and the story drilago99!

    [quote author=Remnkemi link=topic=12674.msg149008#msg149008 date=1323814386]
    [quote author=Just Be Me link=topic=12674.msg148999#msg148999 date=1323806807]
    This may sound pathetic but is there anyway that I can indirectly ask what are people saying about me. I mean even Christ Himself questioned the Disciples, saying "Who do people say I am?"



    Regarding your second statement, I am afraid you misunderstand the Gospel. Christ didn't ask the disciples "Who do people say I am?" because of insecurity. He asked so St Peter can experience the power of the Holy Spirit, and the knowledge revealed by the Father above when he (Peter) answer affirmativally that He is the "Christ, the Son of God". If Christ didn't need to ask at all because He is God who is omniscient (all-knowing). We know this because many times the Gospel evangelists would comment "He (Christ), knowing their thoughts, said....".




    Remnkemi,
    It seems that I said this in a way that makes it misunderstood...of course, I do know that Christ did not ask it out of insecurity and He knows the thoughts of all. It would be a shame if I didn't. I was only bringing this up because of the way Christ asked it. He wants to "find out" (quote-unquote) what people are saying about Him. And I do know that Christ's intentions in asking this question was for St. Simon-Peter to proclaim Him as the Son of God--so that the Church may be built on him, etc. That is why I brought it up.

    Thanks drilago99 once again and please forgive me Remnkemi as I was misunderstood.

    ~~~~
    I know that I have the power to change my life and turn it around. I know I can do this through God.

    Every time I want to though, I feel paralyzed and I know it is the envy of the devil.

    I ask God "why have You forsaken me?," "why do You turn Your face from me?."

    I want to change, but I have these thoughts in my head that tear me up on the inside.
  • [quote author=Just Be Me link=topic=12674.msg149010#msg149010 date=1323816067]
    Every time I want to though, I feel paralyzed and I know it is the envy of the devil.
    I want to change, but I have these thoughts in my head that tear me up on the inside.


    +Stop these thoughts as soon as you sense a little of it emerging into a thought. We always have to be on guard with our thoughts, because if corrupt thoughts aren't dealt with, they turn into corrupt actions/words, these corrupt actions/words are sin, and the wages of sin is death. If we let our mind run wild, rather than control it, we will inevitably have to face the end product.

    There are numerous ways to end a corrupt thought. The Jesus prayer, the sign of the Cross, changing the subject in your head to contemplate about something spiritual, and/or think that the devil is laughing and mocking you as you adhere to the thoughts he's presenting to you.

    Counter-act those thoughts with a strengthening thought. For example, if you think people are talking bad about you, replace that thought with, "It doesn't matter, let them say things, I only care what God thinks."
    Who cares what people say about us, why should we care about our reputation - when we know what people are saying are not true? - we don't need to prove ourself to anybody (unless if they don't know the full story, but if they are still reluctant after, walk away) because God knows you and that's sufficient. The people, who knew not the truth of God, spread all kinds of nonsense about the Logos but it didn't shake Him, He said, "Even if I bear witness of Myself, My witness is true, for I know where I came from and where I am going; but you do not know where I come from and where I am going." - John 8:14

    During the wide-spread Arianism, many said to Saint Athanasius, “The whole world is against you!” and he replied fervently “And I am against the world!” Such is the child of God! To stand, even unto the end, for the truth of God.

    Our lives and actions do not depend on what other people say. When people say we are a bad person or a good person... there is news: God isn't going to send us to heaven or hell just because someone recommended it to Him (quoted by H.H. Pope Shenouda III)

    "For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ." - Gal. 1:10

    But saying this, it is great to have Godly friends and to surround ourselves with Godly counsel. They are the ones who will be helping us to Christ... they are the true friends.
    The counsel of wicked men, on the other hand, will bring us far from the love of God... for "Evil company corrupts good habits." - 1 Cor. 15:33 To recognise this bad company - “For a good tree does not bear bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. For every tree is known by its own fruit. For men do not gather figs from thorns, nor do they gather grapes from a bramble bush. A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks." - Luke 6:43-45

    [quote author=Just Be Me link=topic=12674.msg149010#msg149010 date=1323816067]
    I ask God "why have You forsaken me?," "why do You turn Your face from me?."

    Hope in God, for it stops all wars. If we feel God has forsaken us, remember He is still in you. His Spirit is within you. Do not be troubled, neither be afraid. If you can't feel His Presence, remember He still loves you, He shed His blood and was despised by His own creation for His creation ...for you.
    Tell Him, I can't feel You. Tell Him, I need Your peaceful presence within me. Tell Him all things, what's in your heart and give Him your worries. The Agpeya initiates His perfect presence every time. He answers.
  • a wise post again, +iloveJesus.
    i especially love baba athanasius saying 'and i am against the world!'
    just be me, i hope u were able to discuss yr problem with a kind priest, may God give u wisdom and strength.
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