God bless all of you
My dad, I love him very much he's a great father and I've never seen anyone work harder to provide and has always been there with his tough love and generous advice.
I just have a problem with him, he is very negative. He can turn any situation into a bad one, people don't want to spend time with him because he criticizes situations and people. He is one of those people who doesn't care who you are, if he feels that you are wrong he will tell you. This is a good thing at times because you stand your ground but at times it is very unhelpful.
These kinds of situations happen ALL DAY for random things. When he comes home, we try to be on our best behavior and keep the house as clean and neat as possible to avoid any harsh words. Somehow he usually has something to complain about though, I am not exaggerating when I say this: about 60 to 70% or more of what he says is a complaint or a criticism about either me or my other siblings or my mom. As a result we do not choose on our own to spend time with him most of the time but if we do it is out of courtesy, when we have an issue we tell our mother. As the oldest, I feel like many things are my fault and there is a sense of shame all of us have whenever we talk to him which I really feel is unnecessary feeling to have around family. I feel that I should be able to speak freely with him and not be afraid to mess up or dissapoint him.
My mother, and siblings and I are avid members of our church. We help in the Sunday School and travel for conferences. Our Spiritual lives first priority in our conversations and life in general. My father does not attend except perhaps Easter and doesn't understand how we have taken a liking to church. He doesn't forbid it but he wants us to focus on our academics more. We are not bad kids, people are always telling us how we are great and our parents are lucky but we aren't treated like we are worth much at home.
Again, I love my dad, to be honest I don't remember these kinds of things when I was younger but its becoming worst in the past 5-7 years or so. I'm not sure if its stresses from work trying to make ends meet or just unhappiness with himself. Have you heard of this kind of negative situation?? What do you think this is coming from?
Also can you give me advice on how to deal with this in a Christian way? I am a young woman (20's) and I am finding harder to deal with this, I feel that it is so unnecessary and I don't think we should have to quietly deal with it. If I bring it up with him calmly and rationally he will point out a flaw in me and not listen to what I have to say. Or he'll just be offended that we think we should have a talk about this. I really don't know what to do please help. In the mean time I'm praying about it.
God be with you all