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Medicine and Faith
The medicines I have been taking were making me so tired, the combination seemed to work well despite that. I told the doctor this and asked for a specific medicine that I had used that did give me energy. She of course refused so I told her I wanted off the one medication that made me most tired. She shockingly obliged. I have found that since that time I have really stopped caring about my spiritual life, although I had been struggling before this, going off the meds seemed to make it worse. This got me thinking, why would I need meds to better my spirituality? Abouna says I am being attacked, yet it seemed to coincide with going off the meds, so is this actually real or is it in my head and masked when the meds are taken? Wouldnt this prove that I do not have free will? If this is a result of something wrong with my brain, this of course meaning that spirituality is all in my head and controlled by specific parts of the brain and neurotransmitters. Does anyone have an answer for this? A good one would help because I really dont care anymore.
Comments
Everything that happens to our body happens to US. So when we have a toothache it makes it hard to concentrate on anything else. This does not mean that we lose our relationship with God, but it does mean that it is less manifest to our consciousness which is occupied with pain.
We are neither simply thinking animals, nor spirits trapped in flesh. We are embodied spirits in which the spirit and flesh are intimately and essentially united.
When we take medications it can drastically affect our mental balance, and therefore the matrix (if you like) in which our spirit manifests itself in this physical world. I know that when I am tired it is often difficult to 'feel' spiritual. But this is when it is necessary to rely on spiritual habit, and on the decision of our will to engage in prayer whatever we feel like.
In the First World War, for instance, who was the true patriot? The one who felt patriotic all the time, or the one who felt rubbish, confused, scared and angry - BUT STAYED TO DO HIS DUTY IN ANY CASE?
I think it must be the same with us whenever we feel dead or worse do not feel anything at all. We must be courageous and cry out to the darkness asking for strength to carry on however we feel. "Lord, I do not feel anything. But I offer you my emptiness and dryness. Restore unto me the joy of Thy salvation".
When I have felt disconnected in the Liturgy I have reminded myself that it is not because God is not present in blinding glory, but because my spiritual eyes are dimmed and diseased so that I cannot see the light clearly.
Be brave and choose God. Many of us are always praying for you. Feelings do not matter in the end. It is choices that matter.
God bless you and watch over you.
Father Peter
I am not sure I am a spiritual father, but I am willing to try and be a friend.
Father Peter
Sorry to be annoying, but are the rest of us allowed to have your Skype name? Do you take confessions over Skype?
lol
Thanks Fr. Peter.