I just can't understand this, boys become sexually mature around age by age 14 and girls by 12, while to be mature enough for marriage, you need to be around 25 or older ! so why did God make us capable of having a regular sexual relation at that early age ? Did God expect us to marry at age 14 or 12 ? I believe not ! So what is that poind of those 10-15 years of torture ? why did God put this instinct inside us then asked us to fight against it ?
Did God put this instinct inside us to help us breed easily ? Sorry, that doesn't justify making us struggle all our lives against sexual temptations ! If it is just for the few times needed to have children, I can handle just doing some "weird stuff" for the sake of having children without the need for any instincts. The funny thing is, when you search for a wife or husband, the church advises you not to put sex as your primary goal and it should be way down the list ! what the heck ? So if sex is not even that important after marriage, so what was the need for it in the first place ?
Some people might argue that sex is a gift from God if practiced in the right situation i.e after marriage, but that doesn't make any sense either because when you look at the whole picture, you will find that the cons are way more than the pros. Yeah, we have to look at the cost benefit when evaluating things. Let me put it this way, as a good christian, you will have sex only with your spouse who is most probably not very sexually attractive (becuase you didn't focus on that when choosing your partner) for few years. I was told that after having children, sex with spouse is not possible most of the times and if it happens, it is usually not that fun. Now compare that to the life long struggle against sexual desire which includes sex before marraige, extra marital affairs, masturbation, pornography, bad thoughts and so forth. Going through endless cycles of sinning-repenting ain't fun at all. It is psychologically damaging if you want to be religious. What do you think ? really torture ... Ok, even if I agree that sex is a gift from God, I still believe that allowing us to be physiologically ready to do it at 12 and 14 (sometimes 9 and 10) really needs explanation. Please don't tell me that there were certain places where people used to marry at young age. Those are exceptions. It is not gonna kill them if they wait till after 20 in order to keep up with the worldwide average age of marriage !
When I compare that to other sins like smoking, alcoholism and drug addiction, stealing, killing, suicide bombing (lol), I find those much easier to deal with. At least you can CHOOSE not to learn those. All my best friends are smokers but I am not. I have no problems with that, not a big deal because I don't have any innate temptations to smoke. I was given the choice and I chose not to do it. On the other hand, i just found sexual desire inside me without having any choice to introduce it into my body.
I am sorry for the very long post but I am just venting my frustration. Every time I think about the number of people who will go to hell JUST BECAUSE OF SEXUAL SINS, I become more and more surprised why God put us in that situation.
Comments
http://www.stmaryscopticorthodox.ca/content/sermons/frathanasius/spirituality/3chastity.mp3
(in short he explains how this love is meant to help us understand Christ's love for the church)
As for the sexual maturity at 12 and 14, in the past, it was the norm (not the exception) to bear children at around that age. Only with the advent of industrialization, a longer education system, and better healthcare did people start delaying when they bore children.
[quote author=servant33 link=topic=10398.msg126499#msg126499 date=1294340617]
An Abouna answers this exact question in the first 5 minutes of this sermon:
http://www.stmaryscopticorthodox.ca/content/sermons/frathanasius/spirituality/3chastity.mp3
(in short he explains how this love is meant to help us understand Christ's love for the church)
I understand what you are saying but as I argued before, it is a matter of cost benefit. The benefit of sexual desire is so little compared to the damage it causes to our spiritual life. I am sure there were much more simple ways to help us understand Christ's love to the church ! I am really not convinced by the answer of Abouna.
[quote author=servant33 link=topic=10398.msg126499#msg126499 date=1294340617]
As for the sexual maturity at 12 and 14, in the past, it was the norm (not the exception) to bear children at around that age. Only with the advent of industrialization, a longer education system, and better healthcare did people start delaying when they bore children.
Ok, but was just hoping that there were some kind of evolution in our bodies to cope with needs of the modern life. FYI, the onset of sexual maturity is not well understood. No one have an exact explanation why this person becomes mature at that particular age. So lets hope God can postpone it till at least 20, which I am sure will make lives of servants like you much easier in terms of dealing with teenager's problems ;D
Thank you for your frank question regarding a topic which I am sure is of importance to many single people.
I came across a detailed discussion to this issue written by a christian man by the name of Grantley Morris. Although some parts of his talk were maybe a bit too descriptive for my liking, he has done a fantastic job backing up his discussions with quotes from the Word of God.
I have cut and paste a few samples from it, for your reference below.
If anyone is interested in means to how we can overcome these frustrations and struggles, please feel free to look at the link to the original article.
http://net-burst.net/singles/single.htm
I would really recommend this particular article and others by this guy for topics that are really hard-hitting and often inadequately answered at church...Can't imagine Abouna discussing in such detail, that's for sure! ::)
Handling the Pressures of Being Single
Even for virgins who never marry, sexual desires are a blessing from God. The fact remains, however, that while a person is celibate, sexual yearnings usually feel like a curse. In this webpage we will examine why sex is such a source of torment for single people and explore ways of reducing the frustration.
As singles, we can be sorely tempted to resent the fact that God has gifted us with sexuality.
Our sexual torment is not because of the way God made us, but because we live in a world that is in rebellion against its Maker. Don’t blame God, for instance, that children mature sexually long before they are mentally ready for marriage.
Studies indicate that children are reaching puberty at younger and younger ages, thus increasing the time over which they must cope with urges that cannot find legitimate expression until marriage. Some people are affected more than others.
Early sexual maturation is part of the vast discrepancy between the way things presently are and the way they would be if all humanity had done things God’s way.
Grantley also goes on to say:
I resented my sex drive as a useless source of torment. It was not until relatively recently that I finally realized the value of having to daily wrestle with temptation. Such spiritual battles make us stronger, more Christlike, and more able to stand in the day of severe testing.
We do not have to struggle through life over-burdened with demanding, out-of-control sexual urges. As impossible as it seems, we can actually put our libidos to sleep. The bad news is that the reason it seems impossible is that it takes enormous effort and self-denial to put our demanding desires to sleep. Like naughty children, our sex drives do not want to settle down. The only way to get your hyperactive sex drive to sleep is the same way to get a hyperactive child to sleep – keep denying it things that will keep it excited. You have to keep telling it things like: “No, you can’t watch five minutes more television. It will give you bad dreams and disturb your sleep. No, you can’t play your computer game. You’ll want to do it over and over rather than sleep. No, you can’t play with your friend. You’ll get too excited and never settle down. No, you can’t have a drink.”
We keep stubbornly denying it things that will excite it, refusing to heed its excuses and demands and protests. For a very long time it will seem impossible to get it to calm down but if we persist for long enough, eventually it will quieten. And when it finally settles, we have to remain vigilant, consistently avoiding anything that will wake it.
Dear brothers and sisters in Christ, I would again really recommend people of all ages to have a read of this article and others like it, for our edification.
God bless,
Miriam