its so darn hard!

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mabsoota

did u pray from agpeya?
just thinking on your own isn't usually enough, it's better to meditate on God's words in the Bible.
i find this website really useful, and read the daily readings (under 'our faith' in the drop-down menu) before praying. if u still find it hard after that, pray 1 or 2 of the hours from the agpeya. i usually pray whichever is nearest the time i pray, eg the website says it's 8.30 american time, so i would pray the 11th hour (vespers) or the 12th hour.
just saying these words, even if you are not aware of God listening, gives order to your brain, and makes you more in harmony with God.
then forgive people you are angry with.
then repent of your sins and ask God's forgiveness.
then, if you still can't meditate on God's words and His love, pray for people you know and people who are suffering.

and basically keep going with prayer and Bible reading until you are more aware of God.
sometimes it takes more than a day to get close to God, especially if you have not been praying a lot recently.
the Bible says 'seek the Lord and He will be found'. now if u lost an expensive watch, u wouldn't just look in a couple of draws and then on the floor in your room and say 'nope, can't find it, gonna give up'! improving yr spiritual life is sometimes a bit like that looking desparately for that expensive watch, emptying every draw and room until you find it.

may God guide you, and pray for me too, your sister mabsoota.