https://tasbeha.org/community/categories/personal-issues/p15/feed.rss Mon, 22 Jun 2026 02:54:05 +0000 Personal Issues - Tasbeha.org Community en-CA https://tasbeha.org/community/discussion/11472/gods-will Thu, 19 May 2011 17:34:35 +0000 bigeee 11472@/community/discussions
or in the bible does it tell us we chose the one in gods image who will love the lord more then anything and the couple will make christ our lord the center of the relitonship?]]> https://tasbeha.org/community/discussion/11451/regarding-what-is-happening-in-egypt Mon, 16 May 2011 20:02:44 +0000 My_Coptic_Church1 11451@/community/discussions i'm 14 and i am aware of all the attacks and martyrdom of all the
Coptic Christians in Egypt.
My Question is: that i know that God is looking over us and he has a plan for every one and that he chooses who to get martyred for a reason but is it wrong that i should feel a little scared about my family and friends in Egypt?]]> https://tasbeha.org/community/discussion/11442/coptic-old-testament Sat, 14 May 2011 23:24:13 +0000 Meena_Ameen 11442@/community/discussions https://tasbeha.org/community/discussion/11438/problems Sat, 14 May 2011 10:49:49 +0000 henrik.hank 11438@/community/discussions https://tasbeha.org/community/discussion/11410/wrong-forum-sorry Mon, 09 May 2011 23:54:25 +0000 Abanoub737 11410@/community/discussions https://tasbeha.org/community/discussion/11328/an-eternal-struggle Wed, 27 Apr 2011 02:05:28 +0000 kokiie 11328@/community/discussions
I recently renewed my relationship with God after a lengthy period of distance. I am now struggling to stay consistent in prayer and other spiritual activities that I have scheduled for myself, and in turn I feel very distant from God and just terrible overall. Even though this is happening, I have an inclination to distract myself from such feelings rather than fix the obvious problem. This is obviously a very silly thing to do.. but it's what I end up doing time and time again. Every time I kind of pick up some momentum, I come back to this place. I used to think it's because I am just starting my relationship with God, and I am not used to it.. But now I'm starting to think this is just something that I will always continue to struggle with. I'm not referring to struggling with long hours of prayer here, just simple open communication with God and allowing Him to communicate with me throughout my day.

I suppose my question is this: Will this be an eternal struggle? Or is more like a temporary but necessary rite of passage?

Please pray for me!]]> https://tasbeha.org/community/discussion/11342/1-timothy-4-8 Thu, 28 Apr 2011 18:30:45 +0000 ChristOnly 11342@/community/discussions
As a hardcore athlete and struggling Christian, this verse comes to me as troublesome.

Should Christians enhance their bodies through exercise?


Thanks in advance.]]> https://tasbeha.org/community/discussion/11266/my-thoughts Thu, 14 Apr 2011 16:39:36 +0000 Tzegemariam 11266@/community/discussions
I don't know how to control my thoughts, I have been having bad thoughts for like two years like about anything. I try to pray and do metanyas when they come but they always seem to be there. How should i fight them, i hate them and dont want them in my mind.

Please pray for me and explain to me how to fight them!

Advice please


A sinner
May God Bless]]> https://tasbeha.org/community/discussion/11351/personal-problem-depression-over-failed-relationship Fri, 29 Apr 2011 18:02:18 +0000 DanieM 11351@/community/discussions
these last few weeks (apart from Pascha) I have been feeling extremely depressed and generally down.

3 weeks ago me and my girlfrend broke up, this was only a 6 month relationship but my only one in the last 5-6 years, so it meant a lot. We broke up mutually but it had to happen, as she was starting to push many personal problems on me (she drank a lot, and was very critical of my faith.)
So when we broke up I decided to completely sever all ties with her, deleting her number, email, facebook, untagging photos etc... I did do things such as keep in touch with some of her friends to check that she was OK, but apart from that we had no contact. She did get very upset about all of this, and sent me lots of quite abusive messages, emails and things, though me and others agreed that a complete severing of ties was best.

So... 3 weeks on and I feel awful, I am currently on painkillers (I had my wisdom teeth taken out 2 days ago) which may attribute to some of it, but I got in contact with my ex through a mutual friend, and she is completely past it all, and has no intention of meeting up with me or reconciling, which hurt a lot since until around a week ago she wanted to be together again (though I was busy with church things for Pascha so could not meet.) She even told me that she never wants to speak to me again, which hurt a lot.

generally due to this I feel massively depressed, and quite worthless. I am even having trouble concentrating on work and my prayers.
Does anyone have any advice?]]> https://tasbeha.org/community/discussion/11341/the-holy-spirit Thu, 28 Apr 2011 16:04:14 +0000 liftmyheart 11341@/community/discussions Sometimes, when I pray to the Lord and release my heart, I feel a chill in my body and it starts from my stomache to my heart. This happens quite often; and I want to think that it's the holy spirit, but I do not want to deceive myself. Do you guys also get this feeling?]]> https://tasbeha.org/community/discussion/11325/gossiping Wed, 27 Apr 2011 00:37:48 +0000 i.love.st.demyana. 11325@/community/discussions stop gossiping, I know everyone does it but I feel i do it way to much. Does anybody have nay advice to what I can do every time i have the urge to gossip?]]> https://tasbeha.org/community/discussion/11201/advise-please Tue, 05 Apr 2011 20:23:18 +0000 [Deleted User] 11201@/community/discussions
With that said, something is bothering me at school, some of you might laugh at me, but really I don't mind or care if anyone does because I want to learn how to deal with this correctly.

At school, I have one class, actually three classes that I really really really wish I wasn't in, which are my electives. The reason is because of how provocative and immature and perverted the people are in my class.
When I say people, I mean including the teacher. And I will explain why.

Especially this one class - Spanish every single person in that class except two or three people other than me are not perverted, yes the teacher is perverted and guess what?! He is a guy teacher.
Like one time, the "teacher" showed us a Shakira video clip in class from youtube. Guess what was in that video clip? Bad dancing, bad words, some nudity(not much)but it was bad.

Now, literally they talk about **x in class. I was taught to avoid listening or hearing or joining in to a conversation that has to do with anything I know is bad.

I don't give anyone a chance to talk, touch, joke with me in a bad way, but despite that, I still hear the conversations and I have no intention listening to the devil speak around me.

I asked my mom what I should do she said to plug my ears with cotton....she was serious. Of course that is unreal because we all know that it does not work.

I really don't know what to do. I know that I should stand strong and not give in no matter what. I know I should pray. But I want to stay clean by the end of the day; not unclean.

Any advise?
Please remember me in your prayers.]]> https://tasbeha.org/community/discussion/11316/help-me-in-my-struggle Sun, 24 Apr 2011 23:34:02 +0000 liftmyheart 11316@/community/discussions I have a problem, or rather many, that is plaguing and troubling me greatly.
I had an addiction with masturbation and lust beginning at a young age. From this masturbation, I felt ashamed and not worthy to go to church, thus I stopped going for a very long time (many years). However, I do make a concientouss effort to not masturbate, and have been succeeding. Actually, I have been clean for a very long time now. The problem is, however, after a while of not doing this, my mind becomes plagued with evil thoughts and insecurities. I become so severely depressed to the point where I don't feel like speaking, or acting, but just feel like sitting down and breaking. I have been going to church recently, and praying everyday from my heart for God to help me through my problems. But it seems, that no matte rhow well I act, or how good of a Christian I am, I am always meant to be hurt.

This depression is not new; I was depressed for a long time each of the last couple of years. I am wondering if this depression is caused due to lack of masturbation; because I really can't think of a reason why I am just so depressed?]]> https://tasbeha.org/community/discussion/11291/serving-as-deacon-over-pascha Tue, 19 Apr 2011 16:32:34 +0000 DanieM 11291@/community/discussions
I am a reader in the British Orthodox Church and will be taking some of the deacon's duties over Pascha (Mainly on thursday-sunday) and am wondering if anyone could give me some advice and handy tips for this, as I am quite nervous about screwing up.  :D

Any random handy tips or friendly advice would be great.
Your prayers too would help.  ;D

Thanks,
Daniel]]> https://tasbeha.org/community/discussion/11284/apartment-mate-issue-please-help Tue, 19 Apr 2011 03:58:15 +0000 yousiegtennis 11284@/community/discussions I have a problem and I don't know what to do about it; I'm hoping someone will be able to offer some advice.  This might be a lengthy post.  I want to state from now that I'm not saying all this because I expect pity from people.  I am saying a lot of details because I really want to know: is it my problem or her problem?  Perhaps I am doing something wrong, I don't know.  I sincerely wish to know because I am losing my patience very quickly...I'm extremely surprised I was able to keep it this long.  I also sincerely wish to find a solution to this problem.  Thank you in advance.  Here goes...

I live on campus in an apartment with three other girls.  Two of the girls I get along with pretty well.  However, the third girl is really giving me trouble.  She is very rude; she never says "Good morning" or "Hello" and doesn't really acknowledge anyone's presence in the apartment but her own and whatever guy she happens to be with at the moment.  When I'm reading my Bible or praying, she deliberately talks to me, even though it's clear that I won't answer her until I'm done.  She never washes her dishes, she got a piercing and complains day and night about it, she complains all the time that our apartment is a mess and never takes the initiative to clean anything (in fact, she really hasn't cleaned a thing since we started living in the apartment) and always complains to us (me, especially) that our dishes are in the sink and that the kitchen sink stinks.  I washed her dishes for her once because I felt sorry for her.  She called me lame because I said that I don't drink.  The first quarter of school, she almost attempted suicide, the second quarter, she started going out partying with this guy, this current quarter, she comes home drunk almost every night from partying and she usually has a guy friend with her.  Once, she brought a guy friend with her...perhaps they were going out, I'm not sure...and they were engaged in PDA (which was not cool and very distracting as I was trying to study).  Another time, she allowed him to sleep in our apartment without our permission.  I spoke to her about this because it really upset me and bothered me (it also bothered the other girls) and she became extremely upset about it and started treating me worse than before (even though I didn't speak to her in a demeaning or rude way, I was losing my patience on the inside but I controlled my anger and was rather calm for a change).  She was also extremely upset that I told one of our other apartment mates about the attempted suicide incident, even though it concerns all of us and the RA talked to us about it.  Nevertheless, I apologized to her.  I have always been kind to her and try my best not to do anything that I think would bother her.  Now she is upset that I slept on the couch instead of my bed for like 2 nights and she told her guy friend and she basically cussed me out.  I heard everything they said; it really hurt my feelings because I didn't do anything to her except sleep on the couch.  She never sits outside anyway, she locks herself in her room the entire day.  I think she is still upset that I spoke to her about the guy sleeping over incident.  I realize that my sleeping on the couch might have bothered her...but I don't think it deserved the reaction she had.  Perhaps I am wrong to get upset over this and perhaps I did make a mistake...I don't know...

Tension is getting very high in our apartment between me and her to the point where I thought we might actually get into a fist fight (I'm not worried about that, I can take care of myself relatively well)...I really don't know how to get the tension to go down and how to not be angry with her (this is anger on the inside, I have never expressed anger towards her outwardly).  I don't know what to do...I need advice...please help me.]]> https://tasbeha.org/community/discussion/11298/greed Thu, 21 Apr 2011 19:03:05 +0000 orthodox4ever 11298@/community/discussions
Pray for me]]> https://tasbeha.org/community/discussion/10895/fasting-problems Fri, 04 Mar 2011 13:04:48 +0000 Zoxsasi 10895@/community/discussions
I'm really enjoying fasting. I think its doing me a world of good. However, I work quite hard and sometimes if I have had nothing to eat, I lose focus on my work.

Today, I was working and I missed lunch - due to the workload. So, I went down to get a bite to eat, but all that was left was mackarel (fish) salad. So I had it. I was starving.

Is it so bad?

Do i need to confess?

Also, i had coffee in the morning, and I think the bottle next to me was cream. It looked like cream, it tasted like cream, but when I read the ingredients, it was in Dutch, so I couldn't be 110% sure it really was cream. I thought that it could be soya cream. Is that OK if I keep on taking it with my coffee - so long as I don't ask someone what the ingredients are who speaks dutch?

Let's say that it is soya cream - that's great.
Let's say its not soya cream - who is going to know? Right?

Thanks]]> https://tasbeha.org/community/discussion/11244/holy-week-work-or-pray Tue, 12 Apr 2011 06:15:47 +0000 andrew8345 11244@/community/discussions
Taking four classes and working on campus is exhausting. The only way I would be able to really benefit from the Holy Week is to put school aside. Inevitably, as a result, my grades will slip. I am weak and will not be able to do both.

School and work have already consumed my life to the point that I have not attended one weekday liturgy this Great Lent!! In times past I used to go at least twice a week.

I am finding myself between a rock and a hard place. I can't let my grades falter and I can't miss the prayer services!

Pray for me. ]]> https://tasbeha.org/community/discussion/11227/people-in-church Sat, 09 Apr 2011 03:13:53 +0000 Natalie I 11227@/community/discussions P.s. sorry for the rant sadly I could write more haha but I have been surpressing this for a while anyway God bless and keep me in your prayers for I am a weak sinner.
Thank you]]> https://tasbeha.org/community/discussion/11200/serious-issue-can-t-make-up-my-mind Tue, 05 Apr 2011 01:30:53 +0000 marinaE 11200@/community/discussions
i need some advice on a life changing decision that i need to make. i read posts on very similar but i was unfortunately not able to get a good enough answer (so i apologise if u feel like this is a repition of another post by someone else). i'll try to keep this as short as i can but i also need to include enough details for you to be able to help me, so please bare with me.

i 've known a guy through church for about two years, but we weren't really speaking much, and about 5 months ago ( after "talking properly" a couple of months) he spoke to my dad about our marriage. i only accepted to get to know him abit and we have been talking since. lately, i have been considering a break up, i feel like we have so many difference. he grew up in a completely different environments. he is a great guy, he fears god and is very religious ( i even sometimes think that it is more than i can handle which is only my problem and not his). we are different in every way, though we seem to be agreeing on general topics, but our opinions are different, our lifestyles are different, i even some education gaps ( we both went to uni, but i grew up outside egypt and he only came recently). i'm the kind of person that can get my point across to people and also learnt to understand and empathise with people to my best ability and i think this is the only reason we seem to be managing o.k.
ever since we started talking, i havent been able to fall in love with him. he tries very hard to please me and sometimes does stuff which i appreciate, but i never felt that this was enough, i have been in other relationships before(which may be ungodly) but i was always able to feel the spark, and fall in love with those people without needing to reason it. i just can't have that with him, in fact, other people(friends) mean more to me than him. everything in him is sitting at 50 %. i also think that our abilities are not equal ( i can always give more, emotionally, mentally, phsycolgically) whereas his best job is never satisfactory to me. we also have some major disagreenment in our relationship that make things more difficult. we also have a 7 year age gap and i'm only 20( he is older) which always seemed to be generally to much for me.

i have always wanted to be married, i am a very romantic and emotionally sensitive person and find that this bond of marriage to be the most important thing on earth, and this is why i was ok with dating him. i just want to be in a relationship, however i don't find him suitable or sufficient to my needs.

the only reason i would go on with our relationship is that he likes me and is willing to put in effort to make the gap smaller ( he said he will try be more romantic, work on his education, and try to afford a better financial stability) but i feel like this isnt right. i appreciate how he is trying hard to please me, but i think that partners should work on improving compatibility. we are either compatible or not, love each other or don't.  i feel like these aren't the things that should be worked on.

the other thing is, i can't hear god's voice in this, or at least i'm confused about it. i am struggling in my spiritual life because of the relationships i was involved in before. i even tried to get priest's guidance and hear god's voice through them but even that isn't clear ( mixed opinions) some people tell me that 5 months are not enough to make a decision. but i feel like i know enough to say no to him. but i am worried i am not doing god's will. i often think , what if the problem's me , what if i need to work on suiting him, what if this is my fate and god's will and if i dont do it , i miss out on my chance in marriage. i can't fall in love with him, but i feel like i can put up with it , or that i will manage ok.

i'm really struggling and don't know what's right. i don't know where's the main problem either, they seem to be small stuff that are all necessary which makes me confused. so please help me, and sorry to make this so long

please keep me in ur prayers
God bless :)



]]> https://tasbeha.org/community/discussion/11191/comfortable-with-death Sat, 02 Apr 2011 20:47:22 +0000 f753789 11191@/community/discussions -How can one become comfortable with the concept of death?
-How can one get over death whether it be of a loved one or somebody you've never even known? ..especially with people you dont know if they went to paradise.

Thanks in advance everyone. Please keep me in your prayers.
]]> https://tasbeha.org/community/discussion/10487/personal-issue-marriage Tue, 18 Jan 2011 18:28:25 +0000 [Deleted User] 10487@/community/discussions The user and all related content has been deleted.]]> https://tasbeha.org/community/discussion/11131/what-to-do-about-it Tue, 29 Mar 2011 11:04:21 +0000 Qidus_Michael 11131@/community/discussions I'm new here, I have been viewing this forum for a while though and I thought I would join. I have an issue that I'm wondering if you guys can help me with:
Its kind of a long story:
There is someone he is very kind and is a serious servant of the church and the Orthodox faith. We cannot see each other because he lives in another state but we talk on the phone pretty often. We also have spoken to each other in person. I met him through a mutual friend (we have several mutual friends) and we've been friends ever since. It started out fine, I didn't think of him in a relationship manner at first but as time went on he grew on me and now this is where the dilemma arises.
We talk, we text etc... and We have a friendship  there are always  "more than friend" moments. Ultimately, we both know there is something going on here that is more than a friendship for so many reasons. He is the one implying things most of the time, but as of late we both have begun to show our feelings to each other. The problem is though that we have NEVER come out and say something openly about this situation, about what we are and where we are going with this. We  have been talking for a few years. Recently though, he is sending mixed messages. I'm not sure if its because he is busy (he just got a new job and has classes and family) or perhaps because its the Great Holy Fast or something else. When we talk, he acts normal and even implies that he misses me. But I feel sometimes like I put in more effort into the relationship. I really like him and I don't like the mixed messages BUT I cannot mention this to him directly because technically it is not a "relationship" and if it is simply a friendship and we have not established a relationship then he has no obligation to communicate regularly even though its implied that he should.
Now I am at the stage where I want to put a label on this relationship or cut it off all together because I feel like a yo-yo being put up and down and not knowing where this is going.
Obviously I like him alot but this situation is distracting me because I don't know what this relationship is, where its going or honestly what he thinks about this whole thing as well except he has feelings for me.
Sometimes I wish I never had this situation because once I care about someone I care ALOT and I want to get him out from my mind and just concentrate on God and this fasting season. Not knowing where I stand in this makes me feel unable to concentrate.
I don't know if I'm in love or not or if we should go forward. I could see it going both ways, he's a wonderful person and lover and servant of the church.
If it helps we are adults. (young adults)

Do you guys have ideas or experience with this kind of thing or how to deal with it? Am I being unreasonable, any advice would be great.

Thanks for your help

GOD BLESS YOU ALL!]]> https://tasbeha.org/community/discussion/11077/fasting-struggles Wed, 23 Mar 2011 22:33:18 +0000 fanp94 11077@/community/discussions
Kol sana w' all of you taybeen. I wanted some opinions on fasting. It's been a struggle searching for syami food the past couple weeks and I'm trying my best to maintain my fast. However, I'm growing less attached to my normal meals I always make. Does anyone know any good recepies or just general dish ideas I can make? To be honest, it's really hard fasting in my household because there's barely anything syami and I don't know anything I could make when I'm hungry. I really appreciate any advice on dishes and snacks I can eat.

Thank you so much rabina ma3akom.

]]> https://tasbeha.org/community/discussion/11130/ Tue, 29 Mar 2011 10:46:19 +0000 Qidus_Michael 11130@/community/discussions https://tasbeha.org/community/discussion/11121/please-pray-for-me-so-much-going-on Mon, 28 Mar 2011 15:51:20 +0000 copticuser20 11121@/community/discussions https://tasbeha.org/community/discussion/11083/gluttony Thu, 24 Mar 2011 20:27:53 +0000 orthodox4ever 11083@/community/discussions
Thank You
Pray for me.]]> https://tasbeha.org/community/discussion/11102/works-in-secret Sat, 26 Mar 2011 13:44:53 +0000 yousiegtennis 11102@/community/discussions
Let's look at a hypothetical situation:
Person A has some kind of talent.  Person B is a priest who knows this person has that particular talent.  Person B goes to Person A and tells Person A to use that talent to create something but that he (Person B) will put his name on it.  The object that is to be created involves a ridiculous amount of work in a very short time, it's nearly impossible as Person A truly and sincerely does not have the time or the capacity to do this kind of work and says no to Person B.  Now, bring in another person...Person C.  Person C claims that it doesn't matter what kind of work it is and if Person A gets credit for his/her work as long as it's for church, to get the blessing because it's a service for church; Person C also claims that it would be better not to take credit for the work so that he/she can be rewarded in heaven.

My questions as of right now are:
1) Stealing someone else's work on the pretense that it's a service for church and using the verse in the Bible that says if you perform your works in secret, you will be rewarded openly...does this make it alright?
2) Just because it's a priest who is asking this, does this make it all the more obligatory that Person A must "obey?"
3) Does getting credit for one's work put one in danger of not being rewarded in heaven by God?
4) In the case that it does put you in danger, what can one do in order to use his/her talents for the Glory of God and at the same time not be prey to getting his/her work stolen and being taken advantage of and also be able to receive a heavenly reward?
5) Is getting your work stolen equated with receiving the blessing from a service?

I may have more questions if the ensuing discussion raises them; however, thorough answers to the above questions is greatly appreciated, please and thank you.

Please pray for me a lot.]]> https://tasbeha.org/community/discussion/11100/who-or-what-comes-first-so-confused Sat, 26 Mar 2011 11:55:53 +0000 [Deleted User] 11100@/community/discussions
My parents told me that Mom and Dad are first before anything because one day I was listening to Coptic Hymns on youtube, specifically Epouro, and my dad asked me a question and I didn't notice it was for me because it was a question that he would rather ask my mom, but anyway he shut the computer suddenly and said that parents are first and anything else comes second if I were to abuse this, then I would not go to church for hymns again.

But in the sermon Fr. Peter said that God comes first before anything, if so, how come I got in trouble for praising Him?

Sometimes, my parents tell me that studies come first and anything else is second.

So I am confused, when spending time who should be first or second or third?

Please pray for me.]]> https://tasbeha.org/community/discussion/11089/father-peter-please-reply Fri, 25 Mar 2011 22:47:44 +0000 copt_believer 11089@/community/discussions Father Peter,

I hope this is not inappropriate. I just wanted to get your attention, make a quick request and send you a reminder as I am not sure how often you check your personal messages :)

I have sent you several questions via personal message, the first one was dated 25 May 2010, but I don't think you answered any of them yet  :( I am not sure why. I would very much appreciate your answers to them, especially the ones regarding marriage and the one that I sent today (but also the other ones).

I just wanted to remind you of my questions and request that you please answer them for me  :)

Hope you can help.
God bless

[/quote]

http://tasbeha.org/content/community/index.php/topic,10983.0.html

Father Peter,

I posted this in the 'Faith Issues' section but thought I would post it in the 'Personal Issues' and in the 'Coptic Orthodox Church' sections as well in case you didn't come across it.
]]>