Tasbeha.org Community

I'm sure this was covered before but...
I have been sort of dating this dude for a little bit
and I really like him
however, he's not christian....but i really like him.

And the other girls at church advise me that it's not a big deal, and that we may not get married some day, but it's good to get "practice" at being in a relationship....
I have no idea what to do/think....
help.

yes, follow the advice above.
i never got 'practice' at dating.
happily married for >10 years now...

Well my story is same the only difference is that I am a boy of 21 years old and exactly the same story.
At least I have now some idea what to do or what not, just because of you people and your great suggestions.
thanks!

You guys are right, If I thought this was a good idea, I would have done it rather than doubt and ask a forum!

Abouna Anthony has this to say:

1. Dating is not a practice for Marriage but a practice for divorce. (When things get really bad people break up). Therefore the devil has disguised something bad as practice for something good.

2. Focus on making God THE ONE and HE will find you the two.

No need to "practice" no need to "look" no need to do anything but focus on God.

God Bless and Good luck

Jerty, Don't stay with that girl - she's telling you she is willing to cheat even if she is in a marriage and you are in a marriage!! Leave that girl and find someone more dedicated and mature!! You are confused because that doesn't suit what you want.

I come from a culture that is accepting of the dating scene. There are rules to it of course. But, as for finding someone to "practice" on, I can tell you that that is a major misconception. Even in my culture if you do not have the thought of marrying someone then you had just better leave them be. Be with someone who can either
1 - work with you for a great life
2- comes from the same form of culture-religion
3- is willing to convert and do 80% or more of the changes (they will be living in two worlds) (Which is me ... ha I've always liked the culture before I met him. And I make some of the best Mologheya according to him  )

All these new thoughts about "you-know-what" before marriage and whatever else there is is just misguided kids trying to be cool.

Okay ... lost my train of thought ... hmmm ...

Anyway, my fiance (not really yet - but I have been with him long enough that his family calls us that, 2 years as of November 18) he is Egyptian Coptic and I'm pan-European Metis-Blackfoot Lutheran (haha sorry had to be descriptive there I hate the term "white"). We are in what you call "dating-relationship mode". This is why
1- planning on getting married
2- in my culture we have three stages to getting married, and the stage where we learn who each other is through dating
3- we consider engagment the final step towards marriage
4- we are always with each other and very serious with each other
5- traditionally, women in my culture convert and take housewife roles - even if we do work outside the home, until children come

Traditionally, back in Canadian culture we also had the same steps until everyone moved into the cities (my Mennonite Dutch grandparents did the same). But, now the idea of "Dating" someone took the place of engagment. Back in those days the man did ask the girl's father if he could marry her. But, maybe because of finances or a new way of life people began to "date" and enter into "relationships" to get to know someone and fall in love. With us back when we believed in love comes after marriage, we even had arranged marriages.

So, shortly (sorry I was trying to explain from a local cultural view point) yes, dating is okay if you know both what you want, avoid "temptations", are dedicated to one another, can't live without one another and really really love each other.

But, unfortunately A LOT of people have fallen away from that. So, think with your head first, then your heart. And, if you have faith you will find someone. Maybe someone German like me seems like we are a good mixture. Even one of his uncles married a German woman. I think she was Mennonite too. She converted and they have a good life together

Just my personal thoughts, expectations and experience

Hi everyone, this is a very interesting topic that always is on my mind but first most I always says what does God feel towards us dating. I was told God is forgiving and merciful. I'm in a relationship where I live with my bf and his mom. I have been with him for a year and I know what happens between us is wrong. MY guilt bothers me every second. They are egyptin coptics... and I was hoping he would commit to me so we won't sin everyday. His mom said my sons don't like to be rushed into commitment or the runaway. My problem is im a new christian and lost my family because i chose Christ. They gave me a home when I had no place to stay, but I feel like he will never commit and I should move out but my financial situation is so bad. I have spoken to both of them about  my feelings and how I feel towards the sinning part. Again I was told God is forgiving. I feel like I'm taking advantage of Gods mercy and forgiveness, I feel alone and lost and don't know what to do. I know God comes first but I'm afraid of being homeless. I had very rough life growing up with a muslim family because of my differences about Islam. Most part that bothers me is I never sinned when I was in Islam and I am sinning now as a Christian. I hope Lord you will forgive me and have the most mercy on me.