Too many doors are closing.

[Rony]

Hello all,

Thank you all for your posts. They truly help me. I have an issue here that I think you guys may help me out with. So I have been in probably 3 major relationships in my life (Yes, this is another annoying relationship issue), and of them all I was always the one to be broken up with.

I'm having doubts about marriage. I've talked to my father of confession and he told me that God will, at the right time, present the best for me and that God is preparing me right now and to have faith.

The girl that I was recently talking to we basically started talking and she had baggage as is. Not over her last relationship. But we wanted to do things right. We wanted to take it slow, we wanted Abouna to know, we wanted our parents to know and receive their blessing to continue. But we never even reached that point because she wasn't ready.

I was ready. I have been ready for quite some time now but every time I get into a relationship, something always seems to happen for it to dissolve. It's as if God is telling me, just wait, why pursue these relationships when I have something better for you?

But it's getting harder to wait. I am not enjoying being single. I spend a lot of time serving at the Church but I feel empty because I don't have that special person. I dedicate myself to the Church completely because I feel the Church needs me right now. But I don't know what is going on otherwise. I have faith and trust in God but everything is hazy; I don't know who God wants me to be with. All I know is that God wants me to continue on helping in my church as much as I can.

I have considered being a monk but if I become a monk it will be for all the wrong reasons. I never felt as much as peace as I did when I spent a few days in the monastery. Nothing troubled me.

I just want someone to spend the rest of my life with. God is taking care of me, no doubt and I am trying to spend my life with Him; but I want my helper. And yeah, I guess the issue here is that I'm not being patient. I want what I want now, and God is telling me, NO!

Yet at least, I wish I had some sign, or some marker or some kind of assurance that God has someone planned and lined up for me waiting some day. I am having doubts about this in my relationship with Him. Everything else is fine. I just do not hear His Voice in this issue. He is silent.

[Father Peter]

Hi Rony

I find it useful to reflect on the worst that could happen in all of these sort of circumstances, and give that worst that could happen to God.

What if you never married, and never had a person you could rely on. Are you in a place yet where God would be enough, even if it were painful and trying. I have to ask this of my own circumstances all the time. What if no-one was ever helped by anything I said, or did, or wrote. What if I did nothing at all that had any success. Could I give that failure to God? Would God be enough?

I know that for myself in difficult situations throughout my life I have had to reach a point where knowing God is all that matters. And when we seek first the Kingdom of God then we are able to recieve all these other things which we need as God wills.

I know that it is not easy, or cost free, but do try to abandon all thought of anything other than God, and seek only God every moment of every day, and then, having abandoned all for the love of God you will find that God will work out his purposes in your life. When we are still trying to work out God's purposes for him we just get in the way.

[mabsoota]

father peter's post is lovely, i wrote this as he was typing so i'll post it anyway in case it helps.

how old are you?
(u can answer by pm if u like)
coz if u are still under 30, there is no rush to get married as there is so much else u can be doing while u r young (working, travelling, having more time to serve God then after u r married) so it can be a blessing to be single.
if u r over 30, it can still be a blessing, and as long as u notice when someone shows an interest (i see u have not just been sat looking at yr computer all day, u seem quite sociable) then u don't need to worry, just keep serving God and He will show u the right way. most people who are happily married found their 'other half' while in church. i met my husband at a Christian music festival while travelling in another country. he was one of the 3,000 other people there!

God is not answering yr question coz u r not ready for the answer. maybe u will meet someone amazing in a year or two, but could not bear to imagine now that u would have to wait so long! so if God tells u that, it will not help you right now.
the peace u seek that u found in the moanstery can be found by anyone, married, single or monastic, who is so full of God and the spiritual life that they regularly come close to God and know His love.
one great way to obtain this is by fasting (as much as yr spiritual father advises) during lent and by seeking God in prayer, Bible reading and regularly taking part in Holy Communion.

i would suggest u make a plan to stay single till the end of lent, and then take it from there.
may God bless u and give u peace
 

[Rony]

Father Peter,

Thank you so much for your kind words. I will not give up pursuing God. Christ in my life, I can do anything. Christ not in my life, I can do nothing.

I will continue to seek God and silence my desire for being with someone until the desire I have for God is wholeheartedly and without question greater than any desire I have else.

Mabsoota, as for my age, I am 25. Yes, I am young.

My plan now is to stay single even after Lent and grow in my relationship with God before any other.

Thank you both for your help; I just needed the reassurance to continue on my path.

I will take God's silence in this matter with joy and acceptance.

[user157]

It's tough sometimes to accept things that happen in life and remain at peace especially if it feels it is your fault that you are not good enough
but trust in the mighty power of God that all things work together for good for those who love God
Leave it in Gods hand who is able to do all things and nothing is impossible for Him
He knew you before you were born and decided to put you in the world at this time just like He knew after 70 years of building Solomons temple St Mary would be born
God himself would never forsake you
and those who fear the Lord will not lack any good
Do what you can to correct the situation
And Good Luck
Sorry if my post is offensive
God understands the need to feel loved and honor because He is rejected every day by all those who forsake Him and live in sin
I really hope God takes care of you and me and all is well
But I am offended by those who do not pity me and you
They say to us peace to you and pretend they would be strong and good enough to take this cross but they never would and look down on single people
If we get no reward for being single then God forbid it
They pursue their own selfish desires and on top of that they don't really love the poor

It is written in the bible your maker is your husband but for some people they would beat more fruit as married people because they learn to be responsible
Even Jesus said the Son of man has nowhere to lay His head and had disciples even He was not alone

[user157]

What man if his son asks for bread will give him a stone?

[Rony]

As an update all, it is apparent that God works in mysterious ways. This woman whom I cared so much about left me to pursue a relationship with my best friend (whom they dated 4 years ago). And my best friend only started talking to her when he saw me talking to her.

Glory to God in the highest for saving me from disaster; From being with someone who would always think of someone else.

God loves me, and I love Him. He will always and forevermore be my first love for he has taken care of me through all things, at all times, and in every place.

I should not feel betrayed, but rather, I should ask myself, how many times have I betrayed God by sinning? How much more did a betrayal by His own People did God face? How much betrayal did our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ feel when Judas Iscariot, his best friend, betrayed him for silver?

I must be steadfast in the trust of the Lord, for he has saved me and done what is best for me. He closes doors in my life that would lead me to destruction. And the doors He has opened has always led to joy.

I am thankful to be single again so that I can spend more time on God and the service of the Church. I have no distractions now to keep me from serving the Lord. I will focus as much energy and time I possibly can to serve God and His people.

Thank you all for your help and care. I am glad to know people like you in this forum.

[mabsoota]

we love u too, rony, may God give u peace.

[Joshuaa]

 

As an update all, it is apparent that God works in mysterious ways. This woman whom I cared so much about left me to pursue a relationship with my best friend (whom they dated 4 years ago). And my best friend only started talking to her when he saw me talking to her.

Glory to God in the highest for saving me from disaster; From being with someone who would always think of someone else.

God loves me, and I love Him. He will always and forevermore be my first love for he has taken care of me through all things, at all times, and in every place.

I should not feel betrayed, but rather, I should ask myself, how many times have I betrayed God by sinning? How much more did a betrayal by His own People did God face? How much betrayal did our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ feel when Judas Iscariot, his best friend, betrayed him for silver?

I must be steadfast in the trust of the Lord, for he has saved me and done what is best for me. He closes doors in my life that would lead me to destruction. And the doors He has opened has always led to joy.

I am thankful to be single again so that I can spend more time on God and the service of the Church. I have no distractions now to keep me from serving the Lord. I will focus as much energy and time I possibly can to serve God and His people.

Thank you all for your help and care. I am glad to know people like you in this forum.

   That's great you think and feel that way Rony.
 
    May God always keep you in his peace away from the complications and deceptions that the   devil has that make us stay from the simple and humble life our lord wants for us.

[Monasticsx]

Rony, seems as if your going to be a pretty big figure in the church one day. God has big plans for u buddy!