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Every year the same: not celebrating Birthdays

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+Marmar+:
Hey all!

My birthday was 31 October. Every year I wish to celebrate it, and then I am trying to make some plans, but they always fail and i dont know why. I haven't celebrated my b-day for about 3 years or more!! And I am now.. {don't laugh} : 19 years. :(
It's always like this: too busy with school (this is my first year in college), my dad doesn't encourage me to plan it, nobody helps me to organisate it, money problems, not everyone has got time... it's every year the same. And I feel dissappointent when years of my life just pass away and I dont celebrate it with my friends or anyone. Yes, i got presents from some people, including my lovely dad and he get me a pie and we made a little birthday at home with my dad only. But presents are not the most important thing for me. I just want to celebrate it. All my friends get amazing birthday parties, and I never go to one of them and I don't even celebrate it for myself. Everyone is having fun expect me. I am feeling excluded. Especially i want to celebrate it, because this is a opportunity to having some fun. I haven't do anything fun, like re7laat, trips, shopping, going out with friends, for years!! And always it;s school, father, etc. *sigh*. (and today he said: mat3amaleha fi shahr mares / march, hatkoon el gaw a7la min kida!! / Celebrate it in march, it will be a better weather. That;s not the same feelings as celebrating it at your birhtday!) Maybe i am sad because I always used to get big birhtday parties in my childhood.

Further, he even withhold me to do anything spiritually whether he wants very much that i become the child of Jesus and I know he loves me a lot. But even going to youthmeethings is a big problem with him. Overprotection and he is very afraid that I won't pass if I didnt study enough. he is always saying: SHOW me first that you get good marks, then i will let u enjoy. But every time, i get good marks in the first term, then it isnt enough for him and then I get one bad mark and he refuses to let me go anywhere. Arghhhhhh!


I know that I must be happy with Jesus and that the most important thing is that i get better every year. But even that doesn't help. I'm not getting better (well, maybe in some points, but not spiritually) and I am repeating the same sins every year over and again.

Is it wrong that this whole issue annoys me? Am I being ungrateful? Actually I thank Jesus for everything he gave me, health, a home, a car, clothes, a carefull lovely dad, a lovely mother, a couple of good friends, an own big sleeping room, etc. But still I don't like the idea that every year I don't celebrate my b-day. This is awkward. Any advices?

El mohem, sallooly plz.

Thanks in advance and GB

peter_saad:
Hi MarMar,

I've always felt like that too, up until about 4 years ago. (I'm 19 now) My parents never really acknowledged my birthday, and I never really got gifts. You'll eventually grow out of it. But since you're in college now, your birthday is just going to be like any other day of the year. Someone actually had to remind me of my birthday this year! lol.

but in the long run, and you might not understand now, it's actually good for you because it teaches you to not whine about the small things in life. (I know it sounds harsh, but trust me) It only makes you stronger. My dad never really acknowledged my good grades or many accomplishments that I made throughout my life. That's just the Egyptian way. :p

And sorry to say, but the way the American culture raises their kids is ridiculous. They throw their kids a party for getting a B in a class.  It's just a little overkill, in my opinion.

Just know that this will make you stronger in the future.  You'll learn to become more independent and humble, and to not accept all the attention and praise that is given to you. Hope that helped. Pray for me.

peter_saad:
Also, think about the people in Egypt and all around the world.  They can't even find some bread to feed their kids. I'm sure celebrating birthdays is the last thing on their list.

We should be thanking God for giving us another year to live.  We should be happy and thankful, not whining about. Forigve me if I sound mean, but there are more important things in life to worry about other than not celebrating your birthday

Happy Thanksgiving, and may God open all our eyes to not take things for granted, and to think thank Him for everyday he has given us.

mabsoota:
sounds really tough.
like u r not really being acknowledged as someone with preferences and opinions.
this is especially hard when u r young and finding that u have separate opinions from yr relatives.
it is a normal phase u r going through, and without support from friends (eg. without them being interested in celebrating yr birthday) u can't stand up to yr dad by yrself and do yr own thing.

i would suggest that every time u can't do something u want, u make a mental note of what u would do. this way u start to form a clearer identity for yrself in yr head.
like i used to argue with my parents, and later other people about what to wear. and i would say to myself 'this person wants me to wear this smart thing but i would like to wear that long skirt and scruffy top. i am happy i am a scruffy person and when i feel scruffy, i can wear a smart suit comfortably coz i know i am scruffy inside!'

then pray to God and tell Him 'really, i would love to do this, but my dad (or whoever) is making me do that. please help me to do what he wants willingly and without feeling bitter, so that i may come closer to you through this suffering'.

may God give u peace and help u to pass through this difficult time.
yr sister who thinks u r really cool,
mabsoota  :)

George_Mina:

--- Quote from: peter_saad on November 24, 2011, 05:03:46 PM ---But since you're in college now, your birthday is just going to be like any other day of the year.

--- End quote ---

Definitely true. Growing old stinks  :'(

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