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Coptic Orthodox Church
Stopping an embarrassing sin
edited July 2014
I masturbate a little more than often for a 14 year old femal and I need help
Beloved, the best advice any of us can give is for you to share this with your Father of Confession because he can give you something we cannot; Confession & Absolution. This medicine for the soul, along with participation in the Holy Communion is very very important.
Beyond that, our spiritual life is a journey that unfolds in steps just like our natural life.
Not knowing you, we may suggest something that is good for us and not for you
; it's always better to crawl than try to run if that's all we can handle.
Your Spiritual Father will know your heart and guide you according to what you can bear.
We'll be praying for you!
edited July 2014
Your problem is very common among younger people for both genders. Everyone has a sin that they are tempted to do, but it's always a choice whether we do it or not. That specific sin can be very addicting though, I can understand that, but in the end its all about the will. You have to fight it now. If you have bad thoughts, cut it out immediately - don't wait for the pleasure to come. You cant cut any slack when it comes to this sin (any sin, really), but to cut it off you have to be absolutely firm with yourself. If you're reading a book with these types of scenes that make you think about it, shut the book now, don't read one page ahead. If you're going on youtube to watch things that provokes this pleasure, block those sites. It all comes back to how well you can discipline yourself. Take your mind off these bad thoughts. It's not supposed to be an option.
I can see that you want to stop this sin, of course you do because you feel guilty - the holy spirit does that to us, but it's not enough to want to stop it. You have to do it now. I see a trend to people who post their problems here on Tasbeha, and the types of replies we receive. One thing is common among all personal threads: go and act. Just do it. Start changing yourself now, start praying about it, start reading the bible and seeking answers. Start pushing yourself to do right and don't let yourself fall away. I'm the last person on earth to say anything and everyone here is a witness to that, but there's one thing you must keep in mind. It all goes back to your will. Its your choice if you want to do it or not. If you want to continue, then you can, he wont stop you, but you'll always feel like you're missing something inside. Sometimes we say we want to stop a certain sin like lying or anything else but we don't do it. It's because we don't really want to stop. If you want to stop, then try your very hardest to stay away from everything related to that sin. Don't tolerate it.
Then again, we can never be perfect. No one is without sin, but that doesn't give us the excuse to keep doing what we're doing. On the contrary, it's supposed to encourage us to keep trying to come closer to God's perfection. It's supposed to encourage us to come closer to God so he can help us rise everytime we fall. It's supposed to have us plead for his help and mercy and understand that we're human and we can never do anything without him. To have our wills submitted to him means that I can always rely on God to rise me up everytime I fall. But I have to want it. I have to stop it with my heart before I stop it with my actions. Because if I stop it with my actions before my heart, I'll fail everytime.
Coptic Strength couldn't have said it any better!
I just wanted to add that it is by involving God in our life more that we are able to overcome our sins. It is not enough to just stop it on your own as mentioned before (because we are too weak on our own) but you must get grace from God through prayer, bible reading/acting, fasting, spiritual books, ect...
It is possible to overcome the sin only When God is more involved in your life.
May the Lord of glory grant you grace and strength!
Try hard to keep yourself busy, if you put something in front of you and keep saying "can't have it, can't have it!", well, you're going to cave in and have it! I like to use the analogy of if you're fasting, and it's 3 pm and there's a Big Mac on the table. If you sit there staring at it waiting for midnight, you're not going to last.
Instead, it's good to keep yourself positively occupied and not stare at the Big Mac because it's not going to help you. If you can keep yourself often engaged in activities - both spiritual activity as well as normal healthy social activity, it might help reduce the frequency and urge for this sin, as well as help loosen its grip on you.
May the Lord grant you grace, sister! Don't waste time assessing, just fight the good fight!
Pray for me,