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Emotions
  • I lie awake most nights, just thinking about my life
    I wonder what's my purpose and why i'm still here tonight
    my life's so hard to get through
    I just don't understand why
    people all seem to hate me although i really try
    I have many demons to fight, many things keep me up at night
    sometimes i wish i could just end it all, it's just to much to bare
    society is so nasty, people aren't that nice
    I'm bullied when I make a stance and even when I don't
    It's everyone around me, sometimes there's no escape
    I feel like i'm a little child who's trying not to cry
    I need my God to strengthen me - but where is He?
    It hurts so much when the lashes just keep coming
    there's no one there to rely on, or to keep me going
    I've tried to hide it for so long, to smile and get through
    but trying isn't working now, I'm really done, I'm through
    Where is my God, my church or friends - they're no where to be seen
    if only God could help me now, reach out and pull me up
    I'm drowning in my sorrows, I'm losing this struggle fast
    my eyes are swelling up as i try to fight the tears
    Please help me, save me, love me - is that too much to ask?
    The hurt is just to much for me, it's bare, it cuts, it's real.
  • The Lord never sleeps, He keeps thinking of you
    He knows your purpose, He has a plan for you
    He's carrying you through the rough time and you do not know
    There's no need to question
    His love is undeniable and unending
    The Lord is your keeper, He is your armor
    Find comfort in Him that is your escape
    He is your father, He is there for all your needs
    Your strength is perfected in weakness He tells you in Second Corinthians Twelve
    Each lash that puts me to the ground is another chance to rise
    To rise with Christ and truly taste His resurrection
    A resurrection from pain and struggle ending with true joy and happiness
    Truly He is right there with you in that struggle
    Extending His hand for you to hold on to and rise
    Fear not from the struggle instead cry out with David Saying:
    "Though an army should encamp against me, though war may rise against me
    My heart shall not fear,  in this I will be confident,
    For in the time of trouble, He shall hide me in His pavillon,
    He shall hide me; He shall set me high upon a rock."


  • +

    Dear SharetheLord,

    What a beautiful beautiful response, thank you for that.

    Dear Depressed,

    Sometimes life is hard, and it sucks. Sometimes it's partially our fault, sometimes it's really by no fault of our own, and others a combination of both.  People were created to live in community. We are supposed to be the Light of the world and Salt of the earth. We are supposed to act like God one toward another, which is why our Lord gave the example of people standing in judgment who said "We did such and such in your name etc..." and He says, "I don't know you. You never comforted me, clothed me, helped me out...you never had my back". 

    There is a comfort that will come from God through your deep personal connection with Him - particularly through consistency in reading the Bible and opening up your heart in real prayer (I don't mean just rapid fire random psalms or words).

    Personally, when things suck, I find the psalms that match my mood and make them about me. Out of the depths am I crying, Lord --- hear me! If you go through the psalm, King David is saying the same as your poem. He's saying, Lord, where are you? Why am I feeling like this?! Are you listening? Will you please hear me?! I use it to get me into prayer and then open up my heart some more. But I also try in those prayers to listen to Him as well, and not only to rant (rant but then calm down and listen). Coupling this with the Bible may help you find some solace as well, but I emphasise again that this needs to be consistent.

    Another type of comfort is supposed to come from humans. So it's good that you reached out here, and I hope that you reached out to your local friends and pals as well. We're supposed to offer a listening ear in love, we should help each other get through slumps, occupy each other, take each other out, laugh when appropriate, be serious when appropriate, rebuke when appropriate...this is why the commandment is love of God and love of neighbour

    Reach out not just to God, but also to your friends, family and community.

    I pray that the cause of your sadness is not some kind of guilt or doubt in His love for you, or any thing you may have messed up in, because if it's any of the above, I hope that you realise that He loves you no matter what.

    Keep trucking!

    pray for me,
    ap


Memorial for HH Pope Shenouda

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