I have always had the problem but its even worse I don't know if its because I am interested in religion more or because I want to have friends and help save people. I don't read the news. I can't even read the bible for long lest I dwell on it and bible bash people. I take an antidepressant but I am still stuck.
I feel like relieving my pain somehow.
I sometimes get movies but do not watch them. I really want to study hard and be a high achiever for once in my life. But I have lost interest in worldly things because of religion. But I know it is God's will to be successful in life. And this can glorify God. This is what honors my father. He is not too much into religion. Also religion is dull if there is nothing else to enjoy in life. I feel depression is the result of watching movies and seeking entertainment and pleasure. It kills brain chemicals. Rather watching movies to be more religious. Its an addiction to pleasure and lack of focus.But I can't stop myself from wanting to save others who may live holy lives because of me.
Maybe I have dysthmia
Because I can not handle the thought that I may not be saved and I have to please the church to be saved
Edit: I can't blame religion on this problem God says first to seek first the kingdom and the righteousness and there needs to be labourers
The only reason I would bible bash as I don't want to read it for myself and do it alone sometimes