I am really suffering from loneliness. It is extremely painful. Occasionally there are people that I am able to socialise with - mostly from church - but I don't feel that I am particularly close to anyone.
I may have high expectations of the definition of a "friend". But I truly feel that the people around me can't understand me. I am also worried that I am too self absorbed and that's the reason why I fail to see anything good around me.
I have been suffering from depression on and off for a while. I chose not to take medication because I wanted to avoid being dependant on drugs. I have tried counselling and cognitive behaviour therapy. The counselling was not helpful at all. The CBT was slightly helpful but not massively.
However, I am very good at putting on a "happy" face and people that I have told about my low mood said they could not tell at all at first, and only when we are discussing deep matters is when my pessimistic opinions show through, so I don't think my low mood is the main reason I can't connect with people.
How common is my experience amongst you guys? Anybody feels the same?