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Please pray for me
  • Please pray for me my elder brothers and sisters. My life completely turn around. i never expecting it this way. I know God have his own plan. However,  i become so fearful and weaker every day. i feel i isolated from church and God.

    And i wish if i get  advise from a priest or someone from church.

    thank you 
  • My Dear Arsema,

    I am not a priest, sorry. I only can to pray for you to God.

    I dont know, you personal, but God is always a Loved Father. Sometimes, The Lord teach by disease and suffering, we can not to learn otherwise. The disease and suffering, is not a goal for our God, but a instruction (teaching).

    Sometimes, when we are learned enough, (from that teaching), and be cured (mind and soul), also be cured for our disease body (others not).

    Pray to God with confidence and faith, to be cured, not only of you body (if is it), but also of you mind (for God is the most important the soul and mind).

    We all are beleavers, people for the Eternity. And Lord said to his apostles: "you would be glad that I am going to the Father" St. John 14: 28 because in heaven are our home with Lord and our most loved ones.

    Be calm and pray to God. I'll do the same for you.

    Pulpito.
  • you have chosen the name of a great ethiopian saint!
    may her intercessions be with you and may God bless you.

    try to go to church, and if you are distracted by people around you, then sit with people you don't know (who won't be chatting to you in the liturgy) and ask God for guidance about your problem while you are in church.

    it is usually best to speak to someone who knows you personally, like a priest or sunday school teacher or a wiser person at church (someone who is known for kind and loving advice and who is humble). this is usually better than taking advice from someone here who does not know you.
    may God give u peace.
  • Dear Arsema.

    I hope you speak, to someone who knows you personally!  is it the best choice always, but if you cannot, (as I always happend with me), it is good, seek help from others (as you have now).

    For me, to help you is a delight, and you can always, seek help to me (or rather, also either). In my Church (Catholic Roman), always say, we should help each other. I assume, this is the same, for all Christian Churches all over the world, because the Lord said:

    "As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35

    So feel free to seek help from me or others. As for me, to help (as everybody doing in this post), it is a great please and delight to help you (if I can), but If I know you personally could help you better. So go to a priest to know you better (as mabsoota said)!

    what I said before, is entirely true! : most diseases of the body and soul, are exam to teach God, and to show us, we can not learn otherwise. I've seen many times in my diseases friends! God has no pleasure in the pain and death:

    "Do I take any pleasure in the death of the wicked? declares the Sovereign Lord. Rather, am I not pleased when they turn from their ways and live?" Ezekiel 18:23

    Most of psychiatric centers, and others suffering peoples, (and the same sin!), are always disorder of us Souls!

    If you can speak to a priest or other wisdom and humble person at Church, better. Otherwise, Feel free to ask questions or ask for help to me or to other. Is it a Delight and
    not any effort for me, on the contrary, help me a lot! because I feel, more Christian helping you!

    Thanks!

    In The Loved of Christ

    Pulpito.



  • Thank you Dear Pulpito and Mabsoota for keeping me in your prayer and for your advice. i am not sick or anything but  i was in Domestic violence situation by my own husband. i tried to fix things with elder brothers and fathers or priests but it didn't work. May be Mabsoota will remember me ....because u gave me your advice once. so for three years i have been threatening by him. now we separated.....because i don't want to die. i got protection order and he still not finish with court. i feel sorry for him but after this there is no anything i can do. But there is people who push me to drop the case and leave it for God after that and live with him. But i didn't agree to that b/c i did everything to save these marriage, as i said it become worse not better. I know God keep me safe but not by giving these person another chance to kill me. Is that right? Ya so i had to keep away my self from my community and those people. God knows how hard i struggle to live with this person but he completely become so violent, torture and abuser.  My life become so miserable  i am so damaged inside out. i have nothing left ; he crushed me so bad. these is what i have been through in short statement. So my dear brothers and sisters keep remember me in your prayer and please suggest me who to talk to get advice to go forward in my life with God.

    May God Bless you all
  • Dear Arsema21

    I pray to you every day to God.

    I thanks to this forum, (and to you), make me the oportunity to speak and console to you.

    You know, that the violence, never is correct and just. Never!

    The justice (even in human societies), always go with the mercy (because if not), never is justice.

    But never is justice (nor mercy), a situation of violence (like you).

    If (in case) you (were) some injustice (with you husband), his never can to make violence with you. The violence never is justifiy.

    In a society where the violence is only the way to pay offenses, this society turn to be a society damaged with the some violence they used.


    Many discussions and misunderstandings, come from not talk. And not talk come form a beginning of "fear" on marriage.

    To Speak (to talk), is as important as breathing!, (but now, with violence, none of yours can talk). I do not advice you, if you afraid you murdered.


    Not only (in a marriage), is important the carnal relationship. In the moderns societies, they considered the most important, but they are wrong. Man and women (man and wife), are spiritual (like his Creator, God). Some marriage fail, for consider carnal relationship as the most important.


    All of humans are sinners. Besides sinners, we also were wrong, in many daly human things. Bad intention, and bad modus operandi. With both, goes to not understand (one to another), and not to forgive (at all).


    The love on a marriage not only is in the start of a marriage (but all the time).


    Many people think that no solution. But, (because) the solution, sometimes is in an unpleasant manner, (as to long time waiting), or others unpleasant manners.


    I cannot to say a solution (only God knows the solution). I say in this message, some things to be considered (some of them obvious), others not.

    The most important is to prove, the love. The love is prove for many ways. The way most
    rich and deliciolus to prove the love, is prove you're a person who can feel, love, and suffer, I mean: you are a personal being!

    happiness, more than possess, is to be being:

    You are being crying,  being laugh, and being loved as a person, (not as a object).

    I dont know, in what country you live (what society). I dont know if you husband is christian or muslim or other. So apology if I advice you some wrong. Sorry.

    God love to all of us, (but we, sometimes not recognize God love us).

    Some Spiritual persons, say, "If you are doubt God's Love", is because you Love him, and God Love you (because if not, you will be indifferent if God love to you or not).

    I tried to console.

    Dear Arsema21, you are not alone. You have the Love of God, but also, you have my love.

    Of Course, I am here, and you are there, but this doesn't matter: Also you have many people around you. They are better or worse persons, but they also can help you a little.

    May be God is teaching you with this special situation of you live. God is jealous of His creatures, and the loves for himself. May be this special situation of you, is a call to love to God more intimate.

    If you feeling alone, thinks in God, and the beautifuly things his gave, such as existence.

    Existence, why?, for what?

    To live with him on the Eternity, (and here), with some family and friends you love.

    Only the true love, is the reason of the existence, and the reason to live. Rest of all are useless.

    God be with you. In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. One God. Amen.





  • i think separation is usually the best way forward because that way you are not divorced yet, you have time to decide what to do while you stay alive and think about it.
    well done for choosing this.
    i will also send you personal message.
    may God guide u and bless u.
  • [quote author=Arsema21 link=topic=14453.msg165293#msg165293 date=1372575806]
    Thank you Dear Pulpito and Mabsoota for keeping me in your prayer and for your advice. i am not sick or anything but  i was in Domestic violence situation by my own husband. i tried to fix things with elder brothers and fathers or priests but it didn't work. May be Mabsoota will remember me ....because u gave me your advice once. so for three years i have been threatening by him. now we separated.....because i don't want to die. i got protection order and he still not finish with court. i feel sorry for him but after this there is no anything i can do. But there is people who push me to drop the case and leave it for God after that and live with him. But i didn't agree to that b/c i did everything to save these marriage, as i said it become worse not better. I know God keep me safe but not by giving these person another chance to kill me. Is that right? Ya so i had to keep away my self from my community and those people. God knows how hard i struggle to live with this person but he completely become so violent, torture and abuser.  My life become so miserable  i am so damaged inside out. i have nothing left ; he crushed me so bad. these is what i have been through in short statement. So my dear brothers and sisters keep remember me in your prayer and please suggest me who to talk to get advice to go forward in my life with God.

    May God Bless you all


    Dearest Arsema21,

    You've gotten some prayers, heartfelt sympathy and advice, but no help from God's Word regarding this tactic of Satan since the beginning. Now the serpent was more subtle than any other wild creature that the Lord God had made. He said to the woman. ... . (until today, when he is speaking to each of us). Genesis 3:1. Soon after, God more clearly defined Eve's and women's nature, and role in marriage. You desire to rule your husband, but he is to rule over you. Genesis 3:16b. Satan is ruler of the World, and his modern subjects and institutions have renewed their battle against this fundamental truth of created human nature and God's judgment for its management. All the World's (and Orthodoxy's) feminists, freudians, self-proclaimed "christian" churches, and ecumenists for their "unity" have now called for battle against this simple, clear principle, which has produced generally livable and productive marriages throughout all human societies (especially Orthodox Christianity) since their beginnings, except the last Godless democratic century. Satan acknowledged, at the beginning, that equality, without order, inevitably causes irresolvable conflict, such as your marriage. Propagandized modern society, Copts and Coptic Bishops will join you in their desire to rule over your God chosen (not necessarily Godly) husband. Since Pope Kyrillos, this truth has not been taught to men, women or children in the Coptic Church. You will have to learn it yourself from God's Holy Bible, from the Holy Orthodox Fathers, from the Coptic Marriage Liturgy, or from faithful older Coptic Bishops, priests, men, women and spiritual books on marriage.

    The Katholikon and Praxis readings from today's (28 Paoni, 1729 [AM]; 5 July [AD]) Coptic Liturgy, remembering Pope Theodosius, who was exiled and replaced by the Chalcedonians because he denied their beliefs, should be helpful to you and all modern aspirants to the true Orthodox Faith of our fathers.

    Today’s Katholikon reading is the universal message of St. Peter, the Christ chosen leader (ruler) of the Apostles, to all Christian families:

    1 Peter 2:18-3:7
    New King James Version (NKJV)
    Submission to Masters
    18 Servants, be submissive to your masters with all fear, not only to the good and gentle, but also to the harsh. 19 For this is commendable, if because of conscience toward God one endures grief, suffering wrongfully. 20 For what credit is it if, when you are beaten for your faults, you take it patiently? But when you do good and suffer, if you take it patiently, this is commendable before God. 21 For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps:
    22
    “Who committed no sin,
    Nor was deceit found in His mouth”;
    23 who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously; 24 who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness—by whose stripes you were healed. 25 For you were like sheep going astray, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.
    Submission to Husbands
    3 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. 3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— 4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.
    A Word to Husbands
    7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

    Today’s Praxis reading contains St. Paul’s counsel to the beloved Ephesians at his last visit with them, Acts 20:17-38. This passage contains St. Paul’s vital warning to the Ephesians in that time and seems to be even more vital to true Orthodox believers and their families today, including you and me.

    I know that after my departure fierce wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock; and from among your own selves will arise men speaking perverse things, to draw away the disciples after them. Acts 20:29, Revised Standard Version.

    I pray that you will try to find a way to be the type of obedient, submissive wife that God, St.Peter and St. Paul defined and that has been proven to be successful throughout human, Jewish and Christian history, except the last century when Satan’s same old false promises have deceived millions of “modern women” to renew the rebellion of Eve. May God give mercy to their own pathetic children victims. Tell your husband that this is your final decision, forever. Tell us, and your bishop, the results.
     
  • IP get a heart. Stop taking your personal issues and making them into everyone else's business. This woman was abused by her husband. Abused by the husband who is sworn to protect her as Christ protected His church. To the point of death. If her husband abuses her, he is not fulfiling that which God Himself requires of Him as a husband, this woman has no need for your condescending comments.

    Arsema,

    May the Lord Christ heal your wounds, i will pray for your husband that he may learn to pursue his Christ-like duty of being a shelter, fortress, and protector for you. Perhaps temporary separation may be best and I pray your bishop or your priests know how to advice you and protect you from your husband. May the Lord bring us all to repentance.
  • Thank you for your advice and comment my elder brothers and sisters;

    I wish my marriage was survive but sadly it didn't. I did everything; even i go beyond my limit. the more i tried to fix the more he become abusive. i become so stressed out; i used to go to Hospital because of it. i tried to pray every day, listen to preaching, reading bible, hymns, ....etc. I know God gave me strength even to fight with this situation , however he became so complicated person. So i become so depressed and i cried all the time. Even i couldn't take care of my child in this reason. She frequently sick and i am who grieved from it. Why i had to suffer like this? Why my little daughter live with this kind hurtful situation? Is this God's will? I don't think so!

    One thing is after he came to US he completely changed and he didn't want to stay in marriage he used to asked me so many times to get divorce; but he wanted to do it "SECRETLY". Because he knows everybody will point his finger on him. His fear was what people gone say about him but not God.

      Off course,  there are a lots of people who gets married with US citizen but  when they come to here they dump their wife and husbands after they get their green card. A lots of people become hurt in such a thing. However my case was little bit different. He is a servant in church (Deacon) and we got married in church ceremony (Holy Marriage). Everybody knows that; i mean in our church. So that is what he wanted to do it secretly but i said no.

    i told for priests, to our  confession father and church elder fathers, and  we got advises and church teaching  but nothing changed instead he even more  endured me , harassed me, threatened me, tried to kill me.

    So my elders as i told you at the end we separated by the police other wise believe me i wont be alive till this day. So i am glad i did that . I am okay know but  I become so fearful person. i am afraid that i become far from God and i feel lonely . My fathers, sisters, brothers ask me to reunite in church and serve like before. In opposite side there are priests, elder brothers and sisters ask me to do something for him, be a patient give him another chance, even to lie and witness as if he didn't done anything bad on me when he appear at he trial. Now this circumstance makes me away from church. Because i don't want be in abusive situation again ; to be killed. 

    So at least i have a peace of mind this time but still i need a guidance how to go forward in my life and attached with God.

    i hope you understand my writing because i am terrible in my grammar. Sorry about that! 

    Thank you again all of you for keeping me in your prayer and gave me a worthful advises.
    +++



  • dear sister, please keep going to church. i know it is hard when you feel people are looking at you, but maybe you can go to early morning liturgy during the week or on saturday when there are less people.
    anyone who judges you needs to judge their own life first - only if i have a perfect life (and i don't), then i can comment on yours. it is very normal to move out of an abusive relationship, and only someone who really understands your situation should comment.

    be sure to take your child / children to church to take Holy Communion and to hear the words of the Holy Bible. pray from agpeya at home.
    i know it is really hard, but keep talking to God and showing your child / children the right way, and God will guide you.
    i pray for you, sister.


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