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My weakness
Hello everyone, I'm new here and as I may not be Coptic I'm reading on it and converting one day beause of marriage - so I figure get into it now :)
Anyway, I have this one naggingly annoying habit.
It all started over a year and some odd months ago, just around the time of my mom's death. Ever since my mom died I have been getting very nervous and anxious. Basically, because I fear of losing the people I love more now than ever before.
This is how it is: I will know that my fiance is doing something else, but some nagging, worryful thoughts at the back of my mind will play with my emotions and my logic. I will think "Well, he is driving home ... " but then the evil little voices will come at me "Well, what if he crashed, or got stabbed, or some freak accident happened?" I find myself worrying over nothing I even do it with my sister and my dad. So, for him this will result in many many missed worried calls and texts and my embarassment of over reacting once again.
I even called 10 times to try to reach my dad when he was in the washroom ... when I thought some horrible thing had happened to him :(
I mostly want to know if this is happening to anyone else (because it sure hasn't happened to my dad or my sister - they have their own way of grief over my mom). I feel it's mostly because knowing that my dad is at home alone most of the time now, and having finally found that person I love and want to be with, well ... I really don't want anything to happen like that to me and what I could have for my life.
This is starting to take over my life and my way of thinking. And honestly, starting to make me feel a little ridiculous ...
I am weak, please help me God ...
Any opinions of what to be done??
Anyway, I have this one naggingly annoying habit.
It all started over a year and some odd months ago, just around the time of my mom's death. Ever since my mom died I have been getting very nervous and anxious. Basically, because I fear of losing the people I love more now than ever before.
This is how it is: I will know that my fiance is doing something else, but some nagging, worryful thoughts at the back of my mind will play with my emotions and my logic. I will think "Well, he is driving home ... " but then the evil little voices will come at me "Well, what if he crashed, or got stabbed, or some freak accident happened?" I find myself worrying over nothing I even do it with my sister and my dad. So, for him this will result in many many missed worried calls and texts and my embarassment of over reacting once again.
I even called 10 times to try to reach my dad when he was in the washroom ... when I thought some horrible thing had happened to him :(
I mostly want to know if this is happening to anyone else (because it sure hasn't happened to my dad or my sister - they have their own way of grief over my mom). I feel it's mostly because knowing that my dad is at home alone most of the time now, and having finally found that person I love and want to be with, well ... I really don't want anything to happen like that to me and what I could have for my life.
This is starting to take over my life and my way of thinking. And honestly, starting to make me feel a little ridiculous ...
I am weak, please help me God ...
Any opinions of what to be done??
Comments
I'm sorry for the loss of your dear mother Phanessa. I have lost my mother and father as well. My thinking of your situation is that your mother was always there and now she is gone. So you look for reassurance that others won't leave you as well. I've lost all and I prayed to God to look after my mom, after her soul and awhile after I saw her as I was waking. She wasn't the old women she was, but young and she talked to me and knew me. I was shocked. I am reassured of not only her but God as well, so even when I have doubt I go back to this event when everything tells me different. We believe in the resurrection which means even death has less truth than life through Christ.
I can only suggest you pray to God for the protection of the ones you love. It is about trust, so ringing them all the time is a short term solution, so is weaker. While praying maybe harder, but it becomes a long term solution everytime you see them. So trust God. Many tragic things happen and will happen all the time but it's not the life we look for. It is like birth pains but then the joy of birth.
Life is like that, but trust God is looking after your mom and I pray all your family one day when their time comes.
So trust that God is with every single person, including you and the ones you love. I'm sure you've heard of those stories in which a person was in a crucial, critical near-death situtation and he or she ended up surviving. My sister, for example, got into a terrible car accident. She was hit at an intersection and multiple cars were involved. The car even got totaled..which means it was too destroyed to even bother fixing. but guess what? She came out without even a scratch. Were the other car to hit her a few seconds earlier, the people in the back seat would have died.
So, there's really no way around God's will. Worrying will not even add one cubit to your stature. So, why bother? Just enjoy the time you have with your loved ones now.
"Trust the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding" Proverbs 5:6
Anyway, I eventually did learn to stop worrying less. I'm not much of a person to pray, rather than, just as you said, have faith that things will turn out okay. Which as I learned they do. My mom was a worry wort also ::) so ... learned trait also perhaps? I now worry and stress less, I guess maybe it was a coping mechanism of some sort - since I don't show it any other way.
At least he was understanding enough ... about my worries and problems :) but, I have learned to cope and not stress as much. Since I don't do that anymore!! :D
-- Thank you for your opinions!! :D and advice!!