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This is how I feel
  • Some people's lives were set for happiness from the start. It doesn't matter if others eventually become better later on, because their best years are long gone, their childhood memories are better forgotten, their youth has faded. so WORK HARDER and YOU’LL STILL BE (less) HAPPIER.


    I also know this sounds unreasonable

    Was just reading the thread about "knowing yourself" and I think I unfortunately know what I am. I fear I will never be happy and it is not just a thought, I see I have been unhappy for as long as I can remember. Apologies if I am sounding too psychological here
  • If your life is a search for happiness, it will end up in misery.
  • wow, your aim is to remain unhappy? actually you're not the only one. I do have a member of my family who treated life as a war, an obstacle. They are old now and have never been happy, actually suffered constantly.

    Unless there are angels replying to this thread, I'm sure every person has needs and wants and at least deep down they want to be happy.

    I thought God wanted us to be happy?
  • The question is, what is happiness? Happiness in the worldly sense is worthless, if you seek that you will only end up with a handful of despair and agony.
  • I think Ioannes is right. So it depends on the happiness your looking for. I also think that the happiness that you shounld be looking for is contentment. That way what ever you recieve: no matter how big or small it is, you would be thankfull. If you are then in the position of being humble then you will see it's true value.  God's blessings can come in even the smallest of things and can be seen to be beutiful and in the order of what is happening in our lives.
  • Worldly happiness is an illusion, its like a drug, its never enough. When Henry Ford made his first million he was asked, what do you want now? He said, "I want another million." This is the worldly mentality, too much is never enough. Happiness in a spiritual light is very different.
  • There are people who have all sorts of problems yet are happy.
    Others have nearly no problems yet are not happy.

    Would you believe that to be possible?
  • i wanted to die when an old lady in my parents' church told me (as a small child) 'school days are the happiest days of your life'. the poor old lady had no idea what bullying i was experiencing and how i was just waiting for the great day when i grew up and left school!
    but my life did get much better after i left school, and then it got better as i left home too.
    it got better again after i became orthodox. so for me, although life has been hard sometimes, it keeps getting better. that's why i am 'mabsoota'
    ;)
    i think the key is to accept the suffering in your life and not fight it all the time. about 4 years ago i was really struggling with a terrible bully boss at work and other more personal problems and one night i was sat on my bed, alone, crying and telling God 'i can't take any more'.
    then i remembered how His ways are higher than ours (isaiah 55) and how all things work together for our good (our spiritual growth, our heavenly reward).

    so i started to pray differently, and told God 'ok if You think i can take more stress then that's ok with me, i will accept it'.
    after that i felt real peace from God and was able to accept the troubles (boss trying to make me unemployed etc.) it was several months before i left that work place and went somewhere better, but in that time God gave me the peace i needed.

    i also visited my family doctor who gave me some very valuable advice and insights.
    so i advise anyone in this situation to talk to your priest and your doctor.
    and keep talking to God. no one is 'destined' to be unhappy.
    being close to God and bravely facing your problems brings true contentment.
    think about baba shenouda, he had such a heavy burden to carry and so much work to do despite his sickness, but he still had moments of peace and joy in the middle of so much trouble. this is true happiness.
  • Thank you for sharing that Mabsoota, very touching.
  • Striving for happiness is striving for the pleasures of the world, which is what we as Orthodox Christians, do not want. In order to be granted true happiness from the Lord, we must endure the tests here for us on Earth. The Lord never said it would be easy to live as a Christian on this Earth; in fact he said it would be a struggle. Carry your cross with pride and joy and know that you will be granted the gifts that you can't even fathom in the end.
    GOD BLESS! Pray for me.
  • For I know the plans I think towards you says the Lord plans to give you a hope and a future and an expected end

    All things work together for good for those who love God

    A time for everything under the sun
    Ecclesiastes

    And seen the end that was intended by the Lord that He is very merciful and compassionate

    No Christian will have good times forever
    But after every dark night joy comes in the morning

    Like Job God has ordained prosperity and sorrow each in their own appointed time

    But I heard in a tv show
    Happiness is something you have to work hard to find
    it's like finding balance in life you must never give up
    Did not God say seek first the kingdom of God and all these things will be given to you


    I had been depressed for a very long time and suffer until now a blank mind
    Possibly a thorn in the flesh to teach me to read the bible and pray more so u can see it is God which gives me happiness and it does not come independent from His guidance for the verse says trust in the Lord with all your heart and in all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths

    And may He give you your hearts desires  and fulfill all your petitions
    We will be glad in your salvation


    The psalm says bless the Lord o my soul who heals all your diseases


    The Lord does not want to see us suffer
    It is said God will withdraw no good thing from those who walk uprightly
    But He still wants our heart above all and will do anything to get it

    Beloved I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health even as your soul prospers
  • Well in order to achieve Happiness you have to determine what is happiness for you. If you're struggling to get wordly products then you'll have to fight till the end of your life since they are never enough and always get to an end. Believe me, trying to be satisfied with anything God's gives you in life gets a step closer to REAL Happiness. If you stop thinking about how people are getting happy or what they possess so they are happy, you would focus more on what you have been given by God. happiness is not meant to be counted with possessions but with smiles and high spirituality.
    Learn to value what you have got.

    Happiness is a fruit of the fruits the Holy Spirit gives to us.
  • When our reposed father HH Pope Shenouda was asked about where he is happy. He said, I am always happy. Happiness is an internal thing and nothing external whether it be location or circumstances can influence the state of happiness in my heart. He also made a comment about how happiness is determined by ones spiritual state and how close they are to God.
    - What he said really hit home because the same exact thing whether it be positive or negative can happen to two different people but one will accept the situation and internalize it in a positive and joyful manner and the other will internalize it in a negative and pessimistic manner.

    I hope that makes some sense?

    When I find the video, I will post the link. I am sorry, I am not finding it at the moment
  • Sorry to be insulting but if you think it is evil to have worldly things then God willing when we go to heaven I say you can forget about having any riches in heaven also
    but you must continue to show your love to God by suffering for Him for all eternity with no reward what so ever
  • [quote author=mikeforjesus link=topic=13117.msg154221#msg154221 date=1333578116]
    Sorry to be insulting but if you think it is evil to have worldly things then God willing when we go to heaven I say you can forget about having any riches in heaven also
    but you must continue to show your love to God by suffering for Him for all eternity with no reward what so ever


    Can you explain this better? I am not sure I understand what you are saying.

  • Jesus came that we may have abundant life here or at least in the age to come
    Jesus said seek first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added to you for God knows you need these things which proves God wants us to be happy
    From the post I made above it shows that God wants us to be happy but does not want those things to turn us away from Him and working out our salvation
    But perhaps most people will be caught up with desires for other things choking the word and then being unfruitful myself included

    Yes it is true that God wants us to love Him with all our heart but He knows like new wine in old skins we can break and He allows worldly pleasures when you are tired from hard work

    Because it is not that we love God but that He loved us


    Also to prove He wants us to be happy
    He made six days for work  and He said my yoke is easy and my burden is light
    And He said make friends with unrighteousness mammon

    We must make use of worldly things to serve God perhaps
    The parable of the talents is very important to show that we are to trade and be worldly people
  • Anybody on this forum who is preaching that 'we shouldn't look for happiness' etc etc definitely does not understand what it is like to feel depressed or suicidal.

    Please stop trying to give people these 'religious' ideas of harsh life and lots of rules when everyone is looking for pleasure in their lives, everyone. I could do without the hypocritical comments. Also I am sure this is not a good representation of Christianity, making it sound like a cult?

    I am a person and I live in real life. I am not a monk/nun, I don't live in the desert and I have to deal with everyday life. So if there are people who still think happiness is wrong then you should not be on the internet, you are wasting time, shouldn't you be praying all day and waiting for eternal life?
  • Happiness is not wrong, and when we have times of happiness they are a gift from God. But it is a mistake to make happiness the object of our life. The object of our life is to seek God, and this is often difficult, full of trials and obstacles, but entirely worth the effort.

    Not seeking happiness is not the same as being miserable. But it means that we don't make the object of our lives something that we have, in any case, no control over at all.

    If a person is depressed or suicidal then they need help. But that which God offers those who seek him is beyond all merely human happiness and is a lasting peace and joy.
  • [quote author=Father Peter link=topic=13117.msg154470#msg154470 date=1334086859]
    Happiness is not wrong, and when we have times of happiness they are a gift from God. But it is a mistake to make happiness the object of our life. The object of our life is to seek God, and this is often difficult, full of trials and obstacles, but entirely worth the effort.

    Not seeking happiness is not the same as being miserable. But it means that we don't make the object of our lives something that we have, in any case, no control over at all.

    If a person is depressed or suicidal then they need help. But that which God offers those who seek him is beyond all merely human happiness and is a lasting peace and joy.


    I think Fr. Peter brought up a good point. Happiness is a temporary feeling or emotion, but joy comes from God and is eternal. "Therefore you now have sorrow; but I will see you again and your heart will rejoice, and your joy no one will take from you." John 16:22
  • I haven't specified what 'type' of happiness/joy I was after. I guess I am quite confused as to what I am looking for?

    (The previous comment about suicide was an exaggeration)

    I am a very pessimistic person naturally, so I am always thinking of the worst in any situation, never mind how irrational it might sound. So I don't know how to feel, how to approach life? So I must have had temporary, moments of happiness in my life, but even during these brief moments, I still felt unsatisfied somehow.

    I know there is a 'thankful' feeling, but this is not what I am referring to.

    For those of you who figured out life / feel happy: How does it feel? How did you achieve this?
  • Christ is the life. (John 14:6)

    A true life, a complete life, is lived in Christ.

    Yet, Christ says, 'In this world you will have tribulation'. Within tribulation, can we truly be happy? I think it's quite inconceivable (personal opinion). Yet, I would very strongly argue, you can be joyful. For 'be of good cheer, I have overcome the world', He says. No matter what we are facing, without Christ, I cannot feel or live in Joy. For without Christ, we cannot overcome the world and it's tribulation. With Christ however, I remain unshaken through tribulation. Yet, knowledge and life with Christ is without ends, without boundary. There is so much to learn, that day by day, if I live with Him, pray to Him, enjoy Him, I find out that there is more and more joy to be found.

    I pray that we keep our eyes focus on Christ, enjoy this Joyful period of Resurrection. I pray that we may rise together and grow more and more in Christ and that we all pray for each other to partake of the Resurrection and the fullness of joy which is only found in Christ.
  • You are not a pessimistic person by nature. You probably just have allowed things to bring you down. Its ok, it happens to all of us. Endure.
  • Being happy is choice. It is either you choose to be happy or you don't. Even how grave circumstances are, some people rummage all their will power to stay happy. It does not concern any stage in our life where being happy is  a kind of growing stage. It isn't like what you think. :)


Memorial for HH Pope Shenouda

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