Did I do something wrong maybe?

edited September 2008 in Personal Issues
I want to delete this
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Comments

  • Okay, I didn't understand much from your story but regardless, my advice is to chill, and be yourself..what's it matter if you talk to people in general? Be yourself and forget this 'female' nonsense..just relax bro.
  • Thanks but do you really think it was not a sin to call her stupid and yell at her if thats what St Arsenious did.. ?

    No offense but I would still rather if others post too..

    Should I not have talked to this person since she has a boyfriend and it was outside of uni waiting for a train and on a train?..
  • okay so im kinda of confused but this is what i have to say ;
    Talking to people in a relationship is absolutely fine, no problem with it as long as it is just friends. i have a friend that u like totally remind me of, he was never comfortable around girls ,but was only friendly to the guys which gave me a wrong impression, it annoyed me how he never looked me in the eye n how if he was lookin my way hed turn quickly if i turned around. when he got to know me we r good friends, he is super nice, but i used to be afraid of him and thought he was mean, but turned out he liked me. U shud defenetly talk to people more often, be social , n that would defenietly give me the impression u r unfriendly or hate me, im not really sure if i have been writing about what u were asking or if i am way off topic, but yea thats my experience
    luv
    mb
  • yeah u should just relax and theres no problem w/ talking to other 'females' just dont act nervous because that might give her the impression that you like her or you want something to happen. i think your one of those people that needs to break out of their shell and act like themselves instead of hiding and never talking to people. just think that you might never talk or see that person again and if you want them to talk to you one time what it would be like. may God bless you
  • If you go to the monasteries in egypt (particulary the red sea), a lot of monks won't speak to girls..you'll keep talking and they'll ignore you and walk away..one monk had a sign on his door saying no females allowed to visit him..it's kinda weird.
  • [quote author=ServantOfJesus link=board=10;threadid=3844;start=0#msg58523 date=1154537465]
    If you go to the monasteries in egypt (particulary the red sea), a lot of monks won't speak to girls..you'll keep talking and they'll ignore you and walk away..one monk had a sign on his door saying no females allowed to visit him..it's kinda weird.


    Christ said that to even look at a woman with lust is a sin. These monks are simply trying to avoid this at all costs - solving the problem by not looking at a woman in the first place.

    There is a large peninsula in northern Greece, called Mount Athos. It is self-ruled (so basically a small republic) and its inhabited only by monks. Women are not allowed to go onto the peninsula at all, regardless of whether they go near a monastery or not.
  • If you go to the monasteries in egypt (particulary the red sea), a lot of monks won't speak to girls..you'll keep talking and they'll ignore you and walk away..one monk had a sign on his door saying no females allowed to visit him..it's kinda weird.


    also this does not apply to every monk cos my abouna here is from red sea and he is my FOC and he talks to me we kol haga it's everyone's choice a monk thinks he's not capable of stopping himself thinking bad thoughts or lust so he's trying to stop it his way
  • Well I sometimes might like the attention of beautiful women.. and with Gods help I think I can look at them but not imagine any evil visions in my head at least 1/2 of the time maybe..

    How do I know if I have commited lust?

  • I want to delete this
  • [quote author=JesusisKingofKings link=board=10;threadid=3844;start=0#msg58558 date=1154596057]
    Well I sometimes might like the attention of beautiful women.. and with Gods help I think I can look at them but not imagine any evil visions in my head at least 1/2 of the time maybe..

    How do I know if I have commited lust?


    The other 1/2 of the time when you do have evil visions in your head.
  • oh yes lol i hate this problem as for me i don't like the eye to eye look when u r talking to some1 man or woman...
  • there are three kinds of actions/deeds:
    1. physical deeds
    2.talking
    3.thoughts.
    One can commit sin in any or all of these actions just as one can use them to earn rewards from God.
    We all are humans and are bound to faulter at one time or another. Guarding these actions towards actions beneficial to our individual or collective well being will hardly put one into trouble.
    Better still knowing and adopting a stance that directs only good actions to come out of our actions.
    Believe me you are not alone in this, learning to cope with this is better.
    Some of us are comfortable in the midst of women and others are not...its so with some women too.
    I am born in the midst of women and being among them and their friendsis no big deal. It is not so with other.
    Our intentions is what matters...directing it towards good helps.


  • [glow=red,2,300][/glow] just talk to her as a friend, its not a sin to talk to the opposite sex
  • I think ur looking at this waaaaay to much. keep it simple and dont do your headover something so pointless im sure you got beta things to worry about.
    I think by keeping it simple and not worrying who the person in front of u is then after 30 seconds into the conversation u forget that where even talking to a girl

    Maybe you should start by talking to girls from ur church you will find it easier to talk to them as you will have alot in common after ur comforable talking to new girls from church then you can move up to strange women on train stations.

    It is not a sin to talk to the opposite sex, how else do people fall in love even abouna had to work up the courage to talk to his wife and look her in the eyes.

    I read a book by Pope shenouda on the last 4 commandents one of which is adultry and i wish i had it with me so i can quote it but it pretty much said that it is only a sin when u SATISFY the eyes. Which i interpret it as if u accidently look at her body once its not a sin BUT if u "satisfy" the eyes by taking a second look then it is a sin. Following this thoughts may enter ur head and lastly action.

    This is only my opinion but i hope it helps.
  • i have to agree with drumaboy... your reading way too much into things... i would hate to be talking to a guy and he cant look me in the eyes!!! and dude seriously just try to relax and be more open minded... if u fall into sin of bad thoughts then repent and ask God to give u pure thoughts....
  • I want to delete this
  • hey guys............

    THERE IS ACTUALLY GIRLS/WOMEN ON THIS SITE!!

    :P
  • But the people in egypt dont even talk to women... I visited egypt this summer.. all the 'respectable' christian males and females try thier best to not interact with the opposite sex. Maybe it was because I was in a city-section branch of St. Mina's monastery?
  • soooo?

    so.... when guys talk to us:
    1. we want them comfortable
    2.honest
    3. sweet and nice
    4. them selves!
    5. have good actions! and great reputaion!

    or we will just ingnore you! :D
  • Hey bent are u talking about boyz on this site that u would ignore??

    and if u are how can u tell if there comfortable, honest, or wat there actions and reputation is

    Wouldnt that be a little difficult since its only a forum and u dont really know the other ppl
  • In the Name of the Father the Son and Holy Spirit. Amen.

    My son you should be extremely lucky because you fear your Lord Jesus Christ and have the strength of saints. Of course, God is always amongst us and is continuously protecting us from evil.

    From Matthew 5:
    14"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. 15Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."


    You have this light in you! Do not “put it under a bowl”. But let it stand and give light to those who around you, including women. Those who are of God are joyous because our Lord came and saved us from total condemnation. Lift your head up high and show the strength of the Lord your God.

    Females are part of the gentile; they cannot be excluded, even if you were a monk. God’s is perfect and we were created from his image. So, women also were made perfect. And their beauty appeals to man. Appreciate God’s beauty in women and do not allow lustful thoughts to enter your mind.

    Forget completely about gender differences and focus on the personality of the person and their relationship with God.

    Try not to assume the thoughts of the person in front of you. By doing this we try to assume what they would like to hear rather than what you would like to tell them.

    By actually speaking to this person while waiting for the train you have taken your first step. When speaking to the person speak casually and make eye contact. For through the eyes one can see the thoughts of the other person. Just because she told you she has a boyfriend it does not mean you should stop talking to her. It was just a self-defense mechanism that states that she is “taken”, nothing more or less. You can still be her friend and spend time with her. Try to learn more about the innate female characteristics versus males and the female perspective of the world and of God. Try to learn something new about the other sex so that when the time comes for marriage you may understand the other sex as much as possible and this will simplify the wedlock in the future.

    Do not worry because it seems you do this in excess nor should you think in excess of the thoughts of others. Learn to leave this in God’s hands. In everything, not just relations with the other sex.

    Psalm 27:3 says:
    “Though an army should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear;
    Though war should arise against me, in this I will be confident.”

    Lastly, in the book of H.H. Pope Shenouda III, Ten Concepts, on page 13 it says:

    “A powerful person does not feel anxious or disturbed, nor does he experience fear, failure or hesitation.”


    It is a very difficult thing to do; but try to become that powerful person with the help of God. We are empowered by Him, not because the source of power is from ourselves, but Him.

    May the Love of Jesus Christ Be With You. Amen.

    <><
  • [quote author=bentBABAyasooa` link=board=10;threadid=3844;start=15#msg60392 date=1157633289]
    soooo?

    so.... when guys talk to us:
    1. we want them comfortable
    2.honest
    3. sweet and nice
    4. them selves!
    5. have good actions! and great reputaion!

    or we will just ingnore you! :D


    and i totally agreeeeeeeee lol :D
  • drumaboy, it is differed what i have said!

    it is actually for ppl who see each other and want to be friends!

    Maramar, bas ya bent!
  • haha i luvvvvvv annoyin u its SOO ------------- MUCH--------------- FUNNNNNNNNNNN lolllllll jp :-*
  • maramar 327..........

    hahahahaha.............

    u think it is funny???!?!?

    i don't!

    haha.....

    j.k.
  • When you start to anaylse everything too much then things become complicated so rest easy and do not let the devil play with your thoughts. Our Lord teaches us to be simple in heart!!! :)
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