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which is better?
ok...i was never sure of this so i thought i should the opinions of everyone on tasbeha.org...ok my question is...if someone asks you a question and the only way you can answer it is in a way that would hurt the person's feelings...is it better to say a white lie to spare their feelings or is it just better to tell them the truth? i know its bad to lie....i know lying is a sin...bit isnt is also bad to hurt someones feelings? well i never knew the answer to this...so please everyone reply and tell me what you think would be the right thing to do!
Comments
*For me I think that you can say a lie on some occasions or conversations because it depends on the subject like if they asked you do you like my new outfit and it looks rediculous and you say I love it, that's a lie but if you tell them the truth that will hurt them!
*So what I'm trying to say is that it depends on whether you think the topic would hurt there feelings remember that always when you lie go CONFESS that's the best thing!
[move][glow=red,2,300]*God Bless*[/glow][/move]
-Nans-
There is no such thing as a white lie or a small lie, u have to tell the truth no matter what. It's better telling them the truth and hurting them a bit..then them believing in a lie or u lying to not hurt them.
Never lie...Always tell the truth...it's okay if u are being a bit harsh...it will proove that u are an honest person.
How can you answer copticmarian by telling her to lie to please her friend?. don't you know:
1- We must obey God much more than men.
2- This sin you mentioned is intentionally and wilfully done, in which in the prayer of Holy,Holy, Holy, we ask God to forgive us our sins which we did willingly and unwillingly, those which we commeted knowingly and unknowingly.
3- By your answer you make a mockery of the Holy Sacrament of Confession .
Hello copticmarinm,
There is no so called white lie, any sin we do it is separation from God. Such separation lead to spiritual death and darkeness of the soul untill we have sincere repentance from the heart followed by confession to have the absolution.
Abouna Moises (he is the priest in the Archdiocese in Cedar Grove) once said that we worry about our image and make sure people see that we are Christian that we sometimes forget to be christian.
Lieing is NOT christian. Taking your example coptgirl. If a friend asks you if the outfit looks good or bad, you don'thave to lie but you can say the truth in a tactfull manner. so instead of saying "its rediculus" consider something like "If you like, then it doesn't matter what I think but if you are asking for my honest opinion, I won't wear it" or something of that sort.
Besides, lets say you do lie to make her/him feel better. They wear it and go out and someone REALLY hurts thier feeling by pointing out the negatives of the outfit. that person would be mad at you for not being honest.
The devil is a liar and the father of liars. We don't want to be his children
Try to stick to one thread in one relevant Board. Duplicate threads will be deleted.ý
T A S B E H A . O R G
Coptic boy,
Excellent summary of the whole thread, great work.
What do you think of my new outfit?
now you can choose to lie, which is bad, and you'll regret it afterwards. Or you can say this.
Oh, its not my style, and that if you like it thats all that matters. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. simple as that. You don't have to answer the question you know. Its better than lieing. If they expect you to answer, then they should respect your views, and that you were being honest about it, rather than being a bad friend and lieing. I hope that helped. God Bless You All
I believe there are two ways you can take the blame. Here are examples and scnarios:
Example 1:
Lets say you have a borther that stole some money from your parents. You know that they will repremand him more than you. So you go and tell your parents that it was your fault and that you did so you are protecting your little sibling.
while this may seem like the noble thing to do, what will happen is your brother will start thinking that it is ok to steal as long as there is someone else that will take the blame for it. When he gets repremanded he will learn that his actions are wrong. You didn't do it so why are you lieing? You may feel that it is wrong to "tell on him" that is fine but you don't lie to get him out of trouble which will later get him into more trouble
Example 2:
Saint Marina the monk. She was a Woman and loved monasticism. She got dressed in the cloths of men and joined a monestary. After a while, they would send her (thinking its a him) to the city to get some of the monks' needs. She would stay at this hotel as curtousy from the hotel owner. The daughter of the hotel owner committed adultry and she got pregranent. When she gave birth, she said that the monk Marina (again thinking she is a man) was the father. Saint Marina did not defend herself (in essence took the blame). she suffered much as she was kicked out of the monestary and was forced to take care of the child. For years and years she lived outside the monestary bringing up the son she never had to be a good monk. After she grew old, they let her in the monestary since she showed signs of repentance and even made her son a monk. When she passed away, they went to bury her body and found out she was a woman and she couldn't have possibly commited adultry and that would have never been her son. (the real mother of the child confessed and they all believed in God and became God Christians after that)
Moral of the story is, we may decide not to defend oursevles (and take the blame for something we didn't do) but we don't lie and say we did it. Even Jesus Himself. He took the blame for all our sins (past, present and future) even though He was PERFECT in every aspect and never committed a sin. As His Holliness Pope Shenouda said in his poem (Contemplations of Barabas) So bottom line, don't lie to take the blame, but if you feel that you are being accused unjustly and don't want to answer, then feel free to do it.
(Another example is the story of Sosana, it is read during Apocalypse and it is in the Apocripha. its Beautyfull. READ IT)
That really helped a lot ;D
God bless! :)
-Laura
this is what u answer "if u like them i like them"
or kid about them "did u borrow thoes from a smurf?" or u can always say this "their nice but i would never wear them"
Lastly and one of my favorates "no"